There’s A Reason Moving In Before Marriage Makes Divorce More Likely, But Barstool Can’t Figure It Out

First comes love, then comes an indeterminate period of conveniently living together to decide whether your partner’s dishwasher-loading habits are a dealbreaker, then comes marriage.

Today Many young daters believe that moving in together is necessary for marital success. But It is actually hikes up a couple’s proclivity toward divorce compared to spouses who wed without first cohabitating — a statistic that shocked hosts Jordyn Woodruff And Alex Bennett Of Barstool Sports’ “Mean Girl” podcast in Wednesday’s episode.

“Couples who live together before marrying have nearly an 80 percent higher divorce rate than those who do not,” Bennett Not a doubt.

“Which is crazy because you’d think you’d be the opposite,” Woodruff responded. “I lived with my boyfriend of five years and we broke up because we knew we weren’t compatible because we lived together.”

“Because living together is the way you find out,” Bennett added, even though, as she noted, she and her husband didn’t move in together before marriage (mostly as a matter of coincidence).

“Of course the natural step would have been to move in together,” She continued. “You save on rent, I get to know how you do the dishes, we get to do all of these things beforehand, before we get married.”

For most young couples, that’s the prevailing mindset. Producer Alanna Vizzoni piped in to note that she didn’t know anyone who hadn’t lived together before tying the knot: “I feel like that’s just kind of how people do it now.”

Instead Although cohabitation tends to result in better marital outcomes, it is also making marriages more difficult We offer less successful. Why?

Maybe it’s because the mentality that encourages moving in together also fosters an approach to relationships that is focused on self-fulfillment instead of mutually gratifying self-sacrifice and permanence — while stripping the dating-to-marriage process of its natural tendencies toward steadfast commitment.

The Common attitudes toward marriage are displayed in Bennett And Woodruff’s conversation asks: Does This person can meet my needs? Does He made me Feel happy? Those These questions can be answered easily by living together, outside of the sacred marriage vow. But They are the exact same questions and can often lead to divorce if one spouse is not able to meet their needs or inspire happiness.

That Self-focusedness is a key ingredient in Woodruff’s theory about why the statistic might be true. “When you’re not living with someone you’re continuously keeping your own life, your own hobbies, your own things that fulfill you,” She suggested. “But when you live with someone, because I did this, your life becomes their life, and you forget to take care of your own life and your own needs.”

Woodruff is right about one thing: it’s a lot easier to be selfish when you don’t live with another person. Seeing The ability to “take care of your own life” A recipe for failure is the top criterion of a healthy marriage.

If You enter a marriage with your ultimate partner.