{"id":2337745,"date":"2024-09-06T08:25:59","date_gmt":"2024-09-06T12:25:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/ideas-for-women-who-dont-want-to-end-up-childless\/"},"modified":"2024-09-06T08:43:48","modified_gmt":"2024-09-06T12:43:48","slug":"ideas-for-women-who-dont-want-to-end-up-childless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/ideas-for-women-who-dont-want-to-end-up-childless\/","title":{"rendered":"Ideas For Women Who Don&#8217;t Want To End Up Childless"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">20<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fideas-for-women-who-dont-want-to-end-up-childless%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=2337745&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><p>The article discusses the poignant reflections of Eugenia Cheng, a math Ph.D. who grapples with the emotional toll of sacrificing motherhood for her successful career. Cheng shares her story in The Wall Street Journal, expressing daily grief over her childlessness despite \u2063her achievements, including a\u2064 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/professor-of-color-says-he-was-denied-funding-for-insufficient-dedication-to-diversity-equity-inclusion\/\" title=\"Professor Of Color Says He Was Denied Funding For \u2018Insufficient\u2019 Dedication To Diversity, Equity, Inclusion\">tenure-track position<\/a> and being a professional pianist. She reveals that\u2064 despite undergoing multiple miscarriages and IVF cycles, she has not been able to hold her children. \u200bCheng attributes part of her inability to find a suitable partner for motherhood to the men she dated, claiming they felt intimidated by her accomplishments.<\/p>\n<p>The piece critiques the notion that\u2063 high-achieving women like Cheng can\u2064 effortlessly balance \u2063career \u200cand\u200c family\u200c aspirations. It notes that societal pressures and personal choices\u200c complicate this balance, and suggests that women need to demonstrate their desire for motherhood more explicitly to attract suitable partners. The author\u200b suggests that the\u200d focus on intellectual achievement\u200b in the \u2062<a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/marriage-makes-you-happier-better-and-more-successful-but-fewer-americans-are-even-willing-to-date\/\" title=\"Marriage Makes You Happier, Better, And More Successful But Fewer Americans Are Even Willing To Date\">dating pool<\/a> may detract from other qualities sought in a spouse, such as kindness and compatibility.<\/p>\n<p>The article also critiques the broader context of women\u2019s\u2063 choices influenced by feminism, arguing that many women sacrifice traditional\u2063 family roles for aspirations that\u200c don\u2019t always lead to \u2062fulfillment. It highlights the implications of the Sexual Revolution, positing that changing \u2063sexual norms have diminished men\u2019s incentives to marry, which complicates women\u2019s pursuit of family life. Ultimately, the piece paints a picture\u200d of a cultural landscape where the \u200bintersection\u2064 of career ambition and motherhood remains fraught with challenges, particularly for women in high-achievement contexts.  <\/p>\n<p class=\"readmore\">\n    <button onclick=\"showReadMore()\" id=\"readmorebtn\">Read more&#8230;<\/button>\n<\/p>\n<hr id=\"line\">\n<span id=\"more\"><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>A math Ph.D. in The Wall Street Journal agonizingly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.wsj.com\/lifestyle\/relationships\/i-am-childless-but-not-by-choice-730bfd68\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">sketched<\/a> out every high-IQ woman&rsquo;s life dilemma last weekend: Do you sacrifice motherhood to chase a world-class career? She did, and it broke her heart.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;In many ways, my life is what I always dreamed it would be, except for one glaring difference: I am not a mother. I wish I was. My childlessness is something I grieve every day,&rdquo; Eugenia Cheng writes.<\/p>\n<p>Cheng presents herself as a woman who tried to do everything right yet didn&rsquo;t get the one thing she wanted most: motherhood. Correction: Cheng is the mother of several children, although she doesn&rsquo;t specify how many she lost between the mentioned miscarriages and in vitro fertilization cycles. That&rsquo;s the norm with IVF. Only <a href=\"https:\/\/www.heritage.org\/life\/report\/why-the-ivf-industry-must-be-regulated\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">2 to 7 percent<\/a> of the children it generates live to birth.<\/p>\n<p>Like so many other women nobody knows have been mothers, Cheng grieves that she&rsquo;s never been able to hold her children. Fertility is one of those mystical things that constantly eludes human attempts to control and forces us to grapple with our helplessness and limits.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;I am now 48, too old to have any realistic hope of becoming pregnant again&mdash;not that that stops people from urging me to not &lsquo;give up hope,&rsquo;&rdquo; Cheng writes bitterly.<\/p>\n<p>Cheng says she pursued a career, &ldquo;not for its own sake,&rdquo; but because a &ldquo;partner&rdquo; to make babies with didn&rsquo;t arrive when she was &ldquo;25 and in my first full-time job[,] when I felt ready to have children.