Reduce your divorce risk by attending church
Faith is detrimental to families.
That’s the prevailing message we often hear from our pop culture, corporate media, and social media. According to a headline from The Daily Beast, “Religious Kids are Jerks.” The Nation asks, “Is Conservative Christianity Bad for Marriage?” and claims that research supports this notion. Influencers like Pearl Davis suggest that Christianity offers little stability to marriages. In other words, the culture bombards us with examples and arguments that paint faith and family as a negative or inconsequential connection.
However, when we look at the statistics, we find that cruel, repressed, and unhappy religious unions are the exception rather than the rule. The data presented in my new book, Get Married, clearly shows that couples who attend church together generally have the happiest marriages and the lowest risks of divorce. Yes, there are exceptions like the Duggars, but they are not representative of the majority.
In my book, I identify four groups who are “Masters of Marriage,” and one of them is “The Faithful.” The Faithful are religious believers who regularly attend religious services several times a month or more. Their strong ties to their local religious communities and their faith bring greater spiritual significance to their marriages and family lives. According to Get Married‘s analysis of the General Social Survey, those who regularly attend church are more likely to be married (56 percent) compared to occasional attendees (44 percent) and those who rarely or never attend (39 percent).
Marriages among regular churchgoers are also more stable. The data tells us that Americans who regularly attend church are between 30 and 50 percent less likely to divorce. Additionally, they are about 15 percentage points more likely to report being happily married compared to secular couples.
So why are religious marriages generally stronger? In Get Married, I focus on three key factors: “norms,” “networks,” and “nomos.”
Firstly, religious congregations promote strong marital norms such as fidelity and forgiveness. Hearing these messages and witnessing them being lived out by fellow churchgoers helps couples navigate the challenges of marriage and family life more successfully, protecting them from destructive behaviors like substance abuse.
Secondly, the networks formed within religious communities provide valuable support. In a world where neighborly interactions are declining, regular church attendees have an advantage. They are part of a wider network of people who can offer practical help like babysitting and provide intergenerational relationships that offer different perspectives on life’s challenges.
Lastly, the “nomos” found in churches and religious communities strengthens unions. The collective endeavor affirmed by religion through rituals and beliefs grounds individuals in a sacred moral order. This belief in a higher power has a positive effect on couples, helping them weather the storms of life and increasing overall life satisfaction.
Specifically, in Get Married, I found that 55 percent of husbands who regularly attend church services with their wives report being “very satisfied” with life, while the number is 49 percent for wives. In contrast, only 27 percent of wives and 28 percent of husbands who do not attend religious services report being ”very satisfied” with life.
Furthermore, the American Family Survey indicates that parents who regularly attend religious services are more likely to engage in fun activities with their children, have regular family dinners, and do chores together as a family, even after considering factors like race, parental age, sex, education, and income.
The prevailing elite messaging about religion and marriage can undermine the norms, networks, and nomos that contribute to successful marriages. We know that stable married families lead to better financial security, happiness, health, and mental well-being. Most of the time, Americans who regularly worship at their local church are more likely to get married, stay married, and experience marital happiness.
As we conclude National Marriage Week and approach Valentine’s Day, let’s recognize that strong and stable families, including those supported by a faith community, are statistically proven to not only bring happiness but also advance the common good. It’s high time for popular culture and corporate media to provide a more accurate portrayal of the positive impact of faith and family connections.
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How does Brad Wilcox challenge the negative perception of faith in popular culture and media?
Riously,” says Brad Wilcox in his article titled “The Power of Faith in Strengthening Families.” Wilcox aims to challenge the prevailing message in pop culture, corporate media, and social media that faith is detrimental to families. He presents compelling evidence from his book, “Get Married,” which showcases how faith and religious attendance can have a positive impact on marriages and families.
Wilcox begins by addressing the negative perception of faith in popular culture. He highlights headlines from articles that suggest that religious kids are jerks, and conservative Christianity is bad for marriage. Influencers like Pearl Davis also argue that Christianity offers little stability to marriages. These examples, according to Wilcox, contribute to the notion that faith and family are negatively connected.
However, Wilcox argues that statistics tell a different story. He presents data from his book, “Get Married,” which shows that couples who attend church together generally have the happiest marriages and the lowest risks of divorce. While there are exceptions like the Duggars, who have faced controversy, they are not representative of the majority. Wilcox identifies four groups he calls “Masters of Marriage,” and one of them is “The Faithful” – religious believers who regularly attend religious services several times a month or more. He explains that their strong ties to their local religious communities and their faith bring greater spiritual significance to their marriages and family lives.
According to Wilcox’s analysis of the General Social Survey, those who regularly attend church are more likely to be married compared to occasional attendees and those who rarely or never attend. Regular churchgoers also have more stable marriages, being 30-50% less likely to divorce than those who don’t attend. Additionally, they report being happier in their marriages compared to secular couples.
Wilcox delves into three key factors – “norms,” “networks,” and “nomos” – to explain why religious marriages are generally stronger. Firstly, religious congregations promote strong marital norms such as fidelity and forgiveness. The messages couples hear and witness being lived out by fellow churchgoers help them navigate the challenges of marriage more successfully. Secondly, the networks formed within religious communities provide valuable support. Regular church attendees have access to a wider network of people who can offer practical help like babysitting and provide intergenerational relationships offering different perspectives on life’s challenges.
Lastly, Wilcox emphasizes the importance of “nomos” found in churches and religious communities. This collective endeavor affirmed by religion through rituals and beliefs grounds individuals in a sacred moral order. This belief in a higher power positively affects couples, aiding them in weathering the storms of life and increasing overall life satisfaction.
In conclusion, Brad Wilcox challenges the prevailing negative portrayal of faith in relation to families by presenting statistics and evidence from his book, “Get Married.” He shows that couples who attend church together generally have happier and more stable marriages. He highlights the role of strong marital norms, support networks, and the belief in a higher power in strengthening religious marriages. Wilcox’s article provides a counterargument to the notion that faith is detrimental to families, urging readers to reconsider the positive impact of faith on marriages and families.
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