A Husband And Kids Doubles Women’s Likelihood Of Being Happy

It has been a long feminist trope that marriage and motherhood are garbage chutes to misery for women. Feminist sociologist Jesse Bernard warned in her 1972 book, The Future of Marriage, “[M]arriage introduced such profound discontinuities into the lives of women as to constitute genuine emotional health hazards.” Lyz Lenz, in her 2024 New York Times bestseller This American Ex-Wife: How I Ended My Marriage and Started My Life, holds the same hellish view of matrimony. Early in, she explains, “Marriage, it seemed, was this: the eternal return of trash on my floor.”

It is no wonder that only 32 percent of women believe marriage and motherhood lead to fuller, happier lives for them. And 47 percent of single young women believe singleness is a more direct route to happiness for women than being wed. According to recent Pew findings, fewer young women than men say they want to have children one day.

But what are the facts? Are marriage and motherhood really tickets to increased misery? The good news is that strong data tell us the opposite is true.

The General Social Survey, the academic gold standard in social science measurements, tells us that among women age 18 to 55 in the United States, 40 percent of those who are married and have children report being “very happy.” Only 25 percent of married childless women report being very happy, while just 22 percent of unmarried childless women do. Unmarried mothers? Only 17 percent report being “very happy.” And during the Covid pandemic, it was those married with kids who were most likely to report being very happy during that very trying time.

A new report from scholars at the Institute for Family Studies demonstrates these findings are more of a trend than unique. Fielding the Women’s Well-Being Survey (WWS) of 3,000 women in the U.S. in early March, these family scholars wanted to understand why married mothers are the happiest among women. The lead researcher is noted scholar, San Diego State University’s Jean W. Twenge.

This team reports “Consistent with previous surveys, our new survey finds that married mothers are happier than unmarried women or women without children.” In fact, they found, “Nearly twice as many married mothers say they are ‘very happy’ as unmarried women without children.” Their analysis controlled for confounding factors like age, family income, and education, “so these factors cannot be the reason for the differences.”

Forty-seven percent of married mothers report their “life is enjoyable most or all of the time.” Forty-three percent of married women without children indicated this was true. Only 40 percent of unmarried mothers and 34 percent of unmarried women without children said their life was highly enjoyable.

So, this team asked, “Why are married mothers happier” than their peers? They assert, “Both marriage and motherhood appear to play a role, though in different ways.”

They note that some past research has indicated that marriage is linked to greater social isolation, but these are not strong findings.

Twenge and her team report “married women are only about half as likely as unmarried women to often feel lonely …”  Specifically, “our survey finds that married women are markedly less likely to feel lonely: 11 percent of married mothers and 9% of married women without children feel lonely most or all of the time, compared to 23% of unmarried mothers and 20% of unmarried childless women” [emphasis added].

Their survey also shows that married mothers “are just as likely to say they feel satisfied with their number of friends as other women.” Thus, they conclude that social connection appears to be richer and more rewarding among married moms, compared to their peers of other relational situations.

This research also notes that greater physical touch provided by a husband and children can boost overall happiness and contentment in life. They state, “In the WWS, married women (both with and without children) report significantly higher levels of touch than unmarried women” [emphasis added]. Fifty-one percent of married mothers received satisfying levels of physical affection while only 17 percent of unmarried childless women did. Fifty-eight percent of married mothers report “most days I get a hug and a kiss” while only 18 percent of spouseless and childless women indicate this is true.

Twenge’s team contends, “Thus, one factor that explains why married women are happier than their unmarried peers is that they have more regular opportunities for kissing, hugging, and snuggling.”

A final characteristic driving greater happiness in married moms is finding bigger meaning and purpose in life. WWS survey data shows married women with children are “most likely to report a clear purpose in life” believing that “what I do in life is valuable and worthwhile.” Thirty-three percent of married moms indicate this, while only 20 percen of unmarried childless women do. Add to this, the fact that 49 percen of married mothers say their “life feels meaningful all or most of the time” while only 32 percent of unmarried women without kids do.

Yes, motherhood comes with challenges. This report notes “Mothers are more likely than non-mothers to feel overwhelmed and exhausted each day.” Married and unmarried mothers also say they have less time for themselves. “Yet, as we have shown, married mothers simultaneously report greater happiness, meaning and purpose.”

These are not life goals one runs directly toward. They are the fruit of giving our lives to others, namely a spouse and our children. These scholars conclude their report with this strong statement.

Contrary to the common narrative that women who marry and have children are unhappy, the 2025 Women’s Well-Being Survey finds that the opportunities for greater touch, less loneliness, and more meaning seem to provide married mothers the most joyful lives.

This conclusion is certainly worth celebrating and circulating to young women.

Glenn T. Stanton is the director of family formation studies at Focus on the Family and the author of “The Myth of the Dying Church.”