{"id":626403,"date":"2021-08-09T16:06:35","date_gmt":"2021-08-09T20:06:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=626403"},"modified":"2021-08-09T16:06:38","modified_gmt":"2021-08-09T20:06:38","slug":"guest-column-yeah-i-threw-myself-a-massive-party-at-my-island-estate-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic-and-theres-nothing-you-worthless-plebs-can-do-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/guest-column-yeah-i-threw-myself-a-massive-party-at-my-island-estate-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic-and-theres-nothing-you-worthless-plebs-can-do-about-it\/","title":{"rendered":"GUEST COLUMN: Yeah, I Threw Myself a Massive Party at My Island Estate in the Middle of a Pandemic, And There\u2019s Nothing You Worthless Plebs Can Do About It"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">58<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fguest-column-yeah-i-threw-myself-a-massive-party-at-my-island-estate-in-the-middle-of-a-pandemic-and-theres-nothing-you-worthless-plebs-can-do-about-it%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=626403&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/obama-bday1-e1628538649160.jpg\" class=\"ff-og-image-inserted\" \/><\/div>\n<p>MARTHA&#8217;S VINEYARD \u2014 If you&#8217;re reading this, you probably aren&#8217;t important enough to be invited to the massive party I just threw myself to celebrate my historic existence and countless intellectual contributions to the human canon.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re all pretty hungover, to be honest. Between LeBron&#8217;s tequila (a little underwhelming, like his NBA Finals record), Willie Nelson&#8217;s choom plug, and Hunter Biden&#8217;s &#8220;rocket sauce,&#8221; we partied pretty hard. If I wasn&#8217;t a multimillionaire who can afford to hire an army of professional cleaners, my island estate would be a mess. I bought the place from a Democratic donor for $11.75 million in December 2019. Today, it&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zillow.com\/homedetails\/79-Turkeyland-Cove-Rd-Edgartown-MA-02539\/56026869_zpid\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">worth<\/a> more than $17.5 million. Happy Birthday to me!<\/p>\n<p>Yeah, I know about the global pandemic. I just don&#8217;t care. What are you worthless plebs going to do about it? Complain about it to all your celebrity friends? Didn&#8217;t think so. Think the media will care? Good luck finding a journalist who didn&#8217;t vote for me (twice). I spent more on private security for a single party than you&#8217;ll make in a lifetime. My stable of financial consultants is bigger than your broke ass family, cousins and all. Think I&#8217;m &#8220;above the law&#8221;? Nah, I <em>am<\/em> the law.<\/p>\n<p>You think the party was &#8220;scaled back&#8221;? LOL. That was just an excuse to cull the guest list of undesirables. Do you know how important you have to be to get Jay-Z and Beyonc\u00e9 to show up at your birthday party? I wasn&#8217;t going to ruin the experience by having Ben Rhodes following me around all night like a traumatized puppy and whinging about the Iran nuclear deal like a total bitch. And don&#8217;t get me started on <a href=\"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/politics\/al-sharpton-obama-birthday\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Larry David<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>So enjoy your mask mandates and not being able to send your kids back to school in the fall. I hear the teachers&#8217; unions are opposed to mandatory vaccines. That&#8217;s f\u2014ing hilarious. Sometimes I wish I was still president so I could nominate Ibram X. Kendi for secretary of education. Think I care? I went to Columbia and Harvard, I just read an Ishiguro novel, and I&#8217;m finishing up the second volume of my bestselling memoir. Nah, just kidding. I&#8217;ve been too busy filling out my NCAA bracket, curating my summer playlist, and planning an epic birthday party for myself.<\/p>\n<p>Look, you tedious peasants, I&#8217;ll be straight with you. Your indignation at so-called &#8220;elites&#8221; flaunting their wealth and status during these difficult and uncertain times does not concern me. I&#8217;m just trying to enjoy myself and become the first ex-president to become a billionaire after leaving office. (So far, so good.) The way things are progressing with technology, I might even get rich enough to live forever, in which case I&#8217;ll be sure to throw myself another massive party. I&#8217;d really like to invite you, but I wouldn&#8217;t get your hopes up. You&#8217;ll probably be dead.<\/p>\n<p>Cry more, pleb.<\/p>\n<p>\ud83d\ude2d<\/p>\n<p><i>B. Hussein Obama was the 44th president of the United States. He is&nbsp;consistently ranked as one of the best presidents in American history according to a rating system that is total bullshit, but you idiots will believe anything, won&#8217;t you?&nbsp;<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>MARTHA&#8217;S VINEYARD \u2014 If you&#8217;re reading this, you probably aren&#8217;t important enough to be invited to the massive party I just threw myself to celebrate my historic existence and countless &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":2315279,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-626403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=626403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/626403\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2315279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=626403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=626403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=626403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}