{"id":1961977,"date":"2023-06-30T21:41:02","date_gmt":"2023-07-01T01:41:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/in-this-house-we-believe-in-empty-platitudes\/"},"modified":"2023-06-30T21:43:20","modified_gmt":"2023-07-01T01:43:20","slug":"in-this-house-we-believe-in-empty-platitudes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/in-this-house-we-believe-in-empty-platitudes\/","title":{"rendered":"In this house, we value hollow clich\u00e9s."},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">14<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fin-this-house-we-believe-in-empty-platitudes%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1961977&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><h2>In this house, we believe.<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this house, we believe that love is love, whether it\u2019s love between a husband and wife who\u2019ve committed their lives to one another and are willing to sacrifice for each other\u2019s happiness and for the happiness of the children they create together, or whether it\u2019s two guys dressed in rubber suits grinding lit cigarettes into each other\u2019s backsides and then exposing their genitals to children to declare how proud they are before drugging themselves into insensibility and passing out in a pool of their own vomit. Because in this house, we believe love is love whether you love your family\u2026 or vomit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this house, we believe that science is real, so if a mentally ill teenager runs through the streets screaming it\u2019s the end of the world, you should kill your children to stop the climate from changing. And if the government tells you to put on a mask and stay home from church and hold a race riot instead while leaving your children sitting in front of a computer screen so their pervert teacher can tell them to change their gender because gender is a magical ghostly presence that can be wished into sparkly colors until a man can get pregnant and then have an abortion into the ninth month because the baby\u2019s not a human being until it passes through the magic vagina place and the mother doesn\u2019t even have a vagina because he\u2019s a man, then you should immediately go outside and pray to a gigantic windmill so it will supply enough electricity to power the entire country without any fossil fuels. Because in this house, we believe that science is real\u2026 like\u2026 Tinker bell. Or Moloch.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this house, we believe that black lives matter. So if a black gangster should drive by in his stolen Hyundai Sonata and spray a black neighborhood with bullets wiping out a five-year-old child, a postman, and a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/progressive-democrat-blasts-bds-lgbtq-activists-who-defend-hamas-terror-group-that-murders-lgbtq-people\/\" title=\"Progressive Democrat Blasts BDS, LGBTQ Activists Who Defend Hamas Terror Group That \u2018Murders LGBTQ People\u2019\">single mother working<\/a> two jobs to support her family, and if that gangster then tries to outrace a police car so that his stolen Sonata drives over a kid on a tricycle before careening through a living room picture window and killing a family of five in a flaming explosion, and if the police officer then trades fire with the gangster and shoots him dead to protect the rest of the neighborhood, then that officer should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law because in this house, we believe black lives matter.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this house, we believe that women\u2019s rights are human rights because any human can be a woman if he puts on a dress and a string of pearls, and no woman should have the right to say he\u2019s not a woman or that he can\u2019t come into her locker room and watch her undress just because he\u2019s a woman who happens to have an erection. And no woman should have the right to stop that erect woman from stealing her athletic achievements just because he\u2019s a woman who\u2019s a man. So \u2014 no woman should have the right to complain or achieve or speak or live in peace because in this house, we believe women\u2019s rights are human rights and any human can be a woman so women have no rights.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">In this house, we believe in progress. In the bad old days, people were slaves to convention and had to wear suits and ties and listen to boring music like Bach and Mozart and use words that expressed assigned meanings and only have sex if they were married. But now there\u2019s progress! So we can go naked with our bodies covered in tattoos and with metal spikes stuck in our noses and our eyebrows while we grunt wordlessly to the sound of deafening foul-mouthed hip-hop and have sex with anything that feels good until it squirms out of our grasp and escapes back into the forest, because in this house, we believe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/in-this-house-we-believe-in-empty-platitudes\/\" title=\"In this house, we value hollow clich\u00e9s.\">ooga booga naga noona nana zoogaga waga booliya<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3>Which means: In this house, we believe kindness is everything. And if you disagree, we\u2019ll kill you.<\/h3>\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Andrew Klavan<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is the host of \u201cThe Andrew Klavan Show\u201d at The Daily Wire. A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/allow-me-to-explain-the-leftist-doctrine-of-intersectionalism\/\" title=\"Allow Me To Explain The Leftist Doctrine Of Intersectionalism\">popular political satirist<\/a> and Hollywood screenwriter, Klavan is also an <a href=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/parents-should-oppose-critical-race-theory-to-save-our-kids-from-left-wing-indoctrination-ag-paxton\/\" title=\"Parents Should Oppose Critical Race Theory to \u2018Save Our Kids\u2019 from Left-Wing Indoctrination: AG Paxton\">award-winning novelist<\/a>. His newest novel is \u201c<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&#038;qid=&#038;sr=\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">A Strange Habit of Mind<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">,\u201d book two in the Cameron Winter Mystery series.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">This is an excerpt from the opening satirical monologue from \u201c<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Andrew Klavan Show<\/a>.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this house, we believe love is love. Whether it&#8217;s the commitment between a husband and wife, sacrificing for each other&#8217;s happiness and their children, or two guys dressed in love, we embrace all forms of love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":641,"featured_media":1961978,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1961977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1961977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1961977\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1961978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1961977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1961977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1961977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}