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Be Happy You’re Alive In The Age Of Chris Rock, The Modern-Day Mark Twain

The stage was his canvas. He was an animal and a predator. He went there. It was amazing.

Chris Rock knocks Dave Chappelle from the top every time I believe he is the greatest. Rock performed on Saturday night at a Baltimore venue in the premiere-ever Netflix comedy special.

Title of the special: “Selective Outrage.”

The following is a discussion about abortion “If you need to pay for your own abortion, you need to get an abortion.”

On woke culture: “Right now we live in a world where the emergency room is filled up with motherf***ers with paper cuts.”

On Meghan Markle: “It’s the royal family. They’re the original racists. They invented colonialism. They are the OG’s of racism.”

Everyone waited for him to address. “the slap heard ’round the world.” Rock was slapped by Will Smith, an actor who slapped Rock almost a year ago at the Oscars. Rock has only spoken sparingly about it.

It’s not Saturday night. The real thing will be revealed when you watch the special, but this is the simplified version.

“Will Smith practices selective outrage because everyone that knows what happened, everybody that really knows, knows I had nothing to do with that s***. I didn’t have any entanglements,” Rock,


“Now I normally wouldn’t talk about this s***. But for some reason these n***** put that s*** on the internet. I have no idea why two talented people would do something that f***** low down. What the f***?” He said.

“We’ve all been cheated on, everybody in here has been cheated on. None of us have been interviewed by the person that cheated on us on television, like, ‘Hey I was sucking somebody else’s d***, how did that make you feel?’ Why the f*** would you do that s***?”

Rock said of Jada pinkett-Smith: “Nobody’s picking on this b****, she started it. Nobody was picking on her. And then this n**** gives me a f*** concussion, OK. What the f***, man?”

Rock didn’t just sit there, he took the slap. That, too, he addressed.

“A lot of people are like, ‘Chris why didn’t you do nothing back?’ Because I got parents that’s why, because I was raised. And you know what my parents taught me? Don’t fight in front of white people.”

The mic was dropped and he walked away. Next to him was a very — very — large bodyguard. Even comedians need protection in this age of selective outrage.

It got off to an explosive start. Rock said it just 30 seconds after the start. “I’m gonna’ try to do a show without offending anyone,” One person in the crowd shouted something. Rock showed right away who was in command: “N**** sit down!”

Never again was the heckler heard.

Rock is among the top social commentators of our time — think a modern-day Mark Twain. This is the man who actually did it. “N***** Vs. Black People” The former claimed the latter glorified inattention and laziness, and boasted about taking care of even the smallest details.

The 58 year-old comic was unafraid to get right on the topic of the day Saturday. He started by taking shots at people who don’t get his jokes. “triggered” Believe that “words hurt.”

“You never know who might get triggered. You say the wrong thing, motherf***ers get scared. You know what people say, ‘Words hurt.’ Anybody that says that words hurt has never been punched in the face,” Rock, “Words hurt — when you write them on a brick.”

Rock offered some guidance. “Don’t fall into the woke trap at all.” He stated that he supported equal rights and social justice for all.

“The thing I have a problem with is the selective outrage. One person does something, they get canceled. Somebody does the exact same thing, nothing.”

This phenomenon Rock Dubbed “selective outrage.”

Just a couple days after Hershey’s released a candy bar on International Women’s Day that featured a transgender — the wrapper said “HerShe” — Rock took aim at all the woke businesses out there, trying to pitch their social awareness to sell more product.

“‘We like to give back. We don’t even like the money. We like to give back.’ I was in the mall the other day, I went by the store Lululemon, I walk by and in the window of every Lululemon there’s a sign that says, ‘We don’t support racism, sexism, discrimination, or hate,'” He said. “And I’m like, ‘who gives a f—?’ You’re just selling yoga pants. I don’t need your yoga pants politics. Tell me how you work on b— sweat.”

Rock later hit an easy target — the royal family. Rock ripped Meghan Markle (half-black) for being the victim. Oprah Winfrey claimed that some members of her royal family had questioned the blackness of a baby with Prince Harry, who is ultra-white.

“‘Oprah, they’re so racist they wanted to know how brown the baby was going to be,'” Rock played Markle, “I’m like, ‘That’s not racist, because even black people want to know how brown the baby going to be. S***, we check behind the ears. That’s a scientific test because you’ve got to know what kind of black child you going to get,'” He said.

“I know her dilemma: black girl trying to be accepted by her white in-laws. Oh, it’s hard. It’s so hard, it’s very hard – but it ain’t as hard as a white girl trying to be accepted by her black in-laws. Now that s*** is really hard,” He said. “I’m like, ‘If you black and you wanted to be accepted by your white in-laws then you need to marry a Kardashian because they accept everybody.'”

The author views are his own, and they do not represent the opinions of The Daily Wire.

Joseph Curl, a journalist covering politics for over 35 years has served as White House correspondent at a national newspaper for 12 years. For four years, he was the Drudge Report’s a.m. Editor. Send tips to [email protected] and follow him on Twitter @josephcurl.

“From Be Happy You’re Alive In The Age Of Chris Rock, The Modern-Day Mark Twain

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