&rdquo; She essentially goes on to blame the men she dated for not feeling the biological pressure to settle down during the female fertility window, and for breaking up with her because she&rsquo;s too smart and credentialed.<\/p>\n<h2>Give Some Mother-Ready Vibes<\/h2>\n<p>I can&rsquo;t help but notice that Cheng describes her very top-flight career achievements &mdash; tenure-track mathematics Ph.D., professional pianist, author of several popular books &mdash; in the passive tense, as if she didn&rsquo;t have to very actively pursue them.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;While I searched for a life partner, my career kept advancing. I got several degrees, landed postdoctoral positions around the world and won tenure in mathematics at the University of Sheffield in Britain.&rdquo; &ldquo;My career kept advancing&rdquo;? Careers like that don&rsquo;t just <em>happen<\/em>. They are pushed by very driven people. So I couldn&rsquo;t help but wonder if Cheng put quite as much effort into telegraphing, &ldquo;I want to be a wife and mother!&rdquo; as she did into telegraphing, &ldquo;I am a kick-butt career woman!&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>I wonder that because, 18 months into dating my then-boyfriend, he had to ask if I even wanted children, because he couldn&rsquo;t tell. I knew he was actually asking if we should get married, so I said yes to get him, and that all worked out very well. But it would have been better if I had given him clear indications, say, 18 months before he had to <em>ask<\/em>. If men can&rsquo;t tell you want children, you may be more inclined to attract men who don&rsquo;t.<\/p>\n<p>Type A women like us have to learn how to give off &ldquo;future mother&rdquo; vibes just like we learn to give off &ldquo;future Ph.D.&rdquo; vibes to graduate schools. This will be vilified, but activities like cooking, wearing feminine clothing, expressing love for children, and spending time volunteering in your community seem reasonable to suggest to women who <em>do <\/em>want to be a wives and mothers.<\/p>\n<p>Dog-whistle, not for one-night stands with cads, but for good providers who want a happy home. Maybe even outright whistle! Consider making it a train toot! Men are not always sensitive enough to pick up <em>very <\/em>tiny clues!<\/p>\n<h2>The White-Collar Dating Pool Prioritizes Resumes<\/h2>\n<p>Quoting her exes, Cheng claims several men also found her success too intimidating. She was so amazing they couldn&rsquo;t stand to marry her. While one might chalk that up to the cover statements every person gives when breaking up &mdash; &ldquo;It&rsquo;s me, not you!&rdquo; &mdash; let&rsquo;s just assume the claim is accurate.<\/p>\n<p>Beyond the &ldquo;boss bitch&rdquo; vibes such a career gives off, another problem could have been her dating pool. High-IQ knowledge workers, and the greater number who pretend they are, often treat intellect as if it&rsquo;s the only measure of worth. That&rsquo;s preposterous, and plenty of men maintain other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/trump-may-announce-vp-pick-before-debate-report-washington-examiner\/\" title=\"Trump may announce VP pick before debate: Report - Washington Examiner\">top criteria<\/a> for a spouse, such as kindness, homemaking skills, compatibility, sense of humor, patience, and so on. One will find more of such men in conservative and especially religious social circles, which encourage lasting virtues above <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/media-say-bidens-female-led-comms-is-a-first-trump-has-that-now\/\" title=\"Media Say Biden&#039;s Female-Led Comms Is A First. Trump Has That Now\">lower-level<\/a>, materialist criteria such as earning power and natural beauty.<\/p>\n<p>Cheng may have had better luck dating blue-collar guys with good incomes, like a construction foreman or plumbing company owner. But women like her don&rsquo;t often meet men like that unless they go to church regularly. That&rsquo;s a downstream effect of the loss of religious commitment among Americans. People who don&rsquo;t go to church basically have bars and workplaces to find friends and potential mates. The &ldquo;Bowling Alone&rdquo; decline of social networks really sucks when you can&rsquo;t find a spouse and really want one, a situation that fits increasing numbers of Americans.<\/p>\n<p>Now, in one way, Cheng&rsquo;s is a minority dilemma. That&rsquo;s because the vast majority of women are neither interested in nor suited for getting a Ph.D. Yet the feminist mindset keeps pushing this dilemma on all women as if we all face a real choice between becoming a Supreme Court justice and motherhood. Projecting a dilemma only faced by a tiny minority of women onto <em>all <\/em>women is essentially the point of the feminist movement.<\/p>\n<p>If most women knew they were sacrificing the freedom, provision, and safety of full-time mothering to be a gypped gas station attendant or &ldquo;Office Space&rdquo;-style paper-pusher, far more would choose full-time motherhood. To make it easier for <em>themselves <\/em>to reach the C-suite and the Oval Office, elite women sell their lower-class sisters glamorous false promises of &ldquo;Boss Babe.