{"id":2185961,"date":"2024-02-25T05:19:02","date_gmt":"2024-02-25T10:19:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/from-a-broken-home-to-a-broken-institution\/"},"modified":"2024-02-25T05:27:52","modified_gmt":"2024-02-25T10:27:52","slug":"from-a-broken-home-to-a-broken-institution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/from-a-broken-home-to-a-broken-institution\/","title":{"rendered":"From home to institution, both broken"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"float:left\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">12<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Ffrom-a-broken-home-to-a-broken-institution%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=2185961&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><h2>Review: Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class<\/h2>\n<h3>A Refreshing Take on Memoir-Writing<\/h3>\n<blockquote>\n<p>When someone emerges from a challenging childhood to become a \u200bsuccessful adult and writes a\u2062 memoir about the experience, one of two narratives usually emerges: The first, and most lucrative in today\u2019s\u200b market, is \u2062what might be called the &#8220;wallowing&#8221; narrative. Such books settle personal and familial scores; recount excessive drug use, promiscuity, and other poor life choices; and leave readers \u200cwith a voyeurism hangover.<\/p>\n<p>The second approach tells a tale of plucky courage and upward mobility, with the memoirist expressing gratitude for having\u2063 been one of the \u2062&#8221;lucky ones,&#8221; who rose from chaos into order and is now eager to impart practical life lessons to others. This is\u200d the \u200d&#8221;inspirational bootstraps&#8221; narrative.<\/p>\n<p>In <i>Troubled: A Memoir\u2064 of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class<\/i>, Rob Henderson does neither. Instead, he makes a crucial contribution not only to the modern art of memoir-writing, but \u2062to ongoing\u200c debates about class, merit, \u2062and success in the United States.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>Henderson could easily have taken the wallowing\u200d path: One of his\u200d earliest memories, at the age of three, is of \u200dclinging \u2062to \u200dhis <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/oscar-winner-viola-davis-says-in-hollywood-you-have-to-be-a-black-version-of-a-white-ideal-or-white-to-succeed\/\" title=\"Oscar Winner Viola Davis Says in Hollywood You Have to Be a 'Black Version of a White Ideal' or White to Succeed\">drug-addicted mother<\/a> as police officers handcuff and cart her away\u2062 to jail. He\u2062 had been abused by her and never saw her again; \u200che never knew\u2063 his father. Placed into the California foster care system, he is moved \u2064from home to home, neglected physically and emotionally by his various caregivers, until finally being adopted by a family of Seventh Day Adventists in\u200c Red \u200cBluff, California.<\/p>\n<p>This family\u2014Mom, Dad, and little sister,\u200b Hannah\u2014offered young Rob his first taste \u2063of stability and, perhaps most important, a father figure. But it did not last\u2014the parents split after about a year. As Henderson recalls it, he was the least shocked among them that this\u2062 happened: &#8220;None \u200dof my other families\u2062 lasted. In the past, I\u2019d \u200dalways considered other kids \u2063who had \u2018real\u2019 parents to be unusual. I saw them on TV, but those images did not reflect my life.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After his father moves out, Mom embarks on a\u2063 relationship with a woman, Shelly, who, despite \u200cher gambling addiction and troubled relationship with her own children from her previous marriage, becomes an important person in Henderson\u2019s life and, at least for a time, a stable parenting figure. Eventually, after \u200cShelly is shot and endures a difficult recovery, and the couple\u2019s financial situation becomes more precarious, \u2063they, too, leave, moving to San Jose while \u200bRob finishes high school in Red Bluff, where he lives in a\u200b friend\u2019s house \u200c(Hannah\u2062 moves in with her\u2062 father; Rob\u2019s mother and Shelly later split up).<\/p>\n<p>This new\u2064 living situation, coinciding with \u200badolescence, proves a dangerous environment for a boy who had known little \u200dbut instability for most of his life.\u2062 His friend\u2019s father, although present in \u200bthe \u2064home, is &#8220;an extremely laissez-faire \u200bparent&#8221; in Henderson\u2019s telling, and \u2063his descriptions of the reckless, violent, and destructive behavior \u2064he and his friends engaged in during this time is\u2064 harrowing.