The Washington Free Beacon’s Dirty Dozen Rules For Thriving In D.C.

POLITICO, a Beltway gossip site located many floors below the ground, published Friday’s POLITICO. Washington Free Beacon, released a list its 28 “Rules for Surviving In D.C.“The compendium contains such gems as “Say ‘Nice to see you’—even if it is your first time seeing the person,” “Be subtle about asking what someone does for a living.”

These rules could be helpful for those who follow Virginia-based political gossip blogs and seek life advice. We know that our readers don’t just want to be content. “survive” in D.C.—they want to thrive. We can’t allow our neighbors to print the D.C. lifestyle guide. They’re located in Virginia and we are based there. “Washington” In our name.

These are the Washington Free Beacon The dirty dozen secrets to success in Washington, D.C.

Tell people that you are a MSNBC daytime host if you want to be invited to an exclusive event. Velshi and Ruhle / YouTube

The network is not actually watched by anyone, so long as you don’t look too hipster and seem condescending enough, you might be allowed in. This tactic is also useful for important-sounding titles, such as “Director of Strategic Competition Leveraging at SKDK” Or “Secretary of Transportation.”

Instead of ‘Nice to meet you,’ greet people with ‘Have we slept together?’ Getty Images

Nothing shouts “Stop!” “Washington rookie” Introduce yourself to someone you have already met. Avoid this embarrassing faux pas that could endanger your career. “Have we slept together?” If you don’t have a Lyft account, ask for directions to the Red Roof Inn nearest you and offer to pay.

If you are able to meet a female legislator, inquire about her husband’s financial situation.

It’s a common adage that Washington’s most commonly asked question is “so, what do you do?” Particularly women are tired of this question, especially since they do almost everything for an average of 18% less than men.

Shake things up at your next cocktail party by asking female lawmakers, lobbyists—or, more likely, PR flaks—to tell you what their spouse does to support their attacks on the glass ceiling. This will demonstrate that you care more about your family than just your job.

Tell people that Washington is your home, no matter where you are located

The White House is located in the middle Pennsylvania Avenue, not on the side of Lee Highway. Nobody wants that.