If Mail-Order Abortion Existed 40 Years Ago, I Wouldn’t Be Here
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Lauren Eden’s piece tells teh story of her mother’s unplanned pregnancy at 19, during which six abortion attempts were made and a two-day dilation and evacuation could have ended Eden’s life.With limited resources,her father initially couldn’t travel to Dallas,but a couple from his church funded the trip and offered housing and ongoing support,helping her mother choose life. Eden was born prematurely at 26 weeks, and she only learned the full birth story at age 21, which fostered forgiveness and compassion. Since then, she has spoken to thousands of women about the need for love and practical support for those facing unplanned pregnancies, criticizing the rise of mail-order abortion drugs that isolate women and reduce access to in-person care. The narrative emphasizes the lifelines provided by pregnancy centers, churches, and community groups, and expresses gratitude for the courage of her mother and those who supported them, as Eden continues her advocacy and her book, Miracle Baby: The Story I Was Born to Tell.
When she was 19 years old, my mother tried to abort me six different times. She had just started college and had big dreams that included either an engineering or law degree, and a baby interrupted that plan. After scheduling abortions in three different states, she traveled to Dallas to start a two-day dilation and evacuation procedure that would end her pregnancy and my life.
Mom had come from a broken home, and even at 19 years old, she carried generational trauma that no doubt weighed heavily on her as she was faced with what seemed like an impossible decision: college or motherhood. Dad urged her to continue the pregnancy, but she was determined to end it.
After starting the dilation and evacuation procedure in Dallas, she began to have doubts about her decision. My dad reached out to her to offer support, and she agreed that if he would come to Dallas to help her, she wouldn’t go through with the abortion. A poor college student himself, my dad didn’t have gas, money, or any resources to make the long drive to Dallas. It was only after a couple from his church, Bill and Janna, offered to help that he was able to make it to Dallas to be with Mom. Bill and Janna not only paid for that trip but also offered Mom a place to live and unconditional support throughout her pregnancy.
The love my mom received gave her the courage and resources to choose life, my life. And even after that decision, support from Dad, Bill, and Janna gave her the courage every day to keep making the same decision, even when it felt hard.
Soon after, I was born at only 26 weeks of gestation. I grew up knowing I was born prematurely but never knowing that failed abortion attempts were part of my birth story. My parents loved me and my siblings unconditionally, and my mom and I had a strong bond that continued even after I went to college.
It wasn’t until I was 21 years old that Mom told me my full birth story. In June 2004, she knocked on my bedroom door, sat beside me, and said, “Lauren, I never meant to keep this from you, but I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
She shared the details of every abortion attempt with me. Slowly, as I listened to her, my shock turned to compassion and forgiveness. There’s no way to explain my response except to say God had prepared my heart for what she would say.
At only 19, my young mother had faced the hardest days of her life, but thanks to support from friends, love from my dad, and grace from God, she chose my life even when she thought hers, as she knew it, would be over.
Since learning about my abortion survival story, I’ve had the opportunity to share it with thousands of women across the country. As I speak to women’s groups, churches, and conferences, I’ve encountered women just like my mom — young, unexpectedly pregnant, and terrified by what comes next.
These women deserve love and support, but instead, they are offered fear and isolation from the abortion industry. Today, women like my mom are told to visit a website and order abortion drugs. They aren’t examined in person by a doctor, they aren’t screened for abuse or coercion, and they aren’t asked if they need support to help make their decision.
Mail-order abortion drugs and the abortion industry are pushing convenience over connection, and women are suffering as a result. At a time when a woman needs support, she’s being forced to self-manage an abortion alone, in her bathroom. She’s being sent to online chatbots and mail-order drug websites for answers, often in other states, rather than her local doctor.
Women like Mom need to know they have options and that someone cares. They need to know their lifeline isn’t dangerous abortion drugs and nameless, faceless abortion drug websites in California or New York. They need to know that help is available and that pregnancy centers, churches, and community organizations will walk alongside them, providing practical resources and support through pregnancy and beyond.
My mom stayed connected to that support and was able to accept it when she was ready. Other women deserve the same.
I’m thankful she took that help when it was offered to her, and I’m thankful she chose life for me.
Lauren Eden is an abortion survivor and the author of “Miracle Baby: The Story I was Born to Tell.”
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