Introducing Hunter Biden: The Hero for Right-Wing Conservative Patriots.

Right-wing conservative patriots are understandably ​frustrated with America’s political​ leaders. It​ often seems as⁢ though no one in a position of ‍prominence has ⁢the courage ‌or testicular⁣ fortitude‍ to stand up and fight⁢ for ​their values.

They need⁤ a hero who gets⁤ them. Someone who understands their passion for freedom and​ capitalism. Someone who respects the military. Someone who fights. A hero ​who is willing ​to do whatever ‌it takes to stop‍ President Joe Biden from destroying this⁤ great‍ country.

Perhaps this hero does exist. ⁣A ruthless capitalist who‍ loves⁢ the Second Amendment as much as‍ he hates the IRS, and is doing more ⁢than any Republican leader⁣ to bring‍ down the Biden administration. We’ve‌ just been looking for him in all the wrong places.

Meet ‍Robert Hunter Biden.⁢ You probably already know who he is. (The delinquent adult son of President Joe Biden.) So‌ you’re probably more ‍likely to think⁢ of him as a ⁢liberal scumbag than​ as a right-wing freedom‍ fighter.

Perhaps we should consider the facts​ and⁤ examine the evidence before rushing to judgment. Now⁣ more than ever, we mustn’t​ let⁢ our partisan​ biases‌ cloud our judgment and deprive us​ of ⁢potential allies in the fight to Make America Great Again again.

The‍ Case for Hunter Biden, ‍Conservative Hero:

• He’s an anti-tax crusader: Like most hardworking American patriots, ‌Hunter hates⁤ having to fork⁤ over ⁣a chunk of his paycheck to⁢ the federal government so that‍ feckless bureaucrats can fund trauma therapy ⁤for‍ journalists​ (no, we’re‍ not kidding) and other boondoggles.⁤ Hunter doesn’t just complain ‌about ​the IRS. For years, he has nonviolently protested injustice by⁤ withholding tax payments, refusing to disclose hard-earned foreign income, and writing off his⁢ prostitution-related endeavors as legitimate business expenses. That’s not all. Hunter is suing ⁤the IRS for failing to⁤ safeguard ‌his privacy ‍after two so-called whistleblowers revealed sensitive⁤ information about ‌the agency’s‍ investigation of his taxes. He’s not just another schmuck who talks the ⁢talk. ⁢He fights the fight!
• He’s a gun rights pioneer: Throughout his troubled life, ⁣Hunter has proudly exercised his right to bear arms in accordance with the Second⁤ Amendment. Rather than accept a plea deal, Hunter is contesting the federal government’s case against ‌him⁣ for allegedly⁣ lying about his so-called substance abuse on a‍ form to acquire a handgun. Hunter’s ⁤lawyers are likely to point out ​the government’s lack​ of hard evidence—in the form of illicit drugs seized​ from their client—in‍ a case alleging that⁢ Hunter was not legally⁣ allowed to possess ⁢a firearm. (Witch hunt?) They may also argue that the law barring drug users from owning guns violates the U.S. Constitution by infringing ‍on the⁢ rights of American citizens to bear arms.
• He’s an unapologetic capitalist: Liberals love to⁤ complain about ⁢”greedy” capitalists who only⁢ care about getting rich. As⁤ former president B. Hussein Obama once ​said, “at a certain ​point you’ve made enough money.” Real Americans know that’s a bunch ​of bulls—t, and ‌Hunter ​Biden couldn’t agree more. Hunter knows that the whole point of ​American capitalism is that winners win ⁤and losers lose.⁤ This guy knows how to​ win, and couldn’t care less ⁣if they think ⁣the way ‌in which he earned his fortune—peddling ‍access to his father ​to shady foreign entities—was “unethical.” ⁤(Cry more, loser.)
• He’s a ‍military enthusiast: Hunter tried to serve his ‍country with honor, but regrettably our military lacked the wherewithal to accommodate ‍individuals with special needs. (Cocaine.) Nevertheless, he has always​ been ⁢a staunch supporter of military veterans ⁣such as his brother, ⁢Beau Biden. When ‌it comes to fulfilling the particular⁤ needs ‌of‌ military wives and widows, Hunter has gone above and beyond ⁢the call of duty. After his brother‌ passed away from ⁣cancer in 2015, Hunter was there‌ to enthusiastically console the grieving widow,⁢ Hallie Biden, ⁣as well as her married older sister, Elizabeth ‌Secundy. Where’s his Medal of Honor?

He‌ is Joe Biden’s biggest threat:⁢ Republican politicians claim they want to save‍ America from President Biden and his radical left-wing allies, ​but their efforts thus far⁤ have yielded diddly squat. Hunter might not be a Republican on paper, but it’s fair to say that no one has done more to undermine the Biden administration​ and weaken⁤ the president’s chances​ of winning reelection.

God⁤ bless you, Hunter Biden. Keep up the⁣ great work!