Climate Analysis: There’s No Denying the Next Greta Thunberg Is a Total Babe
Sophia Kianni says the planet’s getting hotter. We’re listening.
Andrew Stiles • December 7, 2022 10:50 am
Remember Greta Thunberg, the Swedish teenager and celebrity scofflaw adored by liberal élites for skipping school and screaming about climate change? Here’s a photo to jog your memory.
Remember the time she sailed to New York from England in a performative display of climate anxiety, and they had to fly crew members in an airplane across the Atlantic to bring the boat back? That was pretty funny, actually.
No normal person was ever going to take Greta Thunberg seriously.
Last month, for example, Thunberg boycotted COP27, a United Nations climate summit in Egypt. She said it wasn’t radical enough for her liking and dismissed the gathering as an opportunity for “people in power” to engage in “greenwashing, lying, and cheating.” (She was also busy promoting her new book at the London Literature Festival.)
Greta’s absence at the UN climate summit created an opportunity for other (hotter and less obnoxious) climate activists to steal her spotlight. Meet Sophia Kianni:
The 20-year-old UN climate adviser stole the show at COP27, cementing herself as the new and vastly improved Greta Thunberg.
She goes to Stanford.
She looks good in a pantsuit.
She looks good on stage.
She looks good in heels.
She looks good at the beach.
She looks good in Chicago.
She goes to music festivals and looks good.
She looks good in magazines. (She was one of the youngest people on the Forbes “30 Under 30” list.)
Kianni is also senior partner at JUV, a Gen-Z consulting firm that advises corporations on sustainability and TikTok.
She went to Scotland and made friends with an owl.
Kianni’s undeniable hotness might actually persuade some normal Americans to start caring about climate change.
In light of these developments, the Washington Free Beacon will conduct a formal reassessment of our militant anti-climate editorial stance.
Stay tuned!
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