{"id":1859562,"date":"2023-02-24T21:19:20","date_gmt":"2023-02-25T02:19:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1859562"},"modified":"2023-02-24T21:19:52","modified_gmt":"2023-02-25T02:19:52","slug":"leftists-promise-to-rewrite-the-classic-works-of-roald-dahl-as-they-redesign-western-culture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/leftists-promise-to-rewrite-the-classic-works-of-roald-dahl-as-they-redesign-western-culture\/","title":{"rendered":"Leftists Promise To Rewrite The Classic Works Of Roald Dahl As They Redesign Western Culture"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">30<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fleftists-promise-to-rewrite-the-classic-works-of-roald-dahl-as-they-redesign-western-culture%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1859562&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47-->\n<p><em>Here is the opening satirical monologue to &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/episode\/ep-1119-finding-truth-in-the-empire-of-lies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Andrew Klavan Show.<\/a>&#8220;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>To ensure that the bestselling Roald Dahl children&#8217;s book is not offensive to cultural locusts without a sense of humor, a group of concerned cultural locusts has been rewriting them. Crappy McCocust, president of Puffin publishers, said that loved creative works like &#8220;Charlie and The Chocolate Factory&#8221;  &#8220;James and the Giant Peach,&#8221; To bring them up to the standard of uncreative, unlovable people, they will be rewritten.<\/p>\n<p>An amusing passage, for example, is from &#8220;James and the Giant Peach&#8221; Aunt Sponge is a similar character. &#8220;fat and pulpy as a jellyfish,&#8221; With &#8220;a white, flabby face that looked as if it had been boiled,&#8221; It will be stripped of all humor and originality so that it doesn&#8217;t distract fatsos while he stuffs his flabby faces. These are the words &#8220;mothers and fathers&#8221; The book is being edited &#8220;Matilda&#8221; a substitute for the word &#8220;parents,&#8221; So that children don&#8217;t discover how babies were made, Puffin Books president suggests his mother was a lie when she told him the story about the stork.<\/p>\n<p><strong>RELATED: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/news\/publisher-walks-back-woke-rewrites-of-roald-dahls-classic-stories-will-release-original-text-as-well\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Publisher Will Rewrite Roald Dahl&#8217;s Classic Stories From The Back of His Head, and Release the Original Text<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now I understand what some of your thoughts are. You&#8217;re thinking: &#8220;Oh Klavan, you steaming hot hunk of hilarity, I have to protest that your depiction of Puffin publishing as a squirming den of crap-faced cultural locusts without a sense of humor run by a humorless man named Crappy McLocust is simply too absurd to be believable even though it does make me laugh hysterically while experiencing a deep sense of yearning for the masterful touch of your powerful yet gentle hands.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And okay, the guy&#8217;s name isn&#8217;t really Crappy McLocust \u2014 perhaps because he suffered a disfiguring naming accident at birth. Rest assured, this is not a hoax. Amazingly, the edits are all real.<\/p>\n<p>Puffin Publishers acted on the betrayal their sacred trust to a deceased author who was listed among the most important British writers since 1945. This was done in conjunction with Inclusive Minds which describes itself as &#8220;Inclusive Minds&#8221;. [quote \u2013 and this is a real quote] &#8220;a collaboration of consultants and campaigners with a passion for inclusion, diversity, equality and accessibility in children&#8217;s literature, who have no talent or accomplishments of our own and so destroy the work of people who do have talent and accomplishments so we won&#8217;t feel so bad about being the pinched, empty, miserable and small-minded no-talents that we are.&#8221; [unquote] The whole quote might not be true. I&#8217;m not certain.<\/p>\n<p>After leaving his job as a leader of Taliban in Afghanistan, Mullah Olam, who was responsible for the redesign of Buddhas of Bamiyan, became the director of Inclusive Minds. Omar ordered the destruction of 15-hundred year-old monumental statues. They didn&#8217;t conform to his cultural standards and were not sensitive to the feelings of fanatic, black-hearted destroyers of great art works like himself and others at Inclusive Minds. Omar stated that although he was uncomfortable with the idea of dynamiting Roald Dal&#8217;s books, editing them to make them more contemporary would have an impact on the future generation&#8217;s willingness to dynamite them.<\/p>\n<p>Mr. Omar indicated that he hopes to continue his collaboration with Puffin Books and their parent company Penguin Books. Penguin Books is home to a wide range of classic books Mr. Omar loves and can&#8217;t get enough of. Once he removes all offensive words from Penguin&#8217;s collection, Omar hopes that his organization can be combined with Penguin to create Penguin-Taliban or Taliban Penguin. As head of Inclusive Minds Mr. Omar stated that he hopes to eventually redesign Western culture in the same manner he redesigned Buddhas of Bamiyan.<\/p>\n<p>To be fair, I should mention that Puffin President Crappy McNult and Inclusive Director Mullah Omar couldn&#8217;t have attempted to desecrate Roald Dal&#8217;s work without the permission of Fatso Flabbyface Roald&#8217;s copyright holder.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Andrew Klavan<\/a>\u00a0The Andrew Klavan show hosts on The Daily Wire.\u00a0Klavan, a popular political satirist who is also a screenwriter in Hollywood, is also an award-winning novelist.\u00a0Klavan&#8217;s newest novel is\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&#038;qid=&#038;sr=\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Strange Habit of<\/p>\n<p><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is the opening satirical monologue from \u201cThe Andrew Klavan Show.\u201c The bestselling children\u2019s books by the late, great British novelist Roald Dahl are being rewritten by a concerned group of crap-faced cultural locusts with no sense of humor so they will no longer be offensive to crap-faced cultural locusts with no sense of &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":641,"featured_media":1859565,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[13875,4421,19052,5965,6055,19676,17783,19053,13782],"class_list":["post-1859562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire","tag-classic","tag-culture","tag-dahl","tag-leftists","tag-promise","tag-redesign","tag-rewrite","tag-roald","tag-western"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1859562"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1859562\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1859565"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1859562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1859562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1859562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}