Conservative stance: Surrogacy and its Pro-Life Concerns
Another exciting announcement of a surrogate-born baby by a gay conservative has sparked a wave of congratulations from conservative elites. It’s interesting how these same people may have criticized Pete Buttigieg’s hospital bed photo, but now that it’s one of their own, all the messages about ”kids needing moms and dads,” “stop erasing women,” and “end child trafficking” seem to disappear.
This isn’t the first surrogacy announcement, and it certainly won’t be the last. So here’s your guide on how to respond when a conservative, whether gay or straight, announces the creation of a motherless child.
First and foremost, your arguments should focus on defending the rights of the child. While there are valid bioethical and feminist arguments against surrogacy, they often fall flat because the women involved in the process consent to it. Instead, take a conservative stance that rejects surrogacy based on the child’s natural rights to life, a mother and father, and freedom from being bought and sold.
When discussing surrogacy, always center the conversation on the rights and well-being of the child. Share stories of children conceived through surrogacy to highlight the potential negative consequences of #BigFertility.
Next, let’s talk about the framework of surrogacy. It essentially divides the role of a mother into three separate women: the genetic mother, the birth mother, and the social mother. For children, all three of these mothers are essential, and any separation causes them to experience loss. Surrogacy intentionally forces a child to lose one or all of these mothers, which is an injustice.
Now, let’s address some common objections you may encounter as an advocate for the child.
If You Love Babies, Why Don’t You Love Surrogacy?
While many conservatives may celebrate the creation of a new life, it’s important to understand that surrogacy is not just about babies. It’s about the creation of on-demand designer babies that can be shipped worldwide.
Surrogacy often involves IVF, and the limited data available reveals that only a small percentage of lab-created babies survive. Many embryos are discarded for being sub-par or the wrong sex, while others are frozen, donated to research, or don’t survive the thaw and transfer. This raises ethical concerns about the commodification of human life.
The Dark Side of Surrogacy: A Marketplace of Children
Lance Bass and his partner went through numerous attempts at surrogacy, sifting through countless embryos. It’s no surprise that fertility doctors in conservative states are now in a panic after the recent Dobbs ruling. Protecting children from the moment of conception would completely disrupt their profitable business model.
Abortion, or “selective reduction,” is a common practice in surrogacy contracts. It serves as a means of quality control and quantity control. When you’re shelling out six figures, you expect to receive the exact baby you ordered, even if it means terminating a defective product. But let’s not forget about the pile of tiny babies who didn’t make it through IVF and surrogacy. IVF, and surrogacy in particular, cannot be considered pro-life.
Surrogacy vs. Adoption: A Stark Contrast
Surrogacy and adoption may both involve familial loss for the child, but that’s where the similarities end. Adoption is an institution focused on the well-being of children, while third-party reproduction, including surrogacy, operates as a marketplace catering to the desires of adults. Here are four key differences:
- In adoption, parents seek to mend the child’s parental loss, whereas in third-party reproduction, the adults inflict the loss upon the child. Studies have shown that adoptees fare better in terms of identity struggles and parental trust, highlighting the psychological burden of being raised by the adults who caused their parental loss.
- In adoption, the child is the client, and the goal is to find a family for every child. In the world of #BigFertility, the adult is the client, and the goal is to fulfill the desires of adults at any cost, even if it harms the child.
- Adoptive parents support the child in processing their grief and questions, as they are not responsible for the child’s loss. In surrogacy, the adults raising the child are responsible for the child’s grief, leaving the child to process their emotions alone. In #BigFertility, it’s the children who end up supporting the adults.
- While adoption may be necessary in certain circumstances, third-party reproduction is never necessary. Adoption is a just solution when parents are unable or unwilling to care for their child, ensuring the child finds a loving and vetted home. Third-party reproduction, on the other hand, may be wanted but is never essential.
In summary, a just society cares for orphans instead of creating them.
Surrogacy: Baby-Selling or Child Trafficking?
As the assistant director of a major Chinese adoption agency, I can attest to the strict compliance with regulations in the adoption process. Adoptive parents pay significant amounts of money to ensure a safe placement, with checks and balances in place. Direct payments to birth/genetic parents are strictly prohibited, and any such transactions would be considered trafficking, leading to criminal liability for the parents and the agency.
In contrast, the entire fertility industry thrives on direct payments to genetic and birth parents. Prospective parents don’t pay for screening or vetting; instead, they directly pay the genetic and birth parents to relinquish their child. Surrogacy is undeniably a form of child trafficking.
Surrogacy: A Loss of Identity for All Children
Surrogacy always results in children losing their relationship with their birth mother on the day they are born. This separation, not caused by tragedy but by the desires of adults, inflicts a “primal wound” on the child. Regardless of whether surrogacy is used by straight or gay couples, the loss of one’s birth mother leaves a lasting impact.
Olivia, a surrogate-born individual, shares her story of insecurity and lifelong feelings of abandonment, despite being raised by a mother and father. It’s crucial for conservatives to object to surrogacy, regardless of the sexual orientation of the couples involved.
Are These Kids Better Off Dead?
Some argue that these children should be grateful for their existence thanks to #BigFertility. But should they not be allowed to voice their struggles with identity, mother-hunger, commodification, separation trauma, lack of medical history, and the presence of numerous half-siblings? These issues are real and cannot be dismissed. Instead of creating a marketplace for children, we should focus on caring for them.
Engaging Paraphrase:
Have you ever wondered about the secrets people carry, the things they may never know, and the fears that they may be dating their own brother? It’s a mind-boggling thought, isn’t it?
And it’s no surprise that these kids, who are dealing with such unimaginable situations, disproportionately struggle with depression, delinquency, and substance abuse. It’s a heavy burden for anyone to bear.
But just like children conceived through rape, we can still find reasons to celebrate their lives while acknowledging the challenging circumstances of their conception. It’s important to approach this topic from a conservative perspective, one that recognizes the complexities and seeks to find understanding.
What are the emotional side effects of surrogacy?
The emotional challenges that gestational carriers could face may be more pressing for you, which is where our surrogacy program comes in. Gestational surrogates may experience: Depression during or after the pregnancy. Difficult and confusing feelings of loss at the end of the process. On can have significant psychological and emotional consequences for the child as they grow up. It raises questions about identity, belonging, and their place in the world.
Additionally, surrogacy can lead to a loss of identity for the genetic mother. Often, women who become surrogates have a biological connection to the child they carry. However, once the child is born, they are no longer recognized as the mother. This loss of identity can be deeply troubling for the surrogate, as well as the child.
Surrogacy also raises ethical concerns about the rights and autonomy of women. The process often involves a monetary transaction, which can lead to exploitation and commodification of women’s bodies. Women may be pressured or coerced into becoming surrogates, resulting in a violation of their rights and dignity.
Furthermore, the practice of surrogacy perpetuates the idea that a child needs to have a biological connection to their parents in order to be loved and cared for. This undermines the importance of love, nurturing, and support that can be provided by adoptive parents who may not share a genetic bond with the child.
It is essential to recognize that children deserve to have their rights protected and their best interests put first. Society should prioritize finding loving and stable homes for children in need, rather than focusing on fulfilling the desires of adults through surrogacy.
In conclusion, surrogacy raises complex ethical and moral questions. It is crucial to approach the topic with a focus on the rights and well-being of the child. Advocates for the child should highlight the potential negative consequences of surrogacy and promote alternative solutions such as adoption. By centering the conversation on the rights and needs of the child, we can work towards creating a more just and compassionate society.
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