{"id":2171201,"date":"2024-02-08T12:56:02","date_gmt":"2024-02-08T17:56:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/its-going-to-be-ok-jocko-willink-on-dealing-with-sadness-and-forgiving-yourself\/"},"modified":"2024-02-08T12:56:02","modified_gmt":"2024-02-08T17:56:02","slug":"its-going-to-be-ok-jocko-willink-on-dealing-with-sadness-and-forgiving-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/its-going-to-be-ok-jocko-willink-on-dealing-with-sadness-and-forgiving-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018It\u2019s Going To Be OK\u2019: Jocko Willink On Dealing With Sadness And Forgiving Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">28<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fits-going-to-be-ok-jocko-willink-on-dealing-with-sadness-and-forgiving-yourself%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=2171201&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The following is a transcript excerpt from Dr. Jordan Peterson\u2019s conversation with Jocko Willink on accepting sadness but knowing it will be ok, setting yourself back on the right track, learning from mistakes, forgiving yourself, and making the best decision with the information you have at the time. You can <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/podcasts\/the-jordan-b-peterson-podcast\/tbd-jocko-willink-ep-420\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">listen to<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> or <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/episode\/tbd-jocko-willink-ep-420\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">watch<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the full podcast episode on DailyWire+.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Start time: 3:56<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>Jordan B. Peterson:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Why do people come and see you [on your tour]? What is it that you\u2019re providing to people do you think?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Jocko Willink:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I think people want to come see me and want to connect with me in real life because they listen to my podcast a lot \u2014 so I think that has a lot to do with it. I\u2019m just up there sort of sharing experiences that I\u2019ve had, and I try and do the best I can in presenting the lessons that I\u2019ve learned. Really, one of the biggest lessons that I was talking about on this tour was: It\u2019s going to be ok.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Obviously, I deal with veterans a lot, law enforcement, and the whole PTSD that people have been going through and talking about for the last, I guess since the wars have been [going] on [for] the last 20 years. A lot of times someone would go through a traumatic experience and they\u2019d have bad feelings about it. They\u2019d have regrets about it. They\u2019d have things that they wish they would have done differently. And one of the main themes I was telling people during this tour was, that\u2019s totally normal and it\u2019s ok. It\u2019s ok to think, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I lost some friends, and sometimes I feel sad about it<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yes, of course, that\u2019s normal. That\u2019s fine. In fact, if you weren\u2019t sad about it, there may be something wrong. Because I think that people have been told for a while that if you\u2019re feeling sad there\u2019s something wrong with you \u2014 when I actually don\u2019t think there\u2019s anything wrong with when you feel sad. You feel sad? Yes, you lost friends. You\u2019re going to feel sad. You were in combat? You had to do some horrible things? You did some things that you regret? People make mistakes. Things don\u2019t turn out the way that they wanted them to. We made decisions and there was a bad result at the end of that decision. And instead of thinking, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">I\u2019m a terrible person<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">, no, it\u2019s like, you made a mistake and that\u2019s ok and you have got to move on.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/episode\/tbd-jocko-willink-ep-420\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">WATCH: The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast<\/a><\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><b>Jordan B. Peterson:\u00a0<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">That is the tricky part, I think, with regards to, say, post-traumatic stress disorder or regret, because it is one thing if you are sad because you have lost people; it is another thing if you are blaming yourself because you believe \u2014 and maybe with some cause \u2014 that you have made a mistake. Often, people do not know what to do about the fact that they have made a mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some people have made mistakes and are hanging themselves out to dry because of it, especially if they have made mistakes that have had fairly dramatic consequences. This ties in to the motif of forgiveness because there is not much difference between forgiving other people and forgiving yourself, and you cannot just do that by saying that you are going to do it. What I have observed clinically, and I think this works philosophically as well, is that what you want to do to set things right \u2014 which is to atone \u2014 is to lay out what you have done that you think was wrong. Provide yourself with the best possible defense.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">There is a reason in our legal system that we start with the presumption of innocence, which is a miracle. Tyrannies start with the presumption of guilt. The reason they do that is because everyone\u2019s done something wrong, and if you dig around enough in anyone\u2019s life, you will find a reason that they are culpable, a reason to put them away. So the fact that we presume innocence is a complete bloody miracle, and I cannot figure out how we ever managed to get that right. But you have to do that with yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Imagine you are taking yourself to task because you did some things wrong. List them out in your imagination or write it down. But then you have to defend yourself as thoroughly as you possibly can, which does not mean you are trying to get yourself off the hook; it means that you are trying not to take yourself apart more than is necessary. Then someone might ask, \u201cWell, if I have done something terrible, maybe what is necessary is that I commit suicide, that like I paid the ultimate price for my sins.