{"id":1672331,"date":"2022-10-04T14:20:47","date_gmt":"2022-10-04T18:20:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1672331"},"modified":"2022-10-04T14:23:27","modified_gmt":"2022-10-04T18:23:27","slug":"heres-why-the-panicked-left-needs-more-of-your-money-to-combat-climate-catastrophes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/heres-why-the-panicked-left-needs-more-of-your-money-to-combat-climate-catastrophes\/","title":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s Why The Panicked Left Needs More Of Your Money To Combat Climate Catastrophes"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"float:left\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">28<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fheres-why-the-panicked-left-needs-more-of-your-money-to-combat-climate-catastrophes%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1672331&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><p><em>The following is the satirical opening monologue from \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/episode\/ep-1099-the-world-s-right-rises-2\">The Andrew Klavan Show<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>With Hurricane Ian, a category Holy Crap storm, smashing into Florida, Democrats and other locusts on the amber waves of grain are warning Americans that if useless measures aren\u2019t quickly put in place to do nothing about climate change, we will soon be faced with an emergency situation in which hurricanes continue to strike the Gulf coast as they have done every year in human memory.<\/p>\n<p>According to green experts, climate change has caused these hurricanes and other storms to intensify to exactly the same level they were at before, while there are now far more climate catastrophes reported than there were before climate catastrophes were reported. As a result, whereas in the 1920\u2019s, nearly half a million people were killed in climate-related disasters, last year that number rose dramatically to 7,000 people. Now, of course, you might say that mathematically that\u2019s a 99% percent drop in climate-related deaths over the last hundred years. But that\u2019s where you would be wrong. Or right. One of those.<\/p>\n<p>On CNN, soon-to-be former prime-time host Don Lemon tried to explain the danger to his audience, before his audience had to leave the airport lounge to catch his connection to Denver. Lemon said, \u201cI grew up in Florida and I\u2019m making my very serious face so I can say with complete certainty that these storms are getting worse. In fact, I can pretty much say any garbage I want to with complete certainty since no one\u2019s listening anymore anyway. I\u2019m not even sure these cameras are still on. Why would they be?\u201d Lemon then wept quietly until he was carried off the set to make room for his replacement, a life-size cardboard cutout of Brian Stelter, who was, in turn, replaced by one of those battery-operated monkeys that play the cymbals, and will host CNN\u2019s latest show, Reliable Battery Operated Toys.<\/p>\n<p>As the hurricane approached the coast, climate activist Al Gore delivered an impassioned speech to the hotel masseuse he was chasing around the room. Gore said, \u201cWe must follow the science through a cartoon forest of the imagination into a gleaming city of make believe. Because if we fail to act soon, my most dire predictions will come true and the world will be destroyed ten years ago. Now come to papa, you little minx, and give me my special massage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>President and Venal Houseplant Joe Biden, speaking to a collection of mops in the broom closet he accidentally walked into, said, \u201cMy Inflation Reduction Act will make hurricanes a thing of the past as well as the present and future. And while the Inflation Reduction Act will do nothing to reduce inflation, it will spend 369 billion dollars on programs that will bring temperatures down by statistically zero sometime in the 22nd century. We must funnel those huge subsidies to my cronies running green energy scams and we must do it quickly before I forget what I was talking about. Why, look at you. Aren\u2019t you a pretty little girl? Oh wait, no, you\u2019re a mop. Sorry. But if you don\u2019t mind, I\u2019d still like to sniff your hair.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Spergie colonialist fat boy Bill Gates also responded to the hurricane in a speech to a large gathering of the Society of Men who Haven\u2019t Been Prosecuted for what They Did With Jeffrey Epstein\u2019s Underage Women \u2014 or the SMHBPTDJEU, a 501C3 charitable organization that raises money for bribes and assassinations. Gates said, \u201cWe must act on climate change at once because my private jet is parked outside with the engines running and I\u2019ve got to get home in time to transfer a billion dollars in stock to my foundation so I don\u2019t have to pay any taxes. So, like, follow the science or something and I\u2019ll see you later.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The calls to follow the science multiplied after the hurricane winds grew so strong they blew Dorothy\u2019s house from Kansas to the fictional land of OZ, or possibly the World Economic Forum, where she was surrounded by drunken dwarves in ridiculous costumes \u2014 or possibly the World Economic Forum \u2014 who danced around her in circles singing in high pitched voices, \u201cFollow, follow, follow, follow the science\u2026 we hear it is a wiz of a wiz because of the wonderful things it does. Ba-deep-a-dee-deep-a-dee-deep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And after all, if you can\u2019t trust imaginary drunken dwarves, sex criminals and old men with dementia, then you can\u2019t trust climate change activists at all.<\/p>\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.dailywire.com\/show\/the-andrew-klavan-show&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1663776358757000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2lHm_ZdswXr4ZRFDBRYWtn\">Andrew Klavan<\/a>\u00a0Is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. A popular political satirist and Hollywood screenwriter, Klavan is also an award-winning novelist. Be sure to PRE-ORDER his new novel today:\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;qid=&amp;sr=\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Strange-Habit-Mind-Cameron-Mysteries\/dp\/1613163517\/ref%3Dtmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding%3DUTF8%26qid%3D%26sr%3D&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1663776358757000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2A-PHu0ZqsrknbrIeJJFOp\">A Strange Habit of Mind<\/a>, book two in the Cameron Winter Mystery series.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The views expressed in this satirical\u00a0article are those of the author and do not necessarily<\/p>\n<p><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following is the satirical opening monologue from \u201cThe Andrew Klavan Show.\u201d With Hurricane Ian, a category Holy Crap storm, smashing into Florida, Democrats and other locusts on the amber waves of grain are warning Americans that if useless measures aren\u2019t quickly put in place to do nothing about climate change, we will soon be &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1672336,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1672331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1672331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1672331"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1672331\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1672336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1672331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1672331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1672331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}