After You Take The Money, You’re Supposed To Keep Quiet

The opening humorous talk from” The Andrew Klavan Show” is presented below.

No matter how conservative or buffoon an American is, they must all agree that unless the former president of the United States committed a fully severe crime, we would not want to violate any historical precedent and endanger our republic. However, it is obviously time to take action when an unnamed assistant in a man’s multi-billion’s dollar company enters some ambiguous bookkeeping information in order to commit some crime that no one can identify.

Donald Trump was charged this week with never wanting his family to learn that he had committed prostitution, a violence typically punishable by having to pay your mistress hundreds of thousands of dollars, but who ends up telling your family anyhow. You might not have heard this if you were hiding in the bedroom, sticking your fingers in your ears, and pretending to play the Battle Hymn of the Republic at full volume.

Alvin Bragg, the district attorney for New York County, gave a amazing performance in front of the internet in which he explained his activities without ever mentioning George Soros. In fact, Soros lit a cigar with the complimentary give that wasn’t shoved up Bragg’s ass’s in order to change his face several times during his statement.

In his speech, Bragg argued that his accusation of Donald Trump on absurdly made-up claims was entirely consistent with American customs, if you count Central America and other regions ruled by Marxist tyrants who also happen to be called America for some absurd thing.

We in New York City may adjust severe acts on the first Tuesday in April at 2:30 in the afternoon, according to Bragg. Donald Trump hasn’t killed or raped anyone, after all. If it were just that, I would gladly release him without a loan so he could spend the rest of his life in the violent depths of Chicago or the untamed forest. But since last evening, no female politician in the history of the world has ever engaged in sexual activity with attractive women without paying them to keep quiet. It is crucial that we take action right away to overthrow the state before men start acting foolishly in front of a truly magnificent pair of breasts.

Questions remained even though the version of the Trump prosecution made it abundantly clear that Trump was particularly being charged with some damned way. What is it, for example, about the phrase” quiet money” that some women find confusing? It’s right’s there in the word” hush ,” after all. Even in the last two characters of the term, Sh, it is present. Which means that after accepting the money, you are expected to remain silent about it rather than explore it on tv. While they’re not’re yet sure, psychiatrists believe it may have something to do with the size of her breasts. They are currently attempting to understand why a man who is married to an extremely attractive woman who speaks five languages would cheat with her. The big-breasted bimbo does not even speak rudimentary English.

Pro – and anti-protesters tried to convey to Washington that they were physically unattractive, physically angry, and had nothing better to do with their time than go to the city as Donald Trump arrived at the Manhattan court to enter a not guilty plea to whatever the devil he was being charged with.

Many responses exhibited greater restraint. The entire people at the former newspapers, the New York Times, gathered solemnly in the neighborhood place to slander fruit on each other’s naked’s bodies before licking it off in a show of mindless frenzied joy at having finally overcome the perilous forces of decency and common sense. Democratic voters across the country vowed to respond to the harsh prosecution by acting foolishly out of blind rage in order to guarantee that Democrats win every elected work until they understood their lesson. Because he had tragically passed away six months prior and was now getting ready to run for re-election, President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden made no statement at all about the prosecution at the White House.

On the plus side, we know that there is one offense that will never be tolerated in the city of New York, despite the fact that the nation is stumbling toward World War III and is plagued by historical prices, untenable bills, and an impending banking crisis. Simply put, we are unsure of which murder it is.

Trigger Alert. This is the Andrew Klavan Show, and my name is Andrew.

Andrew Klavan is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. A popular political satirist and Hollywood screenwriter, Klavan is also an award-winning novelist. His newest novel is A Strange Habit of Mind, book two in the Cameron Winter Mystery series.

This sarcastic story represents the author’s opinions’s, which do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Wire.