{"id":2132053,"date":"2023-12-22T19:27:01","date_gmt":"2023-12-23T00:27:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/i-put-together-my-own-grown-up-christmas-list\/"},"modified":"2023-12-22T19:30:46","modified_gmt":"2023-12-23T00:30:46","slug":"i-put-together-my-own-grown-up-christmas-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/i-put-together-my-own-grown-up-christmas-list\/","title":{"rendered":"My Personal Adult Christmas Wishlist"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">10<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fi-put-together-my-own-grown-up-christmas-list%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=2132053&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><h2>Welcome to our Christmas\u2064 Show!<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Get ready\u2062 for a \u200bfestive \u2064gathering with my son and\u2064 daughter, where \u200bwe&#8217;ll dive deep into\u2062 the true meaning of Christmas, \u200dreminisce about Christmases \u200bpast, \u200band, of course, say the word \u200b&#8221;Christmas&#8221; as many times as \u200dhumanly possible. Why, you ask? Well,\u2063 we&#8217;re hoping that by the end of this show, you&#8217;ll be so filled with holiday spirit that\u2063 you&#8217;ll rush to buy our books, allowing us to kick back and enjoy the rest of the year in blissful relaxation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Picture this: I&#8217;m \u2063sitting by a crackling fireplace, sipping on eggnog\u2063 and indulging in delicious Christmas cookies. As I listen \u200cto a\u200d radio tuned to the \u200dNorth Pole, I&#8217;m treated to the enchanting melodies of Santa&#8217;s elves playing \u2063their magical rendition of &#8220;My Grown-Up Christmas\u200b List.&#8221; You \u2062know, that song where \u200da woman visits Santa and asks for world peace and eternal justice. It&#8217;s quite\u200c inspiring, really. It got me thinking, if songs like this\u200c can dominate the\u2064 airwaves every Christmas, \u200bthen surely I could\u2063 create a\u200d hit by repeatedly smacking a squealing piglet with a \u200ctrash can lid. I mean, why not? It&#8217;s all about the Christmas spirit, right?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, in my slightly inebriated state, I decided to compile my own grown-up Christmas list. And let me\u2064 tell you, it&#8217;s a doozy.\u200b If I had the chance \u200cto sit\u200c on Santa&#8217;s \u2062knee without it becoming an internet sensation, I&#8217;d\u200c ask him to make the world a\u200c better place. How, you ask? Well, by installing ejector seats \u200bon commercial airlines. That way, any clueless individual blaring their iPad videos without headphones would be\u200d swiftly launched through\u200c the roof of the plane, hurtling through the sky at \u2062breakneck\u200d speed. As\u200c they plummet towards the ground, they&#8217;d have\u2063 ample time to reflect on their mind-boggling rudeness and the\u200b consequences of their actions. It&#8217;s a Christmas miracle waiting to happen!<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Watch: The Andrew Klavan Show<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">But that&#8217;s not all. On my \u200bgrown-up Christmas list, I have a few\u2062 more wishes. I&#8217;d love for every braindead \u2062college student who supports the Palestinian monsters, every journalist who hypocritically cries about\u200d the \u2063First Amendment while endorsing social media\u2063 censorship, every public official who unjustly shuts down churches or forces unwanted injections on people, and every commentator \u2063who downplays the Biden family&#8217;s corruption to wake up to\u200d a\u2063 shocking\u2064 reality. I wish \u2064they&#8217;d\u200c find themselves unwittingly starring in the latest Democrat\u2062 congressional gay porn video, alongside a rolled-up tube of Donald Trump&#8217;s Truth Social\u200b posts.\u200d Now, I wouldn&#8217;t watch such a thing myself, but the hilarity \u2063of it \u200ball would surely bring me endless joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">And lastly, on my grown-up Christmas \u2064list, I yearn for a Magic Christmas Explanation Fairy. This whimsical creature would travel from place to\u2063 place, enlightening establishment Republicans \u2063in government \u2062and the media \u200dabout why people \u2064voted \u200bfor Trump. She&#8217;d also have a heart-to-heart with Vivek Ramy-swamy, Nikki Haley-Whaley, \u200band that forgettable chubby guy, informing them \u2064that their \u2062dreams of becoming the Republican nominee for president are nothing but a fantasy. They should pack up and let the people decide if \u200dthey want more Trump or someone with zero personality but actual competence. Oh, and she&#8217;d also have a word with the \u200bguy hurtling towards the earth\u200c after being ejected from the plane. She&#8217;d explain that it&#8217;s equally rude and repulsive to have\u200c phone conversations in public restrooms. He deserves to hit the ground twice \u200bfor\u200d his lack of manners.