{"id":1985596,"date":"2023-07-28T22:21:02","date_gmt":"2023-07-29T02:21:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/barbie-is-the-worst-film-ive-never-seen\/"},"modified":"2023-07-28T22:22:23","modified_gmt":"2023-07-29T02:22:23","slug":"barbie-is-the-worst-film-ive-never-seen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/barbie-is-the-worst-film-ive-never-seen\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;Barbie&#8217; is the worst film I&#8217;ve yet to watch."},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">18<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fbarbie-is-the-worst-film-ive-never-seen%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1985596&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><h2>Engaging Commentary on the &#8220;Barbie&#8221; Film<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Well, everybody seems to \u2062have something to say about the new \u201cBarbie\u201d \u2062film, the summer blockbuster that\u200d used up \u2062so much pink paint on its set designs it actually caused a pink paint shortage, spreading panic among people who panic over pink paint. The film has inspired so much online\u2063 commentary, it also threatens to cause a shortage of pixels, spreading \u200bpanic\u200b among people who panic over pixels, who turn out to be the same people who panic over pink paint, and \u200cclimate change and other meaningless nonsense.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>Divided Opinions<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">On the Right, commentators\u200c thought the film sucked because it was a shrill, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/barbie-is-the-worst-film-ive-never-seen\/\" title=\"'Barbie' is the worst film I've yet to watch.\">man-hating feminist screed<\/a>. On the Left, commentators thought the film sucked but\u200b had to pretend to\u200b like it because \u2063it was a shrill, man-hating feminist screed.\u200d The only person who seemed to enjoy the movie was Ben Shapiro, who loved it so much\u200c he actually\u200b bought his own Barbie and played with it until the fire department came and put it out.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So many people have commented on \u201cBarbie\u201d that there\u2019s \u200dvery little left for me to say. So I\u2019ve decided to do\u200d something totally original by offering my comments on \u201cBarbie\u201d without actually watching the movie. Now you may ask yourself: What\u2019s the point of that? And the point is: I don\u2019t have to watch a movie that\u2019s about Barbie. Because frankly, if I have to choose between watching a movie about \u2063Barbie and sticking \u2064a\u200d screwdriver so far into\u200b my ear that only the handle sticks out, you\u2019ll soon have to call me Old \u2064Screwdriver Ear as in the sentence, \u201cBoy, \u200cthat Old Screwdriver Ear \u200csure \u200ddidn\u2019t want to \u2064watch a movie about Barbie.\u201d And that would be true. \u200dNot caring about \u201cBarbie\u201d is kind of a passion with me. It\u2019s the\u200c reason I forced my daughter to grow up by sticking \u200ba \u2063pistol in her face and saying, \u201cGrow up, kid, or I\u2019ll blast you.\u201d And all right, it wasn\u2019t a \u2062real pistol. But she didn\u2019t know that, and \u2063you can bet she grew up in a big hurry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Anyway, instead of watching \u201cBarbie,\u201d \u200dI went to see \u201cOppenheimer,\u201d a movie so long that when it premiered in Tokyo, the Japanese surrendered again.\u200c And now that I haven\u2019t seen \u201cBarbie\u201d\u200c for a full three \u2063hours plus trailers, here\u2019s\u2063 my\u2062 review.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>A Satirical Review<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">As you know, feminists hate \u201cBarbie\u201d because she\u2019s shapely and feminine and blond and wouldn\u2019t really become an astronaut or a surgeon or a cowgirl because a woman who\u2019s shapely, feminine and blonde can have a totally happy life without bothering to become any of those things. But to me all this feminist hostility is misplaced. I mean, Barbie has no vagina so she can\u2019t get laid, her breasts don\u2019t \u2064give milk so she\u2019d make a lousy mother, \u2064and her head is made of plastic \u2014 so to me she sounds just like all \u200bthe other feminists. Anyway,\u2064 I sat down to \u2064not\u2062 watch\u200d this movie not knowing what to expect.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">And frankly, \u200bI hated it.\u2064 \u201cBarbie\u201d is the worst \u2062film I\u2019ve \u2062never seen. It\u2019s even worse \u2064than \u201cReal Women have Curves,\u201d which was so bad I didn\u2019t watch it\u200d twice. To show you how bad \u201cBarbie\u200b was,\u201d let me sum up \u200cthe plot, which I know nothing\u2064 about because I didn\u2019t watch the\u200d movie. I didn\u2019t \u200beven read the summary on Wikipedia because \u200dI didn\u2019t\u2064 want to have to walk around with some damn screwdriver stuck in my ear.