{"id":369019,"date":"2021-04-01T13:45:36","date_gmt":"2021-04-01T17:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=369019"},"modified":"2021-04-01T13:45:39","modified_gmt":"2021-04-01T17:45:39","slug":"guest-column-im-so-sorry-this-is-happening-to-you-matt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/guest-column-im-so-sorry-this-is-happening-to-you-matt\/","title":{"rendered":"GUEST COLUMN: I\u2019m So Sorry This Is Happening to You, Matt"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"float:left\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">22<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fguest-column-im-so-sorry-this-is-happening-to-you-matt%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=369019&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/fb_image-125.jpeg\" class=\"ff-og-image-inserted\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Dear Matt,<\/p>\n<p>I hope this column finds you well and rested. I&#8217;m sorry we weren&#8217;t able to connect during your&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2021\/01\/28\/politics\/gaetz-cheney-rally-cheyenne-republican-reaction\/index.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">trip<\/a> to Wyoming in January, and I was sad to learn that your campaign to remove me from House Republican leadership was overwhelmingly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2021\/02\/03\/politics\/liz-cheney-house-republican-meeting\/index.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">defeated<\/a>.<\/p>\n<div class=\"posts-content__category-widget md:hidden -ml-4 -mr-4 my-8 px-4 py-6 bg-gray-100\">\n<h4 class=\"mt-0 text-red-600 font-medium font-sans uppercase\">Recent Stories in Satire<\/h4>\n<ul class=\"list-none p-0 \">\n<li class>\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"text-black block mb-3 pb-3 border-b border-white\" href=\"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/satire\/liz-cheney-matt-gaetz\/\"><strong>GUEST COLUMN: I&#8217;m So Sorry This Is Happening to You, Matt<\/strong><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n<li class>\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"text-black block mb-3 pb-3 border-b border-white\" href=\"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/satire\/joe-biden-bad-dog\/\"><strong>ANALYSIS: Biden&#8217;s Bloodthirsty, Floor-Pooping Canine Companion Is a Window Into His Soul<\/strong><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n<li class>\n\t\t\t\t<a class=\"text-black block mb-3 pb-3 border-b border-white\" href=\"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/satire\/andrew-cuomo-analysis\/\"><strong>ANALYSIS: Why Did It Take So Long for Andrew Cuomo&#8217;s Bad Behavior to Catch Up With Him?<\/strong><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<p>The truth is I&#8217;m ashamed at having waited so long to reach out. I&#8217;ve been a bad colleague and a bad friend.&nbsp;In light of recent developments, I wanted to extend my heartfelt condolences and offer you a shoulder to cry on, given your well-established reputation for having the emotional fortitude of a teenaged girl.<\/p>\n<p>(Forgive me, that was a poor choice of words under the circumstances.)<\/p>\n<p>In all seriousness, I am so sorry this is happening to you, Matt. I was devastated to learn you are the subject of a federal sex trafficking investigation involving &#8220;at least one&#8221; underage girl. That doesn&#8217;t sound like you. I heard you were interested in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thedailybeast.com\/republicans-have-been-waiting-for-a-matt-gaetz-scandal-to-break?ref=home\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">college girls<\/a>, and most of us in the GOP conference had always assumed you swung the other way.<\/p>\n<p>At least now you know why former attorney general Bill Barr was <a href=\"https:\/\/news.yahoo.com\/bill-barr-avoided-matt-gaetz-100040873.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">avoiding<\/a> you in the final months of Donald Trump&#8217;s presidency. It wasn&#8217;t because of your weird face, or the creepy &#8220;Florida Man&#8221; vibe. At least those weren&#8217;t the only reasons. I hope this realization helps you find solace in this difficult time.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sure you must be disappointed that only two of our House Republican colleagues have bothered to defend you against these troubling allegations. Don&#8217;t be discouraged, Matt. As you are well aware, given your preferences regarding age, sometimes less is more. With friends like Jim Jordan and Marjorie Taylor Greene in your corner, what could go wrong?<\/p>\n<p>Above all, don&#8217;t be ashamed to cry. I would simply suggest you remove all the makeup before letting it out, if you don&#8217;t want to make a mess. As a Cheney, I have no personal experience with being a wuss, but I know how much you admire Trump&#8217;s seasoned flair for the liberal application of facial bronzer.<\/p>\n<p>Your career in Congress might be over, but there&#8217;s no need to despair. So what if Fox News went out of its way to <a href=\"https:\/\/thehill.com\/homenews\/media\/545934-fox-has-no-interest-in-hiring-matt-gaetz?rl=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">declare<\/a> it has &#8220;no interest&#8221; in hiring you? You&#8217;ll have plenty of other opportunities. For example, you have the physical and moral attributes of someone who could make a killing selling reverse mortgages to dementia patients.<\/p>\n<p>Once again, I am so sorry this is happening to you, Matt. I&#8217;m here for you. My father is watching over you. He knows what it&#8217;s like to be despised by the liberal media. Even though your life will never be important enough to be the subject of an award-winning film, you are going to do just fine. You might even get rich. But please, for the love of God, don&#8217;t spend it all on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/nycsouthpaw\/status\/1377640423464783872\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">condoms<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Warmest regards,<\/p>\n<p>Representative Liz Cheney (R., Wyo.)<\/p>\n<div class=\"my-8 hide-print\">\n\t\t<!-- \/339474670\/Freebeacon\/InContent --><\/p>\n<div id=\"div-gpt-ad-1526555381173-4\" class=\"mobile-250 desktop-90\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Matt, I hope this column finds you well and rested. I&#8217;m sorry we weren&#8217;t able to connect during your\u00a0trip to Wyoming in January, and I was sad to learn &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2311523,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/fb_image-125.jpeg","fifu_image_alt":"GUEST COLUMN: I\u2019m So Sorry This Is Happening to You, Matt","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-369019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/fb_image-125.jpeg","fifu_image_alt":"GUEST COLUMN: I\u2019m So Sorry This Is Happening to You, Matt","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=369019"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/369019\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2311523"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=369019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=369019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=369019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}