<\/p>\n<p>Henderson describes these years with cool detachment, which, we find out later, was\u2062 how \u2063the author himself learned to \u2063cope with the circumstances of his young life. &#8220;If I had \u200bto reduce what I felt during those early childhood years to a single\u200d word,&#8221;\u2064 he writes, &#8220;the\u2063 only one I can think of is: dread. Dread of being caught stealing, dread of punishment, dread of suddenly being moved somewhere \u200delse.&#8221; By the time Henderson is a teenager, he begins to\u2062 recognize other feelings. &#8220;For \u200bas long as I could \u200dremember,\u2062 I \u200cfelt \u2062a constant undercurrent\u200b of throbbing rage, along with anxiety and shame (which I sometimes mistook for rage) for being abandoned, for being unwanted. But I was \u2062incapable of understanding it or communicating it.&#8221; Henderson describes\u2063 high school friends who end up in jail or hospitalized after a brutal fight, and one who thoughtlessly kicks a\u2064 dog over a cliff. This random violence and destruction was not unusual in the world in which he grew up\u2014it was common.<\/p>\n<p>Even after finding some\u200c stability with\u2063 his adoptive family \u2064and, later, with Mom and \u2062Shelly, equilibrium was difficult to achieve for Henderson, as most of the people he knew also lived lives of chaos. &#8220;One of my other good friends, John, and his brother Tom lived with their dad, who had been divorced five times,&#8221;\u2062 Henderson writes. Other fathers and brothers and stepfathers were absent, in prison, or inconstant in their attention to their children, and\u2063 mothers cycled through different partners, boyfriends, and husbands, having several\u200b children by different men.<\/p>\n<p>Henderson was not without\u2062 inner resources, however. Reading opened a new\u200d world\u200d to him, and beginning in elementary school, he devoured books: &#8220;This was a milestone\u200b in my life. From \u2063then on reading \u2062became a source of comfort for me \u2026 reading was an escape\u2014from\u2062 my memories, from my foster families, \u200bfrom my feelings.&#8221; As he got older,\u200b he read biographies of people such as Bruce Lee, \u200cDwayne &#8220;The Rock&#8221; Johnson, and Muhammad Ali. Along the way, a few teachers and other stable adults in Henderson\u2019s \u2063life recognized \u200bhis intelligence and encouraged him to think beyond the pathologies of Red Bluff.<\/p>\n<p>Henderson joined the Air Force right out of high school after he &#8220;realized the path I was on had nothing but a tragic ending&#8221; and believing that &#8220;the military was\u2063 my only lifeline.&#8221; This is a hinge moment in his personal history: \u200cHe thrives within the order imposed\u2064 by military life and is recognized \u2062for his hard work\u2062 and intelligence. &#8220;The military helped to unlock my potential,&#8221; he writes, &#8220;because it provided a structured environment, a sharp contrast with the drama and disorder of my youth.\u2062 I was surrounded by supportive people who\u200d wanted me to succeed. In this new environment, I gradually came to realize that my childhood was anomalous, and I \u200bdidn\u2019t \u2064have to let it define the rest of my life.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He begins to understand what was missing from\u200b his\u2064 life, but present in the lives of others, particularly peers who had\u200b stable family homes: &#8220;I learned that so much of success depends not on \u200bwhat \u200cpeople do, but \u200cwhat they don\u2019t do. It\u2019s about avoiding rash and reckless actions that will land us in trouble.&#8221; Stable families are crucial.<\/p>\n<p>Yet \u2062Henderson\u2019s \u200dpositive experience in the military did\u200c not entirely extinguish the fallout of his\u2063 chaotic \u2064childhood. &#8220;Being in a bad environment doesn\u2019t eliminate all the good \u200cparts of you,&#8221; he observes, &#8220;and being in a good \u2063environment doesn\u2019t eliminate all the bad parts \u2064of you.&#8221; The demons lingered, and \u200cself-medicating with alcohol didn\u2019t help. He writes movingly of this tortuous process, and the challenge of telling his\u2062 mom and sister about \u200bit. Eventually he lands in rehab and finds a therapist who helps him\u2064 excavate his\u200b feelings \u2063and dismantle the unhealthy protective mechanisms he\u2019d built \u2062up to survive. Afterwards, he is admitted as an undergraduate to Yale University and, later, to Cambridge for graduate school\u2014a happy ending to a tumultuous early life.