\u201d People will do that when they are depressed, and that is not right because<\/span> <span style=\"font-weight: 400\">what you actually want to do to atone is to set yourself back on the right track.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So the precondition for forgiving yourself is, first of all, to sort out whether or not you are accusing yourself too viciously like a tyrant. Then let\u2019s assume that there is some leftover compelling evidence that you did do something wrong. Now you have to figure out what you did wrong and you have to figure out what you would have done differently and what you <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">will do<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> differently in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">My sense is, and I think this works out psychologically, if you can set yourself up so that you have learned from the mistake you made so you would not repeat it<\/span><b>, <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">then you get to go on with your life. \u2026 The devil in your mind that is still accusing might be saying, \u201cWhat you did is so terrible that you should never be let off the hook,\u201d but I would say if that is the criteria you use for judgment, then everyone\u2019s doomed because everyone makes mistakes in their lives \u2014 and probably everybody makes the unforgivable mistakes. So if we are going to take ourselves apart about that permanently, then we are all ruined.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Jocko Willink: <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yes, I was pretty lucky growing up in the military that I would get to see guys \u2014 and I was probably 26-years-old and I moved into an instructor role in the SEAL teams \u2014 so you\u2019d see these young leaders and they\u2019d go out on some training mission, and they were going to mess things up. They were going to make mistakes. And you always get this talk about, well, you made the best decision you could with the information that you had at the time. And it kind of sounds like a cop out in a way, but it\u2019s actually not a cop out at all. You make the best decision that you can with the information that you have at the time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What more can a human being do than make the best decision they can with the information that they had at the time? And when you get more information or when the results come as they may, that decision that you made might not have been a good decision. It might have been a bad decision. But number one, there\u2019s nothing you can do to change it. It already happened; you made the decision. Then I would always look at the guys and say, what was their intent behind this decision that they made? Why did they do it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Because if we can decipher that \u2014 <em>and their intent was they wanted to make a good move to get their guys out of a bad situation<\/em> \u2014 what more could I want from a leader than to make a decision that\u2019s doing their best with the information that they had at the time to maneuver out of a bad scenario to take care of their guys? There\u2019s nothing more I could hope for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So as long as you peel back the onion and you kind of review what happened, you say, \u201cYes, I made the decision at this time. Of course, if I had this other information, I\u2019d change it. But I did what I did. The result was not what I wanted. It\u2019s not what I intended. Here we are.\u201d And now you can either beat yourself up or you can say, here\u2019s some lessons I\u2019ve learned from it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">To continue, listen or watch more content with Dr. Jordan Peterson on <\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/watch\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">DailyWire+<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.jordanbpeterson.com\/\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dr. Jordan B. Peterson<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is a clinical psychologist and professor emeritus at the University of Toronto. From 1993 to 1998 he served as assistant and then associate professor of psychology at Harvard. He is the international bestselling author of Maps of Meaning, 12 Rules For Life, and Beyond Order. You can now<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/podcasts\/the-jordan-b-peterson-podcast\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> listen to<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> or<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/watch\/jordan-peterson\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> watch<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> his popular lectures on DailyWire+.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is a transcript excerpt from Dr. Jordan Peterson\u2019s conversation with Jocko Willink on accepting sadness but knowing it will be ok, setting yourself back on the right track, learning from mistakes, forgiving yourself, and making the best decision with the information you have at the time. You can listen to or watch the<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1006,"featured_media":2171202,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/dw-wp-production.imgix.net\/2022\/07\/JBP1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2171201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/dw-wp-production.imgix.net\/2022\/07\/JBP1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1006"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2171201"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2171201\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2171202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2171201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2171201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2171201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}