{"id":1736982,"date":"2022-11-13T06:30:15","date_gmt":"2022-11-13T11:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1736982"},"modified":"2022-11-13T10:19:28","modified_gmt":"2022-11-13T15:19:28","slug":"melanie-notkin-women-need-to-stop-shaming-men-for-being-too-masculine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/melanie-notkin-women-need-to-stop-shaming-men-for-being-too-masculine\/","title":{"rendered":"Melanie Notkin: Women Need to Stop Shaming Men for Being \u201cToo Masculine\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">24<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fmelanie-notkin-women-need-to-stop-shaming-men-for-being-too-masculine%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1736982&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n<\/aside>\n<p>If you ask many single women to<em> truly<\/em> describe what they\u2019re looking for in a mate, \u201cmasculine\u201d is likely to be on the list. And yet, for many progressive women\u00a0\u2014 especially those on the feminist left \u2014\u00a0any form of typical masculinity is seen as undesirable.<\/p>\n<p>Take a recent article in The New York Times headlined: \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/09\/24\/technology\/silicon-valley-slides-back-into-bro-culture.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Silicon Valley Slides Back Into \u2018Bro\u2019 Culture<\/a>,\u201d by tech and venture capital reporter Erin Griffith. In the piece, Griffith shares concern over the \u201copenly defiant [and] combative\u201d behavior among \u201ctech\u2019s most powerful elite.\u201d Calling out the CEO of Meta, Griffith writes, \u201cMark Zuckerberg spent hours touting his love of jiu-jitsu, wrestling and UFC on Joe Rogan\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/51gxrAActH18RGhKNza598\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">podcast<\/a>, which is known for its hypermasculinity.\u201d Griffith argues that the conversation \u201cseemed designed for maximum outrage,\u201d adding \u201cZuck likes to wrestle with his buddies?\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg\" alt=\"Joe Rogan and Mark Zuckerberg bonded over their shared affinity for jiu-jitsu, which the Meta chief says his two daughters now enjoy.\" class=\"wp-image-24589950\" width=\"618\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1233 1236w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=925 927w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=618 618w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=308 309w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/rogan-zuckerberg.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Joe Rogan and Mark Zuckerberg bonded over their shared affinity for jiu-jitsu, which the Meta chief says his two daughters now enjoy. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">PowerfulJRE\/YouTube<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg\" alt=\"Although experts say martial arts like jiu-jitsu can help improve mental focus, a New York Times writer dubbed the practice  \u201chypermasculine.\u201d\" class=\"wp-image-24589955\" width=\"618\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1233 1236w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=925 927w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=618 618w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=308 309w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/brazilian-jiu-jitsu.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Although experts say martial arts like jiu-jitsu can help improve mental focus, a New York Times writer dubbed the practice  \u201chypermasculine.\u201d<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shutterstock\/Miljan Zivkovic<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>As a fan of Rogan\u2019s podcast, I was confused by the reporter\u2019s portrayal of the conversation, <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/51gxrAActH18RGhKNza598\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">and listened again <\/a>in search of all that supposed \u201chypermasculinity.\u201d Zuckerberg said he began practicing jiu-jitsu about a year ago to help him \u201cfocus physically and intellectually\u201d and clear his mind for work. He even got his two young daughters to take up the mixed martial art. As for Rogan, he\u2019s a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, and the two men bonded over the benefits of the sport, one even the NIH says improves symptoms of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC6910885\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">PTSD, depression, and anxiety.<\/a> <\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/aziz-ansari.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/aziz-ansari.jpg\" alt=\"Comic Aziz Ansari was publicly humiliated and accused of sexual assault after a date gone wrong.\" class=\"wp-image-24589977\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/aziz-ansari.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/aziz-ansari.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/aziz-ansari.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=512 512w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Comic Aziz Ansari was publicly humiliated and accused of sexual assault after a date gone wrong. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Getty Images for NBC<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Jiu-jitsu isn\u2019t about Rogan and Zuckerberg enjoying a dangerous form of masculinity; it\u2019s a practice for improving physical, mental and emotional well-being. The practice calms a man\u2019s innate aggression, it doesn\u2019t feed it.<\/p>\n<p>This reframing of typical male behavior as toxic has seeped into everyday life. Approach a woman at a bar and men risk getting called a creep. Act chivalrous on a date, and she may end up branding you sexist.\u00a0Be lustful with a woman and she can, <a href=\"https:\/\/pagesix.com\/2018\/01\/14\/aziz-ansari-accused-of-sexual-assault\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">as was the 2018 case of actor Aziz Ansari<\/a>, accuse you of sexual assault. Why develop into the type of masculine man women want, when masculinity itself is now so heavily pathologized? <\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg\" alt=\"One result of shaming men and masculinity, says author Richard V. Reeves: Females now outnumber males on college campuses nationwide.\" class=\"wp-image-24589982\" width=\"618\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1233 1236w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=925 927w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=618 618w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=308 309w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/women-students.