<\/p>\n<p>Two radical ideas are buried in Henderson\u2019s book. Both upend the assumptions of people across\u200c the political spectrum and make this book more far-reaching than your typical childhood trauma memoir.<\/p>\n<p>The first is that education is not \u2062a prime escape from challenging circumstances\u2014families matter more. &#8220;As someone with more education than I ever expected I\u2019d receive, maybe I\u2019m more qualified to say we give\u2062 education\u2064 more \u2063importance than we should,&#8221;\u2062 Henderson writes. &#8220;I\u2019ve come to understand that a warm and\u200c loving family is worth infinitely more than the \u200dmoney or credentials I hoped might compensate for \u200dthem.&#8221; He says he would \u200dswap his educational achievements in a heartbeat for \u2062the opportunity \u200dfor a\u2064 stable childhood. &#8220;A solid, two-parent home is critical for a \u2062child\u2019s future,&#8221; he notes. &#8220;There is simply no shortcut.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Henderson takes issue with the \u2063idea that education is the best path out of instability and economic hardship because it puts the \u2064cart before the horse, if you will. &#8220;Unstable environments\u2064 and unreliable caregivers aren\u2019t bad for children because they reduce their future odds of getting into\u200d college or making a living,&#8221; he argues. &#8220;They are bad because\u2063 the children enduring them experience pain\u2014pain that etches itself into their bodies and brains and propels them to do things in the pursuit of\u200c relief that often inflict even more harm.&#8221; He adds, &#8220;Credentials and money are not antidotes\u200d to the lingering effects of childhood maltreatment&#8221; and &#8220;elites are simply too quick to equate education with well-being.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The second radical idea, gleaned \u200bfrom his time at Yale, is that the people who control a great deal of our cultural and political conversations are \u200ba rarified elite with little understanding\u200d of how most people live their\u200c lives. They suffer from what Henderson calls &#8220;luxury beliefs,&#8221; that is, &#8220;ideas and opinions that confer status on the \u2062upper class at little cost, \u2063while often \u200dinflicting costs on\u2062 the lower \u2062classes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A few examples of such beliefs include declaring marriage and monogamy pass\u00e9 while marrying and \u200bmaintaining stable families themselves; demanding the defunding\u2064 of police while living in safe neighborhoods; and calling for \u2064the legalization of drugs while ignorant of the dangerous downstream effects of such a policy. As Henderson notes, in a dramatic understatement, &#8220;Many affluent people now promote lifestyles that are \u2064harmful to the \u200cless\u200b fortunate.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Henderson argues that such beliefs have\u200d flourished in \u200bpart because status can no longer be signaled entirely by <i>things<\/i>. It \u200dmust be signaled through <i>ideas<\/i>, which themselves are a proxy\u2063 for an elite education. &#8220;The affluent have \u200cdecoupled social status from goods\u2063 and reattached it to beliefs,&#8221; he writes, and top universities are &#8220;crucial for induction into the luxury belief class.&#8221; It is only the rich who can afford to spend four years learning the special status signaling of\u200d words such as &#8220;cisgender&#8221; or &#8220;heteronormative.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And the people on \u2063Ivy League campuses are wealthier\u200d and more well-protected from the harm of those ideas than in previous eras. \u200bHenderson writes, &#8220;At \u200bYale, more students \u2063come\u200d from the top 1 percent of income than from the bottom 60 percent.&#8221; A telling moment occurred when\u2064 his mom and sister came to New Haven for his graduation, only to realize they couldn\u2019t afford to eat at any of the restaurants around campus, which had inflated prices and issued &#8220;set menus&#8221; for graduation weekend, knowing that most wealthy Yale parents wouldn\u2019t blink at \u200dpaying $120-per-person for a meal.<\/p>\n<p>And yet, as\u2062 Henderson discovered, &#8220;conspicuously lamenting systemic disadvantage seemed to serve as both a signal and reinforcer of membership in this rarified group of future elites.