Comey Speaks In Taylor Swift Lyrics In Anti-Trump Screed

In a creepy Substack video, Trump-hating James Comey, former FBI director-turned amateur life coach, uses Taylor Swift lyrics to bash the president.

He titles the five-minute rant, “On Taylor Swift,” but spends a lot of time griping about Trump, who last week had the nerve to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin and try to jumpstart negotiations to end the deadly Ukraine-Russian War. 

“Donald Trump is still president and still humiliating America on a national stage, standing next to Vladimir Putin. It’s like a dream, a bad dream you can’t wake up from,” Comey whines, offering no explanation for why trying to end a war is a bad thing, or what he thinks Trump should do instead.  

Comey goes on to insult over half the citizens in the United States.

“I don’t want us to become like Trump and his followers,” Comey said. “There are far more decent, honest, kind people in America than there are mean jerks. And don’t get me wrong, we have our jerks — millions of them. You may have noticed in particular, there’s a stunning coarseness and ugliness in the Republican Party today. It’s upsetting, but it’s also a minority of America.”

Yes, he calls Trump and millions of his supporters jerks, then claims Republicans are a minority despite Trump’s win in the 2024 election. Comey doesn’t have specific complaints, so he resorts to name calling.

What a jerk.

But don’t worry, hope can be found in Taylor Swift’s music, Comey coaches.

“I don’t want to talk about that bad dream this week. I want to talk about a truly inspirational public figure named Taylor Swift,” Comey said. He mentioned that he watched Swift’s podcast with Travis Kelce and waxed on about the wisdom in her lyrics.

“You see Taylor Swift, and I go way back,” Comey explains.

Whoa. Does Taylor know that, or does she need a restraining order?

“I went to my first concert of hers 15 years ago. I’ve been to a second, and I have helped financially support the attendance of a lot of family members and others.”

OK, Comey and Swift don’t “go way back” like friends; Comey is (allegedly) a fan.

“I’m in a family’s Swiftie group chat. I know all her music, and I listen to it on my headphones when I cut the grass. So yes, I have a favorite of hers, although honestly, for me, it’s a tie between All Too Well — 10 minute version, and Exile featuring Bon Iver,” Comey said in the video in which he appeared to be reading a script.

It is hard to believe a 64-year-old man who has been married to the same woman for 37 years names two very depressing break-up songs written outside his prime pop culture era as his favorite music. Come on; he’s old enough to remember ABBA.

But then, Comey says a lot of things that are hard to believe. Like the time in 2016 when he said there was not enough evidence to prosecute then-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton over the private email server in her home and the destruction of 31,000 emails off her hard drive. Or Comey’s involvement in legitimizing the fake Russia narrative that hobbled President Donald Trump’s first term. Or on his Substack bio where he claims, he is “really quite funny.” There is no evidence of humor.

In recent weeks, reams of incriminating FBI and CIA documents have been released by the Trump Administration that could land Comey in court or worse over his troubling actions. And although he didn’t mention the uncomfortable scrutiny he is under, it could explain Comey’s motivation for some of the mean things he said in his video.

“… while our elderly, makeup covered president is posting about whether Taylor Swift is still hot and declaring that he can’t stand her, what is she doing? Living her best life, producing great music, and as she urged all of us to do during the podcast, not giving the jerks power over her mind.”

On the heels of that jerkwad description of Trump, Comey goes on to explain that being less polite can make you, “Less happy, more depressed, and angrier about life.”

Before quoting lyrics asking “why you got to be so mean?” Comey teaches, “We can’t stop people from being jerks. What we can do is stop it from hurting us, from changing us.”

Comey may finally be held accountable for the years of distress and chaos he caused while he was director of the FBI. People get nasty when they are painted into a corner, so it is not surprising that he has again come out swinging at Trump. It’s just weird that he used Taylor Swift’s coattails to do it. Perhaps he can’t get enough attention without dropping a celebrity name. From here on, pay no attention to Comey, unless he says something of substance (he won’t) and backs it up with authenticated documents.

Beth Brelje is an elections correspondent for The Federalist. She is an award-winning investigative journalist with decades of media experience.