If Your Child Hates School, Maybe School Is The Problem

“I hate school!” Few words strike dread in a parent’s heart more than these. As children, parents, and teachers head back to school, it’s often hard to tell whether the problem is serious — bullying, anxiety, or learning challenges — or something more mundane, such as boredom or fatigue. Too often, though, children who express a dislike for school are met with a shrug or a version of: “That’s just life. Deal with it.”

But what if the problem isn’t with students, but with the way we think about learning itself? What if the school system is the problem?

These are questions Kerry McDonald explores in her new book, Joyful Learning: How to Find Freedom, Happiness, and Success Beyond Conventional Schooling. Drawing on research, stories from families and educators, and personal experience, McDonald makes the case that when curiosity and autonomy are prioritized over compliance and standardization, children often learn more — and enjoy it. It’s a refreshing and timely take in an education environment that treats drudgery and burnout as a rite of passage.

As a former homeschooling mom, I’ve seen firsthand how children thrive when they have some autonomy over their learning. Beyond that, in my role at the Cato Institute’s Center for Educational Freedom, I’ve spoken to hundreds of education entrepreneurs who have created unique learning environments to serve the diverse needs of their communities. One common refrain I hear from these founders and the families who attend their schools is that the students are engaged and love coming to school. I’ve even had parents tell me their children are bummed when the weekend rolls around. When students have buy-in and the learning environment suits their needs, absenteeism and detachment aren’t problems.

Parents and teachers are increasingly realizing that a system designed in the mid-1800s doesn’t meet the needs of today, and they’re no longer willing to just sit back and put up with those shortcomings. Rather, they are establishing options such as microschools, which are small, personalized learning environments that typically follow a more child-directed approach; hybrid schools, where children learn in person some days and at home other days; and à la carte options, which allow parents to pick and choose various courses. 

Fortunately, in many states, public policy is keeping up with these new ideas about education. There are school choice programs in 35 states, plus Washington, D.C., and Puerto Rico, that allow some funding to follow students to education options beyond their assigned district schools. While some states only include private school tuition as an eligible expense, education savings accounts (ESAs) that can be used for a wide range of educational expenses are becoming the norm. 

Florida’s expansive ESAs have helped spur a remarkable ecosystem of learning options in the Sunshine State, many of which are highlighted in Joyful Learning. For example, there’s Kind Academy, a microschool in Coral Springs that was founded in 2016 by Iman Alleyne, a former public school teacher who wanted a better environment for her son and herself. At Kind, children are in mixed-age classrooms and given more choice and freedom of movement throughout the day compared to conventional schools. A few years ago, Alleyne began a “Launch Your Kind” program that provides support with curriculum, marketing, enrollment, payment systems, and more to help education entrepreneurs open their own Kind Academies. 

The important takeaway from all this is that learning can and should be enjoyable. But how can parents tell if the problem is with the student or the school? If your child consistently tries to wiggle out of responsibilities everywhere — at home, with friends, and in activities — then switching schools may not help. However, if you have a child who used to love learning and now dreads school, or who thrives everywhere except in the classroom, that tells you something different. If they put in effort when something is important to them, are honest when they mess up, and show basic respect to others, the issue probably isn’t their character. Maybe they’re stuck in a system that doesn’t work for how they learn. As McDonald points out, when kids find joy in learning, they naturally develop the very qualities parents want, such as curiosity, grit, and genuine respect.

Parents increasingly have a variety of alternatives if their children dislike school. And there are incredible resources available to support them if they decide to create their own entity, as Alleyne did in Florida. Similarly, for teachers who are fed up with the limitations of the school system, the solution may be to start their own school. Both parents and teachers can find inspiration and advice in Joyful Learning, which is as much a how-to manual for creating new learning centers as it is a critique of conventional schooling.

Joyful Learning reminds us that education doesn’t have to be bleak to be effective. The best learning often happens when children are curious, engaged, and free to explore. As another school year begins, parents and educators would do well to ask not just what children are learning but how they’re experiencing it. A little more joy might go a long way.

Colleen Hroncich is a policy analyst at the Cato Institute’s Center for Educational Freedom where Kerry McDonald is an adjunct scholar.