{"id":1735710,"date":"2022-11-11T22:03:07","date_gmt":"2022-11-12T03:03:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1735710"},"modified":"2022-11-11T22:03:10","modified_gmt":"2022-11-12T03:03:10","slug":"wave-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wave-goodbye\/","title":{"rendered":"Wave, Goodbye"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"float:left\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">4<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fwave-goodbye%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1735710&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><p><em>The following is the opening satirical monologue from \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\">The Andrew Klavan Show<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Well, Republicans were hoping for a Red Tsunami. Unfortunately, Red Sue Nami turned out to be an embarrassed Japanese girl, saying, \u201cOh rook, rots of Lepub-Ricans are rusing.\u201d We did, however, experience a red wave as we waved goodbye to Red Sue Nami.<\/p>\n<p>In the wake of these absurd puns, election analysts and other people without any discernible skill set, are trying to make sense of the mid-term results so that Americans can find out what the people who were wrong about everything will be wrong about next. This is called \u201cexpertise,\u201d and it\u2019s actually a great way to make a living while the country is going down the drain.<\/p>\n<p>One lesson we can take away is that, even though Democrats destroy the economy, fill our city streets with homelessness and crime, and sell pornography and sexual deviance to little children before butchering their bodies on the basis of an insane gender theory with no basis in fact, Republicans can still find just the right candidates to lose to them as long as the Democrats carefully select candidates who hate America and have had a stroke.<\/p>\n<p>Exit polls show that the issues voters cared about most included what color sneakers they were wearing and where they could score some of those powerful new strains of legalized marijuana so they could make themselves psychotic and everything would seem fine. Also inflation was a big issue because after shelling out for the dope nowadays, you have no money left to buy Oreos, which is a downer when you have the munchies and are psychotic. Legalized abortion was also important because many voters seem to remember having sex with someone last night while they were stoned out of their minds and if it now turns out they have a baby, they want to be able to kill it without violating their parole and getting sent back to prison.<\/p>\n<p>Among the biggest Democrat supporters were women, who seem to be allowed to vote now for some reason. Also young people lean Democrat, because they\u2019ve had the traumatic experience of not being aborted and want to make sure nothing like themselves ever happens again. The Democrats also seem to have had some success with their clever campaign strategy of turning everything to crap and then screaming about the weather, because climate change was named as a big issue when exit pollsters polled people who were exiting reality.<\/p>\n<p>But what effect did Donald Trump have and how can we get him to stop? Trump devised the strategy of only endorsing candidates who agreed that the last election had been stolen from him. This, in fact, did turn out to be a very big issue with the guy who still gives a rat\u2019s ass about the last election \u2014 it was also big with his best friend who pretended to give a rat\u2019s ass about the last election in order to avoid arguments and then voted Democrat because who gives a rat\u2019s ass about the last election?<\/p>\n<p>Now \u2014 despite the disappointing results, there were bright spots for Republicans. For instance, they lost in California, Oregon and Washington so they can\u2019t be blamed for those dumpster fires. And they do seem to have eked out a majority in the House so we now have an inspiring titan of a House speaker in Kevin McCarthy. Okay, I\u2019m joking about that one.<\/p>\n<p>But we do have to remember, winning the Senate was always going to be difficult because of the terrible map, which showed all of the races taking place in America where people have gone insane and keep electing Democrats who turn everything to crap and then scream about the weather which kind of does make sense when you really think about it and are stoned out of your mind on some of that great new dope.<\/p>\n<p>But what now? How can we endure the next two years of Democrats thinking they won because we lost? Well, first of all, let\u2019s try to stay calm. Remember there\u2019s always a new day and you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other until you get to Mexico where you can catch a plane to Norway. You also have to have faith that God is still in his heaven and so we\u2019re probably getting what we deserve which, all right, isn\u2019t really all that encouraging.<\/p>\n<p>But still, politics isn\u2019t everything. There\u2019s also all that great legal marijuana. And once you\u2019re psychotic, things won\u2019t look so disappointing, because you\u2019ll be a Democrat.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show&#038;source=gmail&#038;ust=1663776358757000&#038;usg=AOvVaw2lHm_ZdswXr4ZRFDBRYWtn\">Andrew Klavan<\/a>\u00a0Is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. A popular political satirist and Hollywood screenwriter, Klavan is also an award-winning novelist. Be sure to order his new novel today:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&#038;qid=&#038;sr=\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref%3Dtmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding%3DUTF8%26qid%3D%26sr%3D&#038;source=gmail&#038;ust=1663776358757000&#038;usg=AOvVaw2A-PHu0ZqsrknbrIeJJFOp\">A Strange Habit of Mind<\/a>, book two in the Cameron Winter<\/p>\n<p><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is the opening satirical monologue from \u201cThe Andrew Klavan Show.\u201d Well, Republicans were hoping for a Red Tsunami. Unfortunately, Red Sue Nami turned out to be an embarrassed Japanese girl, saying, \u201cOh rook, rots of Lepub-Ricans are rusing.\u201d We did, however, experience a red wave as we waved goodbye to Red Sue Nami. &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":641,"featured_media":1735713,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[541],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1735710","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-daily-wire"],"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cndimages.nyc3.digitaloceanspaces.com\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/IMG_2758-scaled-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735710","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1735710"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1735710\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1735713"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1735710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1735710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1735710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}