Here Are the Crazy Things the Government Wasted Your Money on This Year

Republican Senator Rand Paul is out with his annual Festivus report, detailing how much taxpayer money the federal government wasted throughout the year. 

“This year, I am highlighting a whopping $482,276,543,907 of waste, including a steroid-induced hamster fight club, a study to see if kids love their pets, and a study of the romantic patterns of parrots. No matter how much money’s already been wasted, politicians keep demanding even more,” Paul states in the report. “As always, the path to fiscal responsibility is often a lonely journey, but as I’ve done in years past, I will continue my fight against government waste this holiday season. So before we get to the Feats of Strength, it’s time for my Airing of (spending) Grievances!”

The list of waste includes using COVID relief funds to construct an 11,000 square foot spa, using COVID relief funds to purchase luxury cars, unused hotel rooms for illegal immigrants, studying the romance between parrots, studying the social life and collective intelligence of ants, using mice to study racial aggression and much more. 

“As if spending your money to research how humans feel and express love may sound ridiculous enough, the government is now funding research to see how parrots express love,” the report found. “In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) granted Cornell University $689,222 to study social communication in parrots, studying patterns such as social outcomes, if they kiss, and how males make sexual advances.”

The report comes less than 24-hours after the Senate, with help from Republicans, passed a monstrous $1.7 trillion omnibus spending bill packed with pork. It also passed in the House. 

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