&#8221; Many also assiduously downplay their wealth. &#8220;More than one student quietly confessed to me that they pretended to be poorer than they really were, because they\u2062 didn\u2019t want the \u200dstigma of being thought rich,&#8221; Henderson writes. Instead, they raise their status &#8220;by talking about \u200ctheir privilege,&#8221; an ironic posture given that, as Henderson correctly notes, &#8220;when policies are implemented to combat white privilege, it won\u2019t be Yale graduates who are \u2062harmed. Poor white\u2062 people will\u2062 bear the brunt.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In another clarifying moment, Henderson recalls his confusion over the \u200cuproar \u2063on Yale\u2019s campus about students possibly wearing offensive Halloween \u200ccostumes\u2014and professors who argued that students\u2019 sensitivities were too extreme. &#8220;A student from Greenwich, Connecticut, who had attended Phillips Exeter Academy (an expensive private boarding school), explained that I was too privileged to understand the pain these professors had caused,&#8221; Henderson writes. He diplomatically calls these &#8220;inept ideas,&#8221; but later lowers the boom:\u200d &#8220;Many students seemed to be exploiting whatever commonalities they had with\u200c historically mistreated groups in order to serve their own personal, social, and\u200b professional interests.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As\u200d an outsider, Henderson sees things that his classmates cannot (Henderson endeared\u2063 himself to this reviewer forever when, after being told \u2062by his Yale classmates that he <i>must<\/i> watch <i>The West Wing<\/i>, he reports, &#8220;As I worked my way through \u2062the first season, I had an \u200duncomfortable realization: <i>The West Wing<\/i> is not very good&#8221;). Some \u2062of the hypocrisies\u2064 Henderson catalogs\u2063 would\u2064 be\u200b the \u200cstuff of \u2064parody, if they weren\u2019t in fact real: The parade of students who\u2064 told Henderson &#8220;investment\u2063 banks were emblematic of capitalist oppression,&#8221; only for him \u2062to discover &#8220;they\u2019d attended recruitment sessions for Goldman \u200bSachs.&#8221; \u2063The students who mocked \u2062a Korean refugee who \u2064attended Columbia\u200b University and who had raised concerns about the anti-free speech environment\u2063 on her campus, only to be told repeatedly to &#8220;go back to Pyongyang&#8221; on a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/dar-patriots-fight-to-defend-historic-womens-society-from-men-pretending-to-be-ladies\/\" title=\"DAR Patriots defend women's society from men posing as ladies.\">social\u200b media site<\/a> for Ivy League students.<\/p>\n<p>As Henderson astutely notes, &#8220;Ordinarily, the people who visited this \u2064webpage would have considered the statement that a refugee\u2063 should have stayed where she came from to be reprehensible (and it is). But in this instance it \u200dwas lauded \u2062because Park\u2019s comments undermined these people\u2019s view of themselves as morally righteous.&#8221; So, too, another startling thing \u200bthat Henderson mentions only in passing\u2014the fact that &#8220;a Yale dean emailed me asking whether I would be \u2018gentle\u2019 in my discussion of the university&#8221; when they found out he was writing a book about his experiences.<\/p>\n<p>Toward the \u200dend, Henderson acknowledges that he wrote the book not to disparage \u2064his education,\u2062 for which he is grateful, but with the hope that it\u200b might\u200d help children like him realize they are not alone. There is no reason to doubt\u2063 Henderson\u2019s sincerity on this score, and his story has frank and useful advice for just such a reader. But one could argue that there is \u2062another group that would benefit as much if not more\u2063 from reading it: the elite. This group is in dire need of the \u2064common-sense observations \u2064that Henderson makes throughout his book, most notably, that &#8220;in\u2062 order to avoid misery we have to admit that certain actions and choices are actually\u200b in\u2063 and of themselves undesirable\u2014single parenthood, obesity, substance abuse, crime, and so on\u2014and not simply in need of normalization.