{"id":1563942,"date":"2022-07-21T07:50:32","date_gmt":"2022-07-21T11:50:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1563942"},"modified":"2022-07-21T07:51:06","modified_gmt":"2022-07-21T11:51:06","slug":"no-j-lo-taking-new-husband-ben-afflecks-name-wasnt-an-act-of-patriarchy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/no-j-lo-taking-new-husband-ben-afflecks-name-wasnt-an-act-of-patriarchy\/","title":{"rendered":"No, J. Lo. Taking New Husband Ben Affleck\u2019s Name Wasn\u2019t An Act Of Patriarchy"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">28<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fno-j-lo-taking-new-husband-ben-afflecks-name-wasnt-an-act-of-patriarchy%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1563942&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/image-2022-07-20T131727.068.png\" class=\"ff-og-image-inserted\" alt=\"image\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Almost 20 years after Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck\u2019s tabloid romance ended in cold feet days before their wedding date, Bennifer finally made it to the altar over the weekend. Whatever you think of their relationship and the failed marriages they\u2019ve both left in their paths, J. Lo. raised feminist eyebrows when she announced she was taking her new husband\u2019s last name. In a newsletter informing fans of the Las Vegas nuptials, J. Lo. signed her name \u201cMrs. Jennifer Lynn Affleck,\u201d and a copy of the couple\u2019s marriage <a href=\"https:\/\/clerk.clarkcountynv.gov\/AcclaimWeb\/Document\/DocDetails?TransactionItemId=14969532\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">license<\/a> confirmed the new name.<\/p>\n<p>The name change sent a gaggle of New York Times writers <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/07\/18\/style\/jennifer-lopez-name-change.html#:~:text=Perhaps%20most%20notable%20of%20all,newlyweds%20sprinkled%20through%20social%20media.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">aflutter<\/a>, with Stella Bugbee wondering, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t he become Ben Lopez? What would that have done to his ego?\u201d and launching into \u201cthe conversation about power in heterosexual marriages.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The Independent\u2019s Victoria Richards was even more direct, with the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.independent.co.uk\/voices\/name-change-marriage-jennifer-lopez-ben-affleck-b2125407.html\">headline<\/a>, \u201cNo Woman Should Be Changing Her Name After Marriage In 2022.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo woman should be giving up her own identity for that of her husband,\u201d Richards insists. \u201cWe are not chattel.\u201d Of course, that premise assumes that a woman\u2019s identity is wrapped up in her surname, which is a superficial thing to define her personhood by (and incidentally, is usually taken from her father anyway). To assume a new name is not a sign of chattel ownership, though it is a symbolic nod of belonging. Husband and wife belong to each other, after all.<\/p>\n<p>When a woman gets married, her identity changes in the sense that being a wife to her husband becomes part of who she is. The same thing happens to a man, taking on the identity and responsibility of being a husband to her. What Richards is reacting so viscerally to is likely not the tradition of a name change so much as the giving of oneself that marriage demands from both parties. It\u2019s a foreign concept to our self-promoting society, a disconnect she admits when she broadly concludes that \u201cmarriage is rooted in misogyny.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen I got married in 2009, I changed my last name to my husband\u2019s,\u201d Richards continues. \u201cBut it never felt right. It never felt like \u2018me\u2019. And how could it? I\u2019d had\u00a0<em>my\u00a0<\/em>name,\u00a0<em>my\u00a0<\/em>identity, for 30 years. Yet overnight, I was expected to become someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yes, Victoria \u2014 husband and wife alike are expected to \u201cbecome someone else,\u201d though in most ways not overnight. Marriage is not simply a transactional arrangement in which two self-sufficient people engage in a trade-off that is always instantaneously profitable to both of them. It requires self-sacrifice, on some days with no immediate or equivalent return. It is a lifestyle of dying to self out of love for another, giving yourself to the other person \u2014 and in a healthy marriage where both spouses give such love, both spouses receive it. <\/p>\n<p>The beautiful paradox of a loving marriage is that you don\u2019t lose yourself, even though you give yourself away.<\/p>\n<p>Richards adds that she was \u201cswept away by the Disney-peddled ideal of love and \u2018becoming one\u2019 that is drummed into little girls practically from birth.\u201d It\u2019s a mistake to equivocate \u201cbecoming one\u201d with the idea of a woman \u201cbecoming\u201d her husband. Taking your husband\u2019s surname is a reflection of your respect for who he is and for his leadership of the new family your marriage begins. It\u2019s a commitment to your newly pledged unity. That respect and unity, in all their many forms, are vital to the process of \u201cbecoming one\u201d \u2014 husband and wife coming together to submit their own sins and selfishness to the sanctifying covenant of marriage. That act of becoming one is an act of loving submission, on both sides. <\/p>\n<p>Who knows what the new Mrs. Affleck\u2019s reasons for changing her legal name might have been \u2014 it\u2019s apparently something she <a href=\"https:\/\/www.eonline.com\/news\/1338322\/jennifer-lopez-originally-intended-to-take-ben-affleck-s-last-name-in-marriage-as-seen-in-2003-interview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">planned<\/a> to do when the couple was first engaged in 2003. What\u2019s for sure is that her very traditional act of changing her name, as a celebrity with a well-established personal brand, struck many (like Richards) as counter-cultural, a sign of where our society\u2019s self-appointed elites have found themselves.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHas taking a partner\u2019s last name evolved into a power move?\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2022\/07\/18\/style\/jennifer-lopez-name-change.html#:~:text=Perhaps%20most%20notable%20of%20all,newlyweds%20sprinkled%20through%20social%20media.\">asks<\/a> The New York Times\u2019 Sandra Garcia. \u201cThere is no doubt Jennifer is independent and a star in her own right. When such powerful women adopt their husband\u2019s name \u2014 sometimes from husbands that are equally powerful \u2014 does it morph the symbolism into an even bigger statement of confidence?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Garcia has struck on something, maybe accidentally. While there are legitimate, practical reasons for a woman not to take her husband\u2019s name in some circumstances, many times that name change is a declaration that \u201cI am not so insecure in my own worth or so vain of my own perceived image and independence that I\u2019m unwilling to mark my commitment with this external symbol.\u201d It is a statement of confidence, not just in herself but in her husband and in her marriage. It communicates the willingness to give, serve, and love that healthy marriages demand from both spouses, albeit sometimes in different and complementary ways.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe J. Lo. and Affleck understand that, and maybe not. Their histories are certainly messy. But if they can approach their new marriage with the same attitude that makes the act of taking your husband\u2019s name an act of love and not a chore, who knows? They might have a chance of bucking the Hollywood trend.<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\" \/>\n<p>\n  Elle Reynolds is an assistant editor at The Federalist, and received her B.A. in government from Patrick Henry College with a minor in journalism. You can follow her work on Twitter at @_etreynolds.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Almost 20 years after Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck\u2019s tabloid romance ended in cold feet days before their wedding date, Bennifer finally made it to the altar over the weekend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":500,"featured_media":1574819,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1563942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1563942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/500"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1563942"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1563942\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1574819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1563942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1563942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1563942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}