{"id":1617035,"date":"2022-08-20T04:01:09","date_gmt":"2022-08-20T08:01:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1617035"},"modified":"2022-08-20T04:01:42","modified_gmt":"2022-08-20T08:01:42","slug":"hailey-biebers-case-for-marrying-before-your-life-is-figured-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/hailey-biebers-case-for-marrying-before-your-life-is-figured-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Hailey Bieber\u2019s Case For Marrying Before Your Life Is \u2018Figured Out\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">22<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fhailey-biebers-case-for-marrying-before-your-life-is-figured-out%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1617035&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><p>Glossy fashion magazines aren\u2019t usually a reputable source of sound marriage advice, but Hailey Bieber left Harper\u2019s Bazaar readers with a glimpse of marriage wisdom in a cover series interview published Tuesday.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLife is changing all the time, day to day, week to week, year to year,\u201d said Hailey, who is married to pop star Justin Bieber. \u201cI think a perfect example of that is over the last six months, both of us have gone through very serious health issues. You have to figure out how to deal with this sh-t as it comes, you know? There\u2019s a reason they say \u2018for better or for worse.\u2019 Like, that\u2019s for real!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s not a groundbreaking point, or at least it shouldn\u2019t be, but by celebrity marriage standards (and even by the standards of our culture at large), Hailey\u2019s outlook is something refreshing. Rachel Tashjian, the feature\u2019s author, described the Biebers\u2019 outlook as \u201cparadoxically progressive\u201d and a \u201cfigure-it-out-as-you-go approach.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>\u2018Get Married and Figure Things Out\u2019<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cMany people in their 20s and 30s see matrimony as something one does once life has reached stability,\u201d the magazine noted. \u201cBut Bieber, who wed at 21, sees it as only the beginning: You don\u2019t figure things out and get married but rather get married and figure things out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That analysis grasps part of the point. Bieber seems to understand that life is inevitably unpredictable and that marriage is a bedrock of commitment and stability in the midst of it, rather than something to top off an unforgiving 30-year plan and then be discarded when it no longer easily fits. <\/p>\n<p>But there\u2019s another part of the point that Bieber at least appears to be espousing. It\u2019s not just a lackadaisical \u201cfiguring it out as you go\u201d approach that doesn\u2019t take marriage seriously, but rather one of taking marriage <em>so<\/em> seriously that every other life circumstance to be figured out is secondary.<\/p>\n<p>Hailey\u2019s comments mirror what she said in 2019, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/celebrity-news\/pictures\/everything-justin-bieber-hailey-baldwin-have-said-about-marriage\/june-2022-210\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">emphasizing<\/a> that marriage is \u201calways going to be hard. It\u2019s a choice. You don\u2019t feel it every single day.\u201d <\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut there\u2019s something beautiful about it anyway \u2014 about wanting to fight for something, commit to building with someone,\u201d she continued. \u201cWe\u2019re going to change a lot. But we\u2019re committed to growing together and supporting each other in those changes.\u201d <\/p>\n<h2>Marriage Isn\u2019t Designed for Finished People<\/h2>\n<p>In the Harper\u2019s feature, Tashjian is right that many in Bieber\u2019s (and my own) generation see marriage as an afterthought to \u201cgetting your life together,\u201d the joining of two successful, finished, polished people who have already \u201cfound themselves\u201d and therefore do not need each other but simply find the partnership pleasant, convenient \u2014 and often dispensable. A 2021 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.deseret.com\/2022\/2\/9\/22924011\/is-marrying-later-always-better-study-family-marriage-byu-virginia-brad-wilcox\">study<\/a> found that the median age for a first marriage was 28 for women and 30 for men, up from 21 and 23 in 1970. We can\u2019t possibly be expected to make that kind of commitment so young, the rationale goes. What if we change our minds?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not advocating for rushing into marriage without serious and prayerful deliberation and preparation, for marrying in high school, or for getting hitched without some degree of financial stability and grasp on adulthood. But it\u2019s also dangerous to think of marriage as an \u201cextra\u201d topping on an already completely settled life. <\/p>\n<p>If you think of your life (or yourself) as an already-finished product, you likely won\u2019t see your own need for being sanctified by and growing with your spouse. Deliberately putting marriage off to spend an entire decade of adulthood focused on yourself might very well leave you self-focused, while one of the chief blessings of marriage is the sanctification of mutual self-sacrifice. And while getting married isn\u2019t necessary to live a fulfilled life, a default view that devalues marriage as secondary to \u201cself-discovery\u201d or \u201cself-love\u201d fractures families and societies alike.<\/p>\n<p>The idea that people can be \u201cfinished\u201d by 30 (or 40 or 60) is ridiculous, anyway. No matter how \u201ctogether\u201d their lives are, they never stop changing and growing (and that\u2019s a good thing!). Their spouses will change and grow, too, even if they waited to marry until making partner and establishing a nest egg. If two people both <em>think<\/em> they\u2019re done growing, though, it may be a lot harder to adjust as those changes inevitably come.<\/p>\n<h2>Liberation by Commitment<\/h2>\n<p>Alternatively, it\u2019s liberating to enter marriage with the understanding that your spouse is not a convenient roommate or earned reward for your previous successes but someone you will choose to love a thousand times after your wedding day, in a thousand different circumstances. You no longer have to worry about whether your marriage will \u201cfit\u201d into your other plans because all of those plans become secondary. <\/p>\n<p>Maybe that\u2019s the paradox Tashjian was picking up on. Choosing one person and forsaking all others \u2014 as Hailey noted, \u201cfor better or for worse\u201d \u2014 confers the delightful freedom that only such foundational commitment can harbor. It offers, as Hailey\u2019s husband Justin <a href=\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/celebrity-news\/pictures\/everything-justin-bieber-hailey-baldwin-have-said-about-marriage\/june-2022-210\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">put it<\/a> last year, the rewarding security of \u201cjust us showing up for each other every day, being consistent, me seeing that she wasn\u2019t going anywhere.\u201d With that at your back and by the grace of God, you can \u201cfigure out\u201d anything else.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\" \/>\n<p>\n  Elle Reynolds is an assistant editor at The Federalist, and received her B.A. in government from Patrick Henry College with a minor in journalism. You can follow her work on Twitter at @_etreynolds.<\/p>\n<div class=\"article-comments mt-30 mt-sm-60\">\n<div class=\"article-comments-container d-flex flex-column align-items-center py-30\">\n    <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"110\" height=\"106\" src=\"https:\/\/thefederalist.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/fdrlst-mark.svg\" class=\"img-fluid mb-20\" alt=\"The Federalist logo eagle mark\" \/>    <\/p>\n<p>Unlock commenting by joining the Federalist Community.<\/p>\n<p>    <a href=\"https:\/\/thefederalist.com\/plans\/pricing\/\" class=\"btn btn-on-white\">Subscribe<\/a>  <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Glossy fashion magazines aren\u2019t usually a reputable source of sound marriage advice, but Hailey Bieber left Harper\u2019s Bazaar readers with a glimpse of marriage wisdom in a cover series interview<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":500,"featured_media":2315279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1617035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/500"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1617035"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1617035\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2315279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1617035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1617035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1617035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}