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>One result of shaming men and masculinity, says author Richard V. Reeves: Females now outnumber males on college campuses nationwide. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shutterstock\/Drazen Zigic<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Indeed, masculinity is now so often labeled \u201ctoxic\u201d that men are retreating into their proverbial \u201cparents\u2019 basement,\u201d said Richard V. Reeves, author of \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Boys-Men-Modern-Struggling-Matters\/dp\/0815739877?tag=nypost-20&#038;asc_refurl=https:\/\/nypost.com\/2022\/11\/12\/women-need-to-stop-shaming-men-for-being-too-masculine\/&#038;asc_source=web\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\">Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It<\/a>.\u201d In his book, Reeves, a senior fellow in economic studies at the Brookings Institute, draws attention to how boys and men are falling behind academically and professionally. He also explores why men are checking out of dating, mating and for some, life entirely. As he sees it, the term \u201ctoxic\u201d is added to \u201cany behavior the user of the term doesn\u2019t like.\u201d Even \u201cstereotypical\u201d male activities like being rowdy with friends or building muscle strength, is mislabeled as \u201ctoxic\u201d or \u201chyper.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cImagine what it\u2019s like to be a young man who is constantly demonized with puritan-style policing just for being himself,\u201d Reeves said.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"682\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg\" alt=\"Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves\" class=\"wp-image-24589962\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1023 1023w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=682 682w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=341 341w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/of-boys-and-men.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Reeves is optimistic that the tide can turn, and his solution is simple: \u201cWomen need to stop pathologizing men and masculinity.\u201d<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>It\u2019s no wonder, Reeves says, that \u201cmen are lost,\u201d and find comfort with other disenfranchised men online \u2014 rather than risk connecting with the young women with whom they may want to form families. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cDisenchanted men . . . can be led deeper and deeper into what has been labeled the \u201cmanosphere,\u201d and find groups like <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/lifeandstyle\/2020\/aug\/26\/men-going-their-own-way-the-toxic-male-separatist-movement-that-is-now-mainstream\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)<\/a>, Reeves writes in his book. These men reject relationships with women, disavow sex, earn just enough to get by until finally, they \u201ccompletely disengage from society.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg\" alt=\"Zuckerberg (with wife Priscilla Chan and UFC fighter Dana White) hardly appears \u201ctoxic\u201d as he cheers on a UFC contest. Maybe it\u2019s just good fun?\" class=\"wp-image-24589983\" width=\"618\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=1233 1236w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=925 927w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=618 618w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all&#038;w=308 309w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/11\/zuckerberg-chan-white.jpg?quality=75&#038;strip=all 1024w\" \/><\/a><figcaption>Zuckerberg (with wife Priscilla Chan and UFC fighter Dana White) hardly appears \u201ctoxic\u201d as he cheers on a UFC contest. Maybe it\u2019s just good fun? <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Zuffa LLC<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Despite their role in man-bashing, radical feminists and progressives like the folks at the Times take no responsibility for marginalizing men and masculinity. \u201cIf anything,\u201d Reeves writes, \u201cprogressives have more to answer for here, by either neglecting male issues altogether or by blaming them on toxic masculinity.\u201d <\/p>\n<p>Fortunately, Reeves is optimistic that the tide can turn, and his solution is simple: \u201cWomen need to stop pathologizing men and masculinity.\u201d When women give men the space to be their full selves (masculine selves included) men will \u201cstep up\u201d and out of their shells.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe don\u2019t need to . . . say things [to men] like \u2018You go, boy!\u2019 when they do something right,\u201d Reeves continues. \u201cWe simply need to stop making them feel like there\u2019s something wrong with them for being male.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Melanie Notkin is the author of\u00a0\u201c<\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Otherhood-Modern-Women-Finding-Happiness\/dp\/1580055710\/ref=sr_1_1?crid=RB3R34RTZ8ZH&#038;keywords=Otherhood%3A+Modern+Women+Finding+a+New+Kind+of+Happiness.&#038;qid=1667418538&#038;qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjE2IiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&#038;sprefix=otherhood+modern+women+finding+a+new+kind+of+happiness.%2Caps%2C48&#038;sr=8-1&#038;tag=nypost-20&#038;asc_refurl=https:\/\/nypost.com\/2022\/11\/12\/women-need-to-stop-shaming-men-for-being-too-masculine\/&#038;asc_source=web\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\">O<em>therhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness<\/em><\/a><em>.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you ask many single women to truly describe what they\u2019re looking for in a mate, \u201cmasculine\u201d is likely to be on the list. And yet, for many<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1736985,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[547],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1736982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-bongino-report"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1736982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1736982"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1736982\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1736985"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1736982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1736982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1736982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}