Former DOGE staffer ‘Big Balls’ recalls Washington assault
The article recounts the experience of Edward Coristine, a former employee of the department of government Efficiency (DOGE), who survived an assault in Washington, D.C. This incident sparked a crackdown on crime led by then-President Donald Trump. In his first interview about the attack,Coristine described how he was assaulted late at night while escorting a female friend to her car. A group of boys suddenly confronted and attacked him,leaving him with a broken nose and a concussion after police arrived quickly.
Coristine reflected on the bizarre nature of the attempted carjacking, noting that his friend’s car was inexpensive and unlikely to be targeted for theft, suggesting other motives. He also shared personal background about his grandfather, a KGB agent turned CIA double agent who was executed in 1987, inspiring Coristine’s dedication to public service. Motivated by concerns about national issues like the growing $37 trillion debt, Coristine joined the DOGE in an effort to help improve government efficiency during the Trump management.
Former DOGE employee recalls assault that triggered Washington crime crackdown
Former Department of Government Efficiency employee Edward Coristine, better known as “Big Balls,” recalled his August assault that triggered President Donald Trump’s takeover of Washington, D.C., in his first interview since the incident.
Coristine was asked about what transpired the night he was attacked in an appearance on Fox News’s Jesse Waters Primetime. He replied that he was walking his woman friend to her car after a party at around 3 a.m. when a group of ten boys across the street began to shout at the pair, soon alerting him that “something was really off about the situation.”
“She unlocks the car, I rush her into the driver’s seat, quickly close the door behind her, and lock the doors. Right as I turn around, they are right up on me, just a few feet away. They slammed me against the car, they started throwing a bunch of punches. I keep my hands up. I’m just like, alright, I’m getting a lot of punches here. Just trying to protect my head the best way I can,” Coristine recalled.
“Luckily, the whole thing did not last too long. The police showed up pretty quickly. I was fortunate I only came out with a broken nose and a concussion. It could have been a lot worse,” he said.
Coristine said he made sure to stand up on his feet, as he felt it would’ve been much worse if he’d been knocked to the ground.
“So you stay on your feet and protect the head because, you know what, Big Balls also has big brains,” host Jesse Waters quipped.
Coristine said the carjacking didn’t make sense, as his friend’s automobile was “like the cheapest car on the block. So it felt like there might have been something else going on there.”
The former DOGE employee also spoke about what brought him to the organization in the first place, recounting the story of his grandfather, Valery “Gentile” Martinov, a KGB agent who turned into a double agent for the CIA, and was executed in 1987 for his work.
THE CARJACKING HEARD ROUND THE WORLD
“I feel this great responsibility to serve my country. My grandfather was this KGB double agent for the Americans and he died so that I could come here and live in this free country that I love so much,” Coristine said.
“When I started seeing these problems that we’ve got as a government, this $37 trillion national debt and counting, in the interest on that is just absurd, I was like, this is insane, is there any way I can help solve this? In this administration, there was a chance. So, of course, when I saw the opportunity, I signed right up,” he added.
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