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, that&#8217;s my grown-up Christmas list. Oh, and I still wish for \u200cwars \u2062to never start, although \u2063I&#8217;m not entirely sure \u2063what that even means. It&#8217;s\u200d just one of \u200bthose silly songs, isn&#8217;t it?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">What a \u2063ridiculous tune.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>* * \u200b*<\/p>\n<p><em>Andrew Klavan is the host of &#8220;The Andrew Klavan Show&#8221; at The Daily Wire. He is the bestselling author of the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, &#8220;The House of \u2062Love and Death,&#8221; is now available. Follow him \u200don X: @andrewklavan<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This excerpt is\u2062 taken from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/as-russia-tries-to-conquer-ukraine-deviants-try-to-conquer-everybody\/\" title=\"As Russia Tries To Conquer Ukraine, Deviants Try To Conquer Everybody\">opening satirical monologue<\/a> \u200bof &#8220;The Andrew\u200c Klavan Show.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The views expressed in this \u200d<a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/10-babylon-bee-headlines-that-no-longer-sound-like-satire\/\" title=\"10 Babylon Bee Headlines That No Longer Sound Like Satire\">satirical article<\/a> are those of the author and\u2063 do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.<\/em><\/p>\n<p> <\/p>\n<h2> How do the encounters with the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and\u2064 future serve as a reminder of the importance of truth, justice, and\u2063 moral integrity?<\/h2>\n<p><span>  Their own version of &#8220;A Christmas Carol,&#8221; \u2064where they are\u200b visited by \u2064the ghosts of Christmas past,\u2062 present, and future. These\u200d encounters\u200b would serve as a stark reminder of the importance\u200c of truth, justice, and \u200dmoral integrity. Perhaps then, they would reconsider their misguided beliefs and actions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now, you may be wondering how \u2063all \u200dof this ties into our Christmas show. Well,\u200d my son and daughter will be presenting a\u200b collection of heartwarming \u200cstories\u200c and songs that capture the\u200b essence \u200cof Christmas. They have \u2064been\u200d practicing tirelessly, perfecting their performances so that you, the\u2062 audience, can experience the magic of the season. Through storytelling and music, they aim to spread\u2063 joy, love,\u200b and the true meaning of Christmas.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In addition to their performances, \u200bwe\u200d will have a delightful surprise in store\u2063 for\u2062 you. We have \u2062invited a \u2064<a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/white-nationalist-terror-the-6-worst-media-meltdowns-over-the-kyle-rittenhouse-verdict\/\" title=\"\u2018White Nationalist Terror\u2019: The 6 Worst Media Meltdowns Over The Kyle Rittenhouse Verdict\">special guest appearance<\/a> from a renowned storyteller who will transport us all to the\u200c North \u200dPole with enchanting \u200dtales of Santa \u200cClaus and \u2062his merry little helpers. It will be a magical journey that will leave you beaming with nostalgia and childlike\u2064 wonder.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So mark your \u2064calendars and don&#8217;t miss our Christmas show. It promises to be an evening filled with laughter, joy, and the true spirit of Christmas. Come join us \u2062as we celebrate this \u200bspecial time of year and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/best-places-to-watch-fireworks-in-dc-on-fourth-of-july\/\" title=\"Top spots for Fourth of July fireworks in DC\">create lasting memories<\/a>. See you there!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Join our Christmas show, a festive gathering with my kids. We&#8217;ll ponder the true essence of Christmas, reminisce about past celebrations, and, well, mention Christmas repeatedly. Hopefully, you&#8217;ll support us by purchasing our books, allowing us to enjoy the rest of the year in leisure. Welcome!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":641,"featured_media":2132054,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2132053","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2132053","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2132053"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2132053\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2132054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2132053"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2132053"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2132053"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}