the bongino report

#MeToo Puritans Remove Cleavage From Elvira Doll

The #MeToo Puritans have removed Elvira Mistress of the Dark’s iconic cleavage and appear to have done so with the okay of Elvira herself. Will the Woke Gestapo never cease?

Prior to the left’s Puritanical crusade to eliminate sex from everything (and then pour it into elementary schools to groom small children), this This is Elvira Mistress Of the Dark doll. Used How to look.

And now, here’s the latest incarnation of the Elvira doll. Your #MeToo Utopia is here

Is there something missing?

Perhaps a few?

These left-wing freaks have taken over our culture and are making sexy and sexy out all things, even flooding elementary schools with gay porn or drag queens.

Some might argue that dolls should have cleavage.

This doll isn’t for small children. It’s for Elvira fans, who are now adults.

For those who don’t know, Elvira is the creation of Cassandra Peterson. Peterson played Elvira Mistresse of the Dark from 1981 to 1981 in a syndicated late-night horror series. Thanks to her sense of humor — she basically played a smart bimbo — and her bodacious ta-tas, every Saturday night, Elvira would introduce a public-domain horror movie and then regularly interrupt it with ridicule. It was all about laughs, boobs, irreverence, boobs, bad movies, and boobs — and it was wonderful, a lot of fun. Elvira became a celebrity quickly, and she also released her own film.

But here’s the thing: bewbs.

Boobs and cleavage are as much a part of Elvira’s iconography as Lou Costello and Fatty Arbuckle’s weight, Jimmy Durante and Bob Hope’s nose, Bing Crosby and Clark Gable’s ears, Bela Lugosi’s widow’s peak, Betty Grable’s legs, Veronica Lake’s hair, Peter Dinklage’s height… you get the idea.

Certain characteristics define our cultural icons, and to remove or repair or — heaven forbid — Correct those is cultural vandalism.

Elvira was cool as hell. That’s why everyone loved her. She was gorgeous, self-deprecating, irreverent, funny, easygoing…

Yeah, well, look at her now…

An uptight scold dressing her dolls like a frigid library matron…

Oh, and here’s the best part:

Man, the 80s are gone.

Follow John Nolte via Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.


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