&rdquo; This is another reason we should reject feminism: it damages women.<\/p>\n<h2>How to Bolster Yourself Against the Sexual Revolution<\/h2>\n<p>Another part of Cheng&rsquo;s situation besides the lack of broad social networking opportunities is also now common to all women. It&rsquo;s the no-win outcome of the Sexual Revolution: women must either have sex with men before marriage or the men can easily find other women who will.<\/p>\n<p>The post-Pill expectation that women will make sex an infertile act obviously eliminates a major motivation for men to pop the question. If the men Cheng dated in her 20s and 30s couldn&rsquo;t get sex aside from accepting the responsibilities of husbandry &mdash; which include fatherhood &mdash; I&rsquo;d bet $10,000 she would have secured a man before her fertility window closed.<\/p>\n<p>Lowering the likelihood that sex will produce a baby lowers men&rsquo;s commitment to the act signaling one will accept responsibility for a baby and her mother: marriage. In short, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationalreview.com\/2014\/07\/contraception-kills-donna-harrison\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">abortifacients<\/a> plus hoes brutalize women&rsquo;s sexual bargaining power. This leaves women with a much-degraded ability to secure important things they want from sex: economic and familial security.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, men also get economic and familial security from marriage, as married men earn more, reach higher career zeniths, are happier, and live longer. But those benefits are less obvious and require a longer timeframe than the benefits women and children get from marriage, which usually begin accruing much earlier.<\/p>\n<p>This is one major negative effect of America&rsquo;s leaders deciding to kill Christianity as a social norm. It&rsquo;s also another way in which people who participate in the life of a local church dramatically increase their chances of finding a spouse while they still are physically capable of procreation. Pastors, congregations, denominations, and Holy Scripture itself all stand behind women who say, &ldquo;I&rsquo;d love to have sex with you, but I can&rsquo;t unless we&rsquo;re married.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>These now-derided institutions empower a woman to resist the beguiling pressure a man may place on her to put out before she gets that ring. They give women the bargaining power they need to obtain what most really want: first love, then marriage, and next the grand adventure of raising a baby.<\/p>\n<hr>\n<p>      Joy Pullmann is executive editor of The Federalist. Her new book with Regnery is &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/bookshop.org\/p\/books\/false-colors-the-flag-of-our-occupation-joy-pullmann\/20707173?ean=9781684515875\">False Flag: Why Queer Politics Mean the End of America<\/a>.&#8221;  A happy wife and the mother of six children, her ebooks include &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/payhip.com\/b\/R1JL\">Classic Books For Young Children<\/a>,&#8221; and &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/payhip.com\/b\/a2Jzp\">101 Strategies For Living Well Amid Inflation<\/a>.&#8221;      An 18-year education and politics reporter, Joy has testified before nearly two dozen legislatures on education policy and appeared on major media including Tucker Carlson, CNN, Fox News, OANN, NewsMax, Ben Shapiro, and Dennis Prager. Joy is a grateful graduate of the Hillsdale College honors and journalism programs who identifies as native American and gender natural.  Joy is also the cofounder of a high-performing Christian classical school and the author and coauthor of classical curricula.    Her traditionally published books also include &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Education-Invasion-Parents-Control-American\/dp\/1594038813\/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1486730068&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=education+invasion\">The Education Invasion: How Common Core Fights Parents for Control of American Kids<\/a>,&#8221; from Encounter Books.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, a math Ph.D. shared the painful struggle faced by many high-IQ women: the choice between pursuing a prestigious career and becoming a mother. She chose her career, which left her heartbroken. Eugenia Cheng expressed that while her life has many of the elements she always desired, there is one significant absence\u2014motherhood. &#8220;I wish I was [a mother]. My childlessness is something I grieve every day,&#8221; she wrote.<\/p>\n<p>Cheng portrays herself as someone who aimed to do everything right but ultimately did not achieve her deepest desire: to be a mother. Although she has experienced multiple pregnancies through miscarriages and in vitro fertilization (IVF), she does not specify how many children she lost during this process; it&#8217;s worth noting that only 2 to 7 percent of IVF attempts result in live births.<\/p>\n<p>Like many women who have faced similar losses, Cheng mourns the fact that she has never been able to hold her children. Fertility remains an elusive aspect of life that often highlights human limitations and helplessness. At 48 years old, Cheng feels too old for any realistic hope of pregnancy again, despite others encouraging her not to &#8220;give up hope.