Cops Post ‘Pooch Pirate Alert’ Showing ‘Good Boys Gone Bad’

Porch pirates and their dastardly deeds are not usually a laughing matter.

(Except in videos where the thieves get their comeuppance by means of glitter bombs or other surprises they unwittingly discover in decoy packages. It’s hard not to laugh at those.)

The Oklahoma City Police Department recently had entirely too much fun sharing a social media post featuring a different sort of porch pirate.

Or, more precisely, “pooch pirates,” as the department dubbed a doggie duo that recently turned to a life of crime.

The video, apparently from someone’s doorbell camera, caught the two culprits red-handed (red-pawed?) making off with a parcel.

First, one mutt wandered into the frame and moseyed over to the area of the doorbell. He was soon joined by an accomplice.

After a bit of snuffling around, the first dog fled the scene of the crime carrying something. His buddy followed.

It must have been a slow crime day in Oklahoma City, because the department’s social media post trotted out nearly every bad pun in the book to describe the incident:

“Who let the dogs out… and onto your porch?!” the caption inquired.

“Suspects: two four-legged masterminds pulling off a paws and grab heist in broad daylight.

“Evidence shows clear intent, flawless teamwork, and zero remorse — just pure tail-wagging confidence.”

“They dragged the evidence off-site like pros, but we were able to recover the goods.”

POOCH PIRATES

A Paws & Grab porch heist was caught on cam in OKC. These thieves are no bark all bite! Evidence shows flawless teamwork & zero remorse.

Charges: Impersonating Master Thieves & Felony Cuteness. Stay vigilant—no package is safe from these good boys gone bad! 🐾📦 pic.twitter.com/OoUsCXnvCb

— Oklahoma City Police (@OKCPD) February 2, 2026

The reel cut to a still shot of the aftermath, which showed a padded mailer chewed to pieces and some small metal tools lying in the grass.

“It wasn’t ‘Kibble & Bits,’ just drill bits!” the post explained.

It was clearly an open-and-shut case, but the OCPD was not yet out of jokes:

“These thieves were no bark, all bite!

“If you recognize these fur-ocious felons give them a doggy biscuit.

“Charges pending: Conspiracy to Commit Snack Theft, Paw-sitively Impersonating Master Thieves, and Being Fur-ociously Adorable.

The department concluded, “Stay vigilant, OKC — your packages aren’t safe from these good boys gone bad!”

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