Just 6 Years After His Dad Got 51 Intel Officials to Declare His Laptop ‘Misinformation,’ Hunter Biden Launches $LAPTOP Crypto Coin

It’s been less than six years since then-candidate Joe Biden suborned 51 top intelligence officials into signing a letter implying that Hunter Biden’s leaked laptop was nothing more than a Moscow op that “is Russia trying to influence how Americans vote in this election.”

“Such an operation would be consistent with some of the key methods Russia has used in its now multi-year operation to interfere in our democracy – the hacking (via cyber operations) and the dumping of accurate information or the distribution of inaccurate or misinformation,” they wrote.

“We do not know whether these press reports are accurate, but they do suggest concern within Executive Branch departments and agencies that mirrors ours. It is high time that Russia stops interfering in our democracy.”

The message was clear to everyone: This was a serious matter, and to even report on the salacious and incriminating contents of the laptop was a grave affront to the solemn process of American democracy.

And now, less than six years later, Hunter Biden is cashing in on the laptop these intel experts insisted didn’t show Hunter Biden was cashing in on his dad — and was using the money on drugs and prostitutes — to cash in on the crypto market. Autres temps, autres mœurs, I suppose!

According to The Wall Street Journal, Hunter’s meme coin will start trading on Sept. 9. That a meme coin was forthcoming from the prodigal first son was hardly unexpected, considering he’d already told Tucker Carlson during his interview with the former Fox News host that he “wants to make some money.”

The Wall Street Journal also noted he was doing it to needle at the Trumps, who have been involved in the crypto space, although this feels a bit like Pauly Shore mocking George Clooney for being a terrible Batman: Yes, but at least he was one, wasn’t he?

Hunter spent the majority of his father’s presidency in legal and financial trouble; his father got him out of the first set of problems with a pardon, although he doesn’t seem to be able to help much on the latter, with money problems of his own to deal with.

So the surprise, instead, is that Hunter decided to call the coin $LAPTOP, along with releasing this tin-eared tease video for it:

$LAPTOP

September 9 pic.twitter.com/QokgWLNxgL

— Hunter Biden (@HunterBiden) September 7, 2026

Just to make it clear, Joe Biden basically called in favors from 51 intelligence officials to swear that laptop probably wasn’t real.

He spent a significant amount of political capital — political capital he didn’t have a whole lot of, it’s worth noting — making sure that the media and oversight authorities didn’t have a hard look at it.

He made sure that the people who came forward about the laptop were disgraced and treated like social pariahs.

But now that he’s not president, now that we’ve all admitted that this was a pernicious lie designed to move the needle before the 2020 presidential election and that Hunter Biden was a reprobate who used his father’s name and influence to get jobs he shouldn’t have had to make money he shouldn’t have been making, which was spent on things he shouldn’t have been doing — lol, here’s a meme coin called $LAPTOP, isn’t that Hunter a card?

For those of you interested in losing more money on Hunter Biden, the coin will be launched on Base, the ledger run by Coinbase Global, which is the largest cryptocurrency exchange in the United States.

From The Wall Street Journal:

Meme coins carry no intrinsic value, and most tumble in price within days or even hours after their launch. But some of the tokens have remained relevant thanks to their affiliations with a procession of celebrities, personalities and politicians who issued them to cash in on their fame. Coins tied to President Trump, first lady Melania Trump and former New York Mayor Eric Adams rocketed in value when they launched, only to crash within days.

In launching $LAPTOP, Hunter Biden will bring his weekslong media blitz to the cryptosphere. The 56-year-old has been seen and heard everywhere of late — podcasts, news shows and Substack essays — and at times alongside right-wing provocateurs such as Tucker Carlson and Nick Fuentes. He has opened up on his past troubles, present grievances, and at times promoted the virtues of crypto. 

The “virtues of crypto,” in this case, probably involve the moolah and nothing beyond that.

It was revealed last month that Hunter Biden was at least $17 million in debt for his legal fees alone. Earlier this year, his lawyers said that they couldn’t carry out discovery in one of his lawsuits over his debts because their client was “impecunious,” according to Law.com. In other words: Hunter is too poor for his lawyers to figure out how poor he really is.

And here I thought he was a flourishing artistic talent.

So now, in between slumming it with carbon-wasters like Fuentes and challenging the Trump kids to a cage match (seriously, alas), he’s launching a meme coin named after a toxic laptop which not only showed every type of debauchery imaginable, but which his father debased the U.S. intelligence community to suppress.

But the Trumps are the embarrassments here. Sure. That makes perfect sense, at least to a previously vodka-soaked crackhead whoremonger who clearly lost so much gray matter during those escapades that he thinks this isn’t reprehensible or sullying his father’s legacy more than it’s already been sullied.

It’s one thing to have your own intelligence community hoodwink you before an election. It’s another thing entirely to have it done for a degenerate who thinks it’s so hilarious that he’s issuing a meme coin commemorating the subject of that hoodwinking.

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