<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<h3>A Non-Watchers Summary<\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201cBarbie\u201d begins in\u200d Barbieland, where it\u2019s not very exciting because the only \u200dman around is Ken and he\u2019s obviously gay or he wouldn\u2019t dress like\u2063 that. Also, the roller blades are a giveaway. Barbie decides to go to \u2062the real world where the women complain to her that being a \u200dwoman\u200c is hard because of men. So obviously, this isn\u2019t the real real world but \u2064there are some similarities, like the women complaining all the time and blaming men. Finally, Barbie meets a wise woman who explains that being\u200d a woman is very hard because of men. So Barbie returns to Barbieland and starts\u2064 to complain about everything while blaming men, and Barbieland becomes just like\u2064 reality\u2064 only \u200bplastic.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">So that\u2019s my\u200b review. And if you listened to\u200c this and\u200b thought, \u201cWhat the hell was the point of \u200dthat?\u201d you may have missed the part where I explained that I didn\u2019t have to watch \u201cBarbie.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Andrew Klavan is the host \u2064of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Andrew Klavan\u200d Show<\/a>\u201d at The Daily Wire. He is an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/parents-should-oppose-critical-race-theory-to-save-our-kids-from-left-wing-indoctrination-ag-paxton\/\" title=\"Parents Should Oppose Critical Race Theory to \u2018Save Our Kids\u2019 from Left-Wing Indoctrination: AG Paxton\">award-winning novelist<\/a>, Hollywood screenwriter, and popular satirist. Klavan is\u00a0the author of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/When-Christmas-Comes-Andrew-Klavan\/dp\/1613162405\/ref=pd_bxgy_sccl_2\/132-9473875-2662038?pd_rd_w=x29DZ&#038;content-id=amzn1.sym.26a5c67f-1a30-486b-bb90-b523ad38d5a0&#038;pf_rd_p=26a5c67f-1a30-486b-bb90-b523ad38d5a0&#038;pf_rd_r=X7J7YCZYPAH29407AXTY&#038;pd_rd_wg=M65Ef&#038;pd_rd_r=c2bb5bb5-dd27-434d-9ca1-f2098f486a81&#038;pd_rd_i=1613162405&#038;psc=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">When Christmas Comes<\/a>\u201d and \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref=pd_bxgy_sccl_1\/132-9473875-2662038?pd_rd_w=lnVGk&#038;content-id=amzn1.sym.26a5c67f-1a30-486b-bb90-b523ad38d5a0&#038;pf_rd_p=26a5c67f-1a30-486b-bb90-b523ad38d5a0&#038;pf_rd_r=13RV0285EXYKN2D57RST&#038;pd_rd_wg=jW34u&#038;pd_rd_r=e0bb3c70-62ea-4448-8be5-a7cf1bba3f5e&#038;pd_rd_i=1613163517&#038;psc=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Strange Habit of Mind,<\/a>\u201d the \u200cfirst \u200ctwo novels\u2062 in the USA Today\u2062 best-selling Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Death-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries-ebook\/dp\/B0BW1ZTVP9?ref_=ast_author_dp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The House of \u2063Love and Death<\/a>,\u201d\u2064 releases on October 31, 2023, and is now available for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/House-Death-Cameron-Winter-Mysteries-ebook\/dp\/B0BW1ZTVP9?ref_=ast_author_dp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Pre-order<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Follow Klavan on Twitter:\u00a0@andrewklavan<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This excerpt\u200b is taken from the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/as-russia-tries-to-conquer-ukraine-deviants-try-to-conquer-everybody\/\" title=\"As Russia Tries To Conquer Ukraine, Deviants Try To Conquer Everybody\">opening satirical monologue<\/a> of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/episode\/ep-1141-the-human-stain-member-exclusive\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Andrew\u200b Klavan Show<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The views \u2062expressed\u200d in this satirical article are those of the author and do \u2064not necessarily represent those of The \u2062Daily Wire.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The new &#8220;Barbie&#8221; film has sparked widespread discussion, with everyone sharing their opinions. The excessive use of pink paint in the set designs caused a shortage, causing panic among those who obsess over it. The film&#8217;s popularity has led to an abundance of online commentary, which now poses a potential threat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":641,"featured_media":1985597,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1985596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1985596"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1985596\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1985597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1985596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1985596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1985596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}