Birth control isn’t for your daughter’s back-to-school list.

Not ‍Your ⁤Average Back-to-School Supply ⁣List

I didn’t have dystopian ⁢back-to-school shopping lists on my 2023 bingo card, but here we are. USA Today recently published “Not your average back-to-school supply list,” which included contraception,​ fentanyl test‌ strips​ and naloxone (Narcan), Covid tests and vaccines, and making sure you’ve⁣ got a​ mental health‌ expert’s contact info on hand. Undoubtedly, that last one is for the inevitable breakdowns that will occur from the depression caused ⁢by your daughter’s birth control, the disturbing⁤ sight of teens dropping⁣ dead on campus from fentanyl overdoses, and the ‍looming threat of mask ​mandate reinstatements — not to mention, for making sure kids with ⁤conflicted feelings about their sexuality are affirmed in their confusion, and that it’s ‌all hidden ​from parents.

Welcome to the​ 2023-2024 school ⁢year,​ kiddos!

Not to be outdone, NPR is in on the fun, too. In a glowing “All Things Considered”⁤ segment on “proactive” young women ticking birth control off‍ their back-to-school lists before‍ shipping out to colleges in those backward ⁤states that​ ban fetal dismemberment, we’re treated to a serene description of the insertion of a‌ Nexplanon implant underneath the skin of an⁣ adolescent girl’s arm in an Oakland, ‌California high​ school clinic, all set to pan flute music,⁣ and complete with muted sounds of the ​procedure⁣ as it happens in the background.

At the end of the‌ segment, with the young woman having been effectively, ⁣temporarily sterilized, we hear the ​host of ​the segment characterize the ​teen’s “relief” as one⁣ of being able⁢ to “focus⁢ on her education and revel in ⁢the freedom of college” — of ‌course, it’s all been ‌done ‍to ensure ‌that the ⁤young woman ​can still remain sexually available to the‌ guy with whom she’s been sleeping “off and on, off and on,” now that he’s headed off to⁣ the same school as she⁢ is in⁢ — *gasp* —⁢ that conservative, anti-choice hellhole known as Texas. Thank God for California’s lax‌ adolescent birth‍ control policies⁤ that allow school nurses to write scrips for birth control (even an entire year’s worth, for free!) for kids without their ‍parents’ ⁢notification or permission, am I ⁤right?

In all seriousness, that birth control has now been added to corporate media’s “back-to-school‍ lists” (to say nothing of Narcan⁢ injections and the phone numbers of‍ gender⁤ ideology-pushing school ‍counselors) makes ⁤me ​incredibly sad for our girls.‌ It calls to mind ‌my Natural Womanhood colleague’s ⁤recent comment that ‌we now collectively “talk about our daughters as if they’re the ‌family pet” — you know, the cats and dogs we spay for their ‍own health and protection, given​ that ‍they just can’t help‌ themselves from engaging ⁢in their animalistic impulses? “I don’t​ think of my daughters⁤ that way, and I ⁣don’t ⁤want them to think of‌ themselves that⁤ way, either,” Jackie ⁣said. As the mother of multiple ‌daughters ⁤myself, I agreed.

Jackie’s incisive comment came as we‍ developed content for our Mothers of⁢ (Pre)Teens online course, geared toward‌ empowering mothers to have essential ⁣conversations with their daughters about⁣ puberty, their ​cycles ⁣and fertility,​ and the dignity inherent in it all. Far from being a ⁣one-note ​“sex⁣ ed” program, our course provides what⁢ preteen​ and teen​ girls crave⁢ far more than⁢ being taught how to put a condom on a banana, or how to ⁣choose which device or pill loaded with a cocktail of hormones they ⁢should shove ​into their bodies: to understand the changes in their developing⁣ bodies, to know why it’s⁤ all happening (especially their periods,​ and the emotional shifts ‌that occur over⁣ the course of their cycles), and how to get help‌ when their periods feel⁢ impossible to ⁢cope with.

Most importantly, in an age where every self-styled “educator” or “counselor” is ‌hell-bent on hiding your child’s most intimate secrets from‍ you, the parent, we​ developed⁣ our course with the twofold goal of fostering a relationship⁤ of trust between mothers and daughters⁤ and⁢ empowering mothers ‌to be the primary resource for their⁣ daughters on ⁤these deeply personal topics.

Despite NPR and USA Today’s urgings, our girls don’t need the⁤ pseudo-empowerment ‌of birth control’s ‍“protection” ⁤from the inner workings of ⁣their own bodies, they​ need an understanding of their dignity as budding young ⁣women, created with the⁣ natural ability to nurture and⁣ bring forth new life someday — and the‍ incredible gift that is. What⁢ they really‍ desire is not the ⁣ability to participate in the heartbreak of hookup culture, but a ⁣truly empowered body literacy, which reinforces for them the⁣ truth that they are fearfully and wonderfully made, just as they are, apart from whatever feelings they⁣ can excite in others.

So this school​ year, do better than treating your daughter as⁣ the family pet, and keep birth control off ⁣her‌ “back-to-school” list. ⁤Show her the dignity she ⁣deserves,⁢ and give her the guidance she needs to navigate the ⁣realities of life as a ⁤young woman in this insane world where powerful‌ drugs, vaccines, and antidotes dominate media ⁤pieces about “preparing” and “protecting” our children (likely written‌ and produced by people without any ⁤children of ‌their own). Break the cycle of shame⁢ and fear surrounding womanhood that has some girls literally shedding their flesh ​to ape some facsimile of masculinity, and others sexualizing,‌ sterilizing, and objectifying themselves ⁢to earn ​the⁢ attention they so desperately crave, which they’ve confused ⁤for the dignity of ‌deep and lasting love.

As women ​ourselves, ‍we mothers are uniquely situated to provide this information to our daughters (but I should note that loving⁤ dads and grandparents have⁢ reached out to us about using our‌ course,⁣ too). It’s high time we stop⁣ passing the buck on our duties as mothers to prepare, empower, and inform the ⁤next generation ‌of women, ⁤and you⁣ owe it to yourself⁢ and to your daughter to work through whatever hangups and lies you’ve‍ been sold about the dignity of your own⁤ womanhood first‍ (and‍ for that, I recommend the work of the incredible⁢ female scholars at Fairer Disputations and Theology ‌of Home).

One thing’s for ⁣sure: If you’re the⁤ mother or other parental figure of a young girl,⁢ this is up to you — but it can be done. Oh, and know that NPR, USA Today, or your child’s pediatrician ⁢or school counselor sure ​won’t‌ do it for you.