10 Disgusting Details From the Andrew Cuomo Sexual Harassment Report

Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D., N.Y.) violated federal and state laws by sexually harassing multiple women during his time in office, the New York attorney general’s office announced on Tuesday.

The findings, detailed in a 165-page report, were the result of a five-month investigation in response to numerous allegations of inappropriate conduct against the governor. It’s worth noting that Cuomo, aka the “Luv Guv,” was praised by journalists and other liberals as an ethical sex icon in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Cuomo responded by once again denouncing his female accusers as liars. “The facts are much different than have been portrayed” in the attorney general’s report, he said. “I never touched anybody inappropriately or made inappropriate sexual advances.”

The governor went on to suggest that the accusations contained in the report were based on “generational or cultural perspectives that I didn’t know about” and suggested his accusers were either seeking attention or had “heard things that I quite simply just didn’t say.”

As you might expect, the report contains a number of alarming revelations about Cuomo’s behavior. Here are nine of the most disgusting details, in no particular order.

1) Stop and frisky

The report includes corroborated allegations from a woman identified as “Trooper #1” who was transferred to the governor’s Protective Service Unit at Cuomo’s request. She testified that the governor made a series of unwanted advances, including “running his hand across her stomach, from her belly button to her right hip, while she held a door open for him at an event,” as well as “running his finger down her back, from the top of her neck down her spine to the middle of her back, saying ‘hey, you,’ while she was standing in front of him in an elevator.” Gross.

2) Call me daddy

Trooper #1 described a conversation with Cuomo in which the governor said his ideal girlfriend would be someone who “can handle pain.”

3) Bodily advice

According to the report, Cuomo told his aide Charlotte Bennett, who was considering getting a tattoo for her birthday, that she should “get it on her butt, where it could not be seen.” The governor, who is widely suspected to have pierced nipples, also asked Bennett whether she had piercings on any other body parts besides her ears. Not surprisingly, she described this conversation as “painfully awkward.”

4) The good listener

Bennett, a victim of sexual assault, described another awkward conversation she had with Cuomo about her plans to give a speech about sexual violence at her alma mater. She recalled being traumatized when Cuomo told her, “‘You were raped. You were raped and abused. You were raped and abused and assaulted’ maybe 17 times in a row and wouldn’t stop.” The conversation eventually moved on to other topics, such as which celebrities Cuomo wanted to sleep with and his dream of driving a woman into the mountains on his motorcycle.

5) The premonition

Cuomo, who declared “I am very funny” in his memoir about successful leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic, reportedly joked that Bennett looked like an alien from the movie Predator when she wore a mask. The comedy routine continued. “If I were investigated for sexual harassment, I would have to say I told her she looked liked a monster,” he said, laughing.

5) The spider trick

A woman named Virginia Limmiatis recalled meeting the governor at an event hosted by the energy company where she worked. The report details the interaction, in which Cuomo assaulted the woman after attempting an insect-themed come on:

Governor then leaned in, with his face close to Ms. Limmiatis’s cheek, and said, “‘I’m going to say I see a spider on your shoulder,” before brushing his hand in the area between her shoulder and breasts (and below her collarbone). Ms. Limmiatis was shocked, and immediately informed a number of other attendees of what had happened.

6) The suave swab

Cuomo attempted to flirt with the female state employee tasked with testing him for COVID-19, requesting that she not administer the nasal swab “so deep that you hit my brain.” The employee said she would be “gentle but accurate,” to which the governor responded with a “joke of an implied sexual nature,” according to the employee’s testimony. “Gentle but accurate, I’ve heard that before,” the hilarious governor quipped.

7) The woke poke

When questioned as to why he requested Trooper #1 be transferred to his security detail, despite lacking the necessary qualifications, Cuomo said the decision was based on his desire to increase diversity. He testified that he “was on constant alert to recruit more women, blacks, and Asians to the state police detail.” When a local newspaper began asking questions about the arrangement, the governor’s top aide, Melissa DeRosa, angrily accused the paper’s editor of launching a “sexist” inquiry.

8) Brotherly Luv Guv

The report confirms previous reports that CNN anchor Chris Cuomo was among the “team of advisors” who frequently counseled the governor after allegations of sexual misconduct were made public. The report expresses concern that Chris Cuomo and others were not “officially retained” yet were “regularly provided with confidential and often privileged information about state operations and helped make decisions that impacted state business and employees.”

9) Eliot Spitzer’s ex-lover

Also listed as an unofficial damage control adviser to the governor is Lis Smith, the ex-lover of disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer (D., N.Y.), who was married at the time of their relationship. She most recently served as senior communications director for Pete Buttigieg’s failed presidential campaign.