Teens Convicted of Attacking Prominent DOGE Staffer Avoid Prison Time

Two 15-year-old teenagers, a boy and a girl, were sentenced to probation in Washington, D.C. after being charged with assault and attempted carjacking in connection with an attack on Edward “Big Balls” Coristine,a former Department of Government Efficiency employee. The incident occurred in the early hours of August 3, when Coristine intervened to protect a friend from a group of youths. Despite being violently attacked-resulting in a broken nose and concussion-Coristine praised the police for their swift response,which led to the apprehension of two suspects while others remain at large. The judge emphasized the juvenile court’s focus on rehabilitation during sentencing. Following the attack, former President Donald Trump federalized the D.C. police and deployed the National Guard, contributing to a notable drop in crime in the area.


Two teenagers who were apprehended following an assault on former Department of Government Efficiency employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine in August received probation in a Washington, D.C. court for their crimes on Tuesday.

A 15-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl faced assault and attempted carjacking charges for the incident, which took place in the early morning hours of Aug. 3.

“On Tuesday, the 15-year-old boy was sentenced to 12 months probation. The girl pleaded guilty to simple assault and will serve nine [months] probation,”  CBS affiliate WUSA-TV reported. According to the judge, her lawyer had asked for four and a half months.

“The judge emphasized that the purpose of juvenile court is to rehabilitate, not to punish. She said she hopes the teenagers learn from their probationary period,” the outlet said.

Coristine, 19, reportedly told the defendants via a video link during the sentencing hearing, “I hope you can figure things out and be ready for the consequences.” He also thanked the police for their quick work in bringing the two to justice, according to the New York Post.

Last month, Coristine recounted to Fox News host Jesse Watters regarding the fateful attack in early August, “I was walking one of my friends back to her car, and as we’re walking to the car, there’s a group of 10 guys right across the street … They start shouting at us. And really quickly, I knew something was really off about the situation.”

“So she unlocks the car, I rush her into the driver’s seat. I close the door behind her, and she’s able to lock the doors. Right as I turn around, they’re right up on me — they’re just a few feet away,” he said.

“They slam me against the car and start throwing a bunch of punches. I keep my hands up. I’m getting a lot of punches here and I’m just trying to protect my head the best way that I can,” Coristine added.

He concluded, “Luckily, the whole thing didn’t last too long; the police showed up pretty quickly, so I was very fortunate I only came out with a broken nose and a concussion. It could have been a lot worse.”

The police report said, “During the assault, a [Metropolitan Police Department] cruiser pulled into the block causing the suspects to flee. Two of the suspects were apprehended by the on-scene officers. One of the victims was treated on scene by DC Fire and EMS for injuries sustained in the assault.

“Multiple suspects remain outstanding,” the report said, and authorities encouraged anyone who had knowledge of the incident to contact the Metropolitan Police Department.

President Donald Trump reported following the attack, “Somebody from @DOGE was very badly hurt last night … a young man who was beat up by a bunch of thugs in D.C. Either they’re going to straighten their act out … or we’re going to have to federalize and run it the way it’s supposed to be run.”

Trump ultimately federalized the D.C. police and sent in the National Guard. Since then, crime has fallen dramatically.




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