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Henderson doesn\u2019t fault institutions such as Yale for their\u200c role in perpetuating luxury beliefs, and I would\u2063 have liked to hear his analysis of how institutions themselves sustain these hypocrisies by rewarding them in their students. Gentle or not, chapters 10 and 11, which cover Henderson\u2019s time at Yale, should, as several reviewers have noted, be required reading for\u200c entering \u200bstudents at Ivy Plus\u200d colleges. \u200cIt is a surgical evisceration, performed\u200d in \u200ban even-handed way, of the class pretensions of the country\u2019s most\u2063 wealthy and educated people. And it is devastating. &#8220;Many of the people who \u2062wield the most influence in society have isolated themselves \u2062and their children\u200d from\u2063 the world\u200b I \u200cgrew up in, while paying lip service to the challenges of inequality.&#8221; He\u2019s\u200c right. By puncturing the pretensions of those luxury beliefs\u2014while telling an engrossing and heartbreaking tale of childhood\u2014Henderson demands\u2063 that we stop ignoring the effects such beliefs have had on individuals and on society.<\/p>\n<p><em>Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social\u2064 Class<\/em><br \/>  by Rob Henderson<br \/> \u200b Gallery Books, 336 pp., $28.99<\/p>\n<p><em>Christine Rosen \u2064is a senior fellow at the American\u200d Enterprise Institute<\/em><\/p>\n<p> <\/p>\n<h2> In what ways does Henderson&#8217;s memoir address the disconnection between the wealthy and educated elite and the realities of everyday life, and how do\u200d these &#8220;luxury beliefs&#8221; perpetuate inequalities<\/h2>\n<p><span>  Only to\u200c share\u200c his personal story, but to challenge the prevailing narratives about class, education, and success. He criticizes the &#8220;wallowing&#8221; narrative that glorifies personal trauma and \u2064the &#8220;inspirational bootstraps&#8221; narrative that oversimplifies \u2064upward \u2064mobility. Instead, Henderson \u200demphasizes the importance \u200cof stable families and the detrimental effects of childhood instability. He also\u2062 highlights the disconnection between the elite and the realities of \u2062everyday life, arguing that the wealthy and educated often hold &#8220;luxury beliefs&#8221; that perpetuate \u200cinequalities. Henderson&#8217;s memoir offers a refreshing take on the genre, encouraging readers to reconsider their assumptions about social class and merit.<\/p>\n<p>In\u2063 conclusion, &#8220;Troubled: A Memoir\u2064 of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class&#8221; by Rob Henderson stands out among\u2062 memoirs for its <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/just-in-time\/\" title=\"JIT\">thought-provoking perspective<\/a> and critique of societal\u200c narratives. Through his personal experiences, Henderson challenges readers to reevaluate the importance of stable families and\u200b the limitations of\u200d education in overcoming\u2064 adversity. He also exposes the disconnect \u2062between the elite\u200d and everyday life, shedding light on the harmful implications of &#8220;luxury \u2063beliefs.&#8221; This \u2063book serves as \u200da valuable contribution to memoir-writing and sparks important conversations about class, merit, and success in the United \u200cStates.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When a person overcomes a difficult childhood and pens a memoir, two narratives often arise: The first, more profitable today, is the &#8220;wallowing&#8221; narrative. These books settle personal scores, detailing excessive drug use, promiscuity, and other vices. The second narrative focuses on resilience, growth, and triumph over adversity, offering inspiration to readers<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":816,"featured_media":2185962,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Untitled-design-26.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[544],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2185961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-free-beacon"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/freebeacon.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/Untitled-design-26.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2185961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/816"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2185961"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2185961\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2185962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2185961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2185961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2185961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}