Systemic Racism Is All Around Us, Like Fairies And Invisible Aliens

The Andrew Klavan Show’s opening is speech is presented below.

Because there are only so many times we can watch the movie” Sausage Party” and we need a good joke, we are always afraid to discuss the insight and implications of leftist argument on this show. Today, we’d like to examine the Systemic Racism argument, the public’s attempt to explain why American best fail to prosper despite Democrats’ best efforts to eradicate them.

This first put the words in its proper context. Let’s say you’re a cunning Democrat fraud artist who also happens to be the president of the American Federation of Teachers. However, Randi Weingarten is not the name because we don’t want to face legal repercussions. And this lower huckster, let’s call her Wendy Ramsbottom, uses her nefarious influence over the Democratic party to keep schools closed for two year so that her teachers can be paid while underprivileged kids fall into uncurable knowledge. Now that Whiny Garfinkel has created the situation, many dark children who weren’t receiving much education from Barfy Whienefartel are illiterate, making it impossible for companies to hire them and forcing them to engage in at at McDonald’s. Systemic racism happens when companies give wealthy white people the right to read and write because they don’t attend institutions run by filthy Democrats like Farty Whinecandy.

So how precisely is” Systemic Racism” defined? Let’s go through each word individually. You scream inanely and repeatedly, making the sound of a bird being pursued by jackhammers, when you use the word” racism.” Additionally, the word” widespread” is a multisyllabic nonsense intended to give the screeching bird sound as though it means something. When the two words are combined,” Systemic Racism” means that someone has noticed that Democrats have ruined the lives of black men and that you must kill them out by yelling at them.

Here what makes the Systemic Racism concept now entertaining right now. Almost everyone Republicans do is systemic racism once Democrat unions have given up on providing public education in dark neighborhoods, once you’ve put in place Democratic welfare programs that support fatherless children among the poor, when Democrats have taught that people that everyone is against them and they have no chance of success, and when they defund the police so that criminals may communities that communities that have been destroyed by riots incited by Democrats.

Here are some examples, and as God is my witness, each and every one of them is a true examples taken from information that leans to the left.

Because white Democrats used to have picnics at hangings, The Philadelphia Inquirer claims that” outings” are racist. Personally, I believe the Inquirer does have overlooked the real racist component. The massacres, specifically. It seems to me that you could have picnics with, say, sack races in place, but that might go against a long-standing Democratic lifestyle. specifically hangings

According to The Los Angeles Times, white drivers are racist because they desecrate the neighborhoods they pass while driving, but they don’t stop to shop in the dark neighborhoods because there is high crime that, because Democrats have dismantled the police, and because the schools have been defunded.

Skittles and jelly beans, according to the Democratic California say assembly, are racist because they are unhealthy and many black people consume them in order to indulge in sweet pleasures that Democrats have destroyed.

According to Mother Jones, eating three meals a day is racist because colonial colonists followed less restrictive eating schedules than aboriginal natives did, leading them to believe that living in dirt huts and being conquered by colonists were more common.

Now, according to Afru book, coffee is racist because it was once harvested by slaves. Okay, they can put me that as long as I get my damned coffee, but I don’t service.

As you can see, structural racism is pervasive, like fairies or those unseen creatures that warn you that Jesus is returning and that you should sell everything you own and relocate to the plain. We can only free dark people from the restraints that keep them in Democratic-run cities without education or police by being ignorant and skipping lunch. After all, it’s really incredibly difficult to imagine what possible resolution there could be to the difficulties in black districts brought on by Democrat laws if we can’t finish Giving Racism by giving up jelly beans and picnics.

However, if you give me a moment, I might come up with someone.

Andrew Klavan is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. A popular political satirist and Hollywood screenwriter, Klavan is also an award-winning novelist. His newest novel is A Strange Habit of Mind, book two in the Cameron Winter Mystery series.

The opinions expressed in this humorous piece are the author’s personal opinions and do not always reflect those of The Daily Wire.