Jeff Bezos Gets Funny Reminder That He’s Not God Right Before Star-Studded Wedding

Jeff Bezos may be able to control when your groceries and books get to your house, and he may want to control where you travel and what you eat.

At least it’s good to know that he can’t control the weather, though — as his wedding in Venice, Italy, amply proved.

Bezos, in case you’ve been staying away from the news these past few weeks, is marrying Lauren Sánchez, his second wife. (His separation from his first wife was due in part to, ahem, other control issues regarding his extramarital relations with Sánchez, leading to what is — or was, at the time — the world’s most expensive divorce, valued at $38 billion. But I digress, especially since he’s still worth north of $200 billion.)

The wedding itself cost over $50 million, which is rather cheap when you consider the divorce cost. From The New York Times, last week:

Since their relationship became public six years ago, Ms. Sánchez and Mr. Bezos have seemed to enjoy the limelight. Their romance was on display at Wimbledon, at President Trump’s second inauguration, at countless dinners and galas and in the glossy pages of gossip magazines.

And on Thursday, a roster of celebrities began to hit the town as the first of the weekend’s festivities began, with guests like Tom Brady, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom, Oprah Winfrey, Usher Raymond and a raft of Kardashians stepping gingerly into motorboats, careful of their finery. The bride herself wore an embroidered, off-the-shoulder dress by Schiaparelli to a Thursday night event at the Madonna dell’Orto complex, which includes a Renaissance-era church.

🤔🤡🤣🤣Lauren Sánchez and Jeff Bezos entering a water taxi for one of their wedding events. pic.twitter.com/fBAMHP017o

— Simon⚔️ (@Simon_555_) June 27, 2025

However, it seems that Mother Nature had something to say about how much control $50 million buys.

According to Page Six, the couple was forced to cut short their welcome party in the Italian city after a thunderstorm on Thursday.

“The bride was seen fleeing Madonna dell’Orto church for her water taxi as staff held umbrellas to keep her dry,” the outlet reported.

And I bring you more heartening news from the event: “Kim and Khloé Kardashian also attempted to avoid the rain while making their exit from the bash. Kris, Kendall and Kylie Jenner were also spotted leaving quickly.”

“It just goes to show you can have all the money in the world but you can’t control the weather,” one onlooker said. “Although an Italian saying says a wet bride is a happy and lucky bride.”

Well, lucky or not, it’s here worth noting that Bezos is one of America’s greatest climate hypocrites.

In 2022, it was reported that an energy organization he backed spent obscene amounts of money to lobby politicians into passing the so-called “Inflation Reduction Act,” a bill that has as much to do with reducing inflation as a Doubletree Hotel has to do with forests. The legislation was a thinly disguised, watered-down Green New Deal.

Of course, Bezos is one of the great contributors to climate change, as well. He’s been known to take his $65 million private jet to places such as, say, the United Nations Climate Change Conference. I’m also pretty sure those water taxis in Venice weren’t sail-powered, either.

And then consider the fact that he’s a booster of lab-grown meat to replace actual meat. My guess is that neither Bezos nor Sánchez was having it on their plate in Venice, but it’ll keep the peasants fed.

All those attempts to play God, all that money, and God remains undefeated. Remember the words of the prophet in the book of Lamentations: “Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that good and bad come?” Not one dollar or one trillion can change that — a comforting thought, unless you’re Jeff Bezos.

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