{"id":1464782,"date":"2022-05-05T08:45:16","date_gmt":"2022-05-05T12:45:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1464782"},"modified":"2022-05-05T08:45:18","modified_gmt":"2022-05-05T12:45:18","slug":"by-the-time-you-get-this-i-wont-be-alive-anymore-haunting-text-sent-by-former-miss-usa-to-her-mother-before-her-suicide-revealed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/by-the-time-you-get-this-i-wont-be-alive-anymore-haunting-text-sent-by-former-miss-usa-to-her-mother-before-her-suicide-revealed\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018By The Time You Get This, I Won\u2019t Be Alive Anymore\u2019: Haunting Text Sent By Former Miss USA To Her Mother Before Her Suicide Revealed"},"content":{"rendered":"<aside class=\"mashsb-container mashsb-main mashsb-stretched\"><div class=\"mashsb-box\"><div class=\"mashsb-count mash-medium\" style=\"&quot;\"><div class=\"counts mashsbcount\">50<\/div><span class=\"mashsb-sharetext\">SHARES<\/span><\/div><div class=\"mashsb-buttons\"><a class=\"mashicon-facebook mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.conservativenewsdaily.net%2Fbreaking-news%2Fby-the-time-you-get-this-i-wont-be-alive-anymore-haunting-text-sent-by-former-miss-usa-to-her-mother-before-her-suicide-revealed%2F\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-twitter mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=&amp;url=https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/?p=1464782&amp;via=ConservNewsDly\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"mashicon-subscribe mash-medium mash-nomargin mashsb-noshadow\" href=\"#\" target=\"_top\" rel=\"nofollow\"><span class=\"icon\"><\/span><span class=\"text\">Subscribe<\/span><\/a><div class=\"onoffswitch2 mash-medium mashsb-noshadow\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><\/div>\n            <\/div>\n                <div style=\"clear:both\"><\/div><\/aside>\n            <!-- Share buttons by mashshare.net - Version: 4.0.47--><div><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/dw-wp-production.imgix.net\/2022\/01\/Cheslie-Kryst-scaled.jpg?w=1200&#038;h=800&#038;ixlib=react-9.3.0\" class=\"ff-og-image-inserted\" alt=\"image\" \/><\/div>\n<p>Former Miss USA pageant winner Cheslie Kryst who committed suicide by jumping to her death from her New York City apartment on January 30, sent a haunting text to her mother just before she died.<\/p>\n<p>Kryst\u2019s mother, April Simpkins, appeared on \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/redtabletalk\/videos\/331195172274185\/\">Red Table Talk<\/a>\u201d with host Jada Pinkett Smith and revealed the poignant, heartbreaking details of the text.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFirst, I\u2019m sorry, by the time you get this, I won\u2019t be alive anymore,\u201d Simpkins read from the text. \u201cAnd it makes me even more sad to write this because I know this will hurt you the most.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think at that point I near blacked out,\u201d Simpkins said tearfully, \u201cbecause by the time I read the text an hour had passed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t even remember step-by-step what had happened,\u201d she confessed. \u201cI do remember I was calling my husband and screaming and he\u2019s saying, \u2018What? What?\u2019 and I got home and we\u2019re just trying to figure out what to do. I had not read the rest of her message; I just couldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen I scrolled it I could tell that it was long, and I thought, \u2018This is not good,\u2019\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>Simpkins then read the rest of the message, which stated:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p><em>I love you mom, and you are my best friend, and the person I\u2019ve lived for, for years. I wish I could stay with you, but I cannot bear the crushing weight of persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness any longer.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve never told you these feelings, because I\u2019ve never wanted you to worry, and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner \u2014 \u00a0I cry almost every day now, like I\u2019m in mourning. I wished for death for years. And I know you would want to know and want to help, but I haven\u2019t wanted to share this weight with anyone.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Regardless of that, thank you sincerely for being there for me in some of my loneliness moments without me even telling you I needed you. You have kept me alive and ready to face another day, because you answer every phone call and you are there for me at the drop of a hat. You listen to me and care when I tell you what goes on in my life and you\u2019ve always made me feel like if you loved me.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I love you more than any person I\u2019ve ever known. You\u2019ve done nothing wrong; you\u2019ve done everything right.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I no longer feel like I have any purpose in life. I don\u2019t know if I ever really did. \u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I\u2019ve pushed away most of my friends, and I can\u2019t fix any of it no matter how hard I\u2019ve tried. \u2026 So I will leave and rejoin God in heaven and hope to find peace there. I don\u2019t want to leave, but I genuinely feel like I have to if I want to escape my loneliness that feels like it has no end. I fought against depression for a long time, but it\u2019s won this time around.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>There aren\u2019t enough words in the world to describe my love and appreciation for you. You are the perfect mom and I will love you forever, even in death.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Feel free to share this message. People should know that you are the best mom in the world and that you were the best mom to me I ever could have hoped for.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>\u201cIt took me a while to read that all the way through,\u201d Simpkins remembered. \u201cI would read some sentences and then I would just collapse. But after I really absorbed it, I became thankful. Thankful to have her for 30 incredible years that I would watch her. She knew that I would needed to hear those words.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Simpkins recalled she and her husband quickly got on a plane to New York but were alerted by police as the plane was taxiing before taking off that their daughter had died. \u201cI don\u2019t remember the plane ride; I just remember my husband crying,\u201d she said on the show. She added that when she and her husband got to their hotel room, \u201cWe were both just on the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDepression is not always marked by someone laying in bed or unable to do things,\u201d Simpkins concluded. \u201cThere are people who are high-functioning and can get through the day because they wear \u2018the face,\u2019 and we all are taught to wear that face. Cheslie wore that face.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free hotline for individuals in crisis or distress or for those looking to help someone else. It is available 24\/7 at 1-800-273-8255.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Former Miss USA pageant winner Cheslie Kryst who committed suicide by jumping to her death from her New York City apartment on January 30, sent a haunting text to her<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":60,"featured_media":1481692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":"","fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1464782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1464782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/60"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1464782"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1464782\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1481692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1464782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1464782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.conservativenewsdaily.net\/breaking-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1464782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}