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She explains that her pursuit of a career was driven by necessity rather than ambition alone; when she was ready for motherhood at age 25 and starting her first full-time job, the right partner had yet to appear. Cheng suggests that some men were intimidated by her success or felt pressured by their own expectations regarding family planning.<\/p>\n<p>Interestingly, while detailing her impressive accomplishments\u2014a tenure-track position in mathematics, professional pianist status, and several published books\u2014Cheng uses passive language as if these achievements came without much effort on her part. This raises questions about whether she communicated clearly about wanting marriage and motherhood alongside showcasing herself as an accomplished professional.<\/p>\n<p>Women like Cheng may need to consciously project &#8220;future mother&#8221; vibes just as they do with their academic ambitions if they wish to attract partners interested in family life rather than solely focusing on careers.<\/p>\n<p>Cheng also mentions how some men found it difficult to consider marrying someone so successful; however, this could also reflect broader issues within dating culture where intellect is overly prioritized over other qualities like kindness or compatibility\u2014traits more commonly valued within conservative or religious circles where lasting relationships are encouraged.<\/p>\n<p>The decline of social networks due to reduced religious commitment means fewer opportunities for women like Cheng to meet potential partners outside typical environments such as bars or workplaces\u2014a situation increasingly common among Americans seeking spouses.<\/p>\n<p>While Cheng&#8217;s experience may represent a minority dilemma since most women aren&#8217;t pursuing Ph.D.s or high-powered careers\u2014and thus don&#8217;t face such stark choices\u2014the feminist narrative often generalizes this issue across all women&#8217;s experiences.<\/p>\n<p>If more women recognized what they might be sacrificing for less fulfilling jobs instead of full-time motherhood\u2014which offers security and fulfillment\u2014they might reconsider their paths influenced by elite women&#8217;s portrayals of success through concepts like &#8220;Boss Babe.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Additionally, another challenge stemming from societal changes post-Sexual Revolution is the pressure on women either to engage sexually before marriage or risk losing out on potential partners altogether since men can easily find alternatives willing without commitment.<\/p>\n<p>This shift diminishes men&#8217;s motivation toward marriage when sex no longer implies responsibility for parenthood\u2014a dynamic exacerbated by modern contraceptive methods which separate sexual activity from its natural consequences.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately though both genders benefit from marriage economically and emotionally over time\u2014the immediate advantages tend toward mothers and children who gain stability sooner after tying the knot.<\/p>\n<p>Religious institutions historically provided support structures empowering women against pressures surrounding premarital intimacy while reinforcing traditional values around love leading into family formation\u2014an approach increasingly absent today amidst changing cultural norms.<\/p>\n<p>Joy Pullmann serves as executive editor at The Federalist with extensive experience reporting on education policy alongside being an author focused primarily upon issues affecting families today including those related directly towards educational systems impacting youth development overall throughout America\u2019s landscape currently evolving rapidly under various influences shaping society moving forward into future generations ahead still yet unwritten entirely still awaiting discovery unfolding gradually revealing itself piece-by-piece along way ahead!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":519,"featured_media":2337746,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/thefederalist.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/42206590561_bf93f9cd49_k.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[546],"tags":[34488,40284,40283,38552,36600],"class_list":["post-2337745","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-federalist","tag-family-planning","tag-life-decisions","tag-parenting-choices","tag-personal-development","tag-women-empowerment"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/thefederalist.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/42206590561_bf93f9cd49_k.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2337745","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/519"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2337745"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2337745\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2337746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2337745"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2337745"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2337745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}