Local Man Swims In Creek, Media Freak Out

The secretary of Health and Human Services took a dip in Washington D.C.’s Rock Creek with his grandkids over Mother’s Day weekend. If you’re wondering why that deserved a story from all the major corporate media outlets, that’s a great question.

It appears the city of D.C. takes such a prehistoric approach to waste management that none of its waterways are deemed safe for swimming, including Northwest D.C.’s Rock Creek, the site of the Kennedy family’s excursion. A hygienic person might think that septic incompetence scandalous — but Washington’s hometown paper and the rest of its media ilk have pinned the outrage on Kennedy for taking a Sunday afternoon plunge.

Because D.C. dumps sewage into its waterways, Rock Creek is apparently ripe for E. coli and bacteria caused by fecal matter. Never mind the fact that bodies of water everywhere are home to fish and other organisms that all produce waste. (Though, to be fair, D.C. is home to some next-level crap.) As far as the media are concerned, Kennedy might as well have been swimming laps in the East River.

It’s a ridiculous non-scandal, but more than that, it’s a perfect illustration of the media failing to understand Kennedy’s appeal. Did they never swim in lakes and creeks of questionable potability as children? My friends and I swam in still lakewater that fermented in 100-degree Florida heat all summer. Whenever some E. coli outbreak somewhere made the news, our mothers told us to try and keep our heads above water and poured peroxide in our ears as we dried off. I assume most Americans have similarly fond childhood memories of swimming in lakes, creeks, rivers, and bays around the country. When D.C. shut down public pools in 2020 in the name of “stopping the spread” of Covid, locals decided a plunge in Rock Creek was worth the risk.

We’re tired of having a nanny state tell us we can’t be trusted to take normal risks like shooting guns, drinking raw milk, using gas-powered stoves and cars, shooting fireworks, or swimming in a germy creek. They shut down the whole country, forced us to cover our faces, and banished us from gathering and worshiping with friends and family, all “for our protection.” At the same time, as the feds allow harmful chemicals in our food supply while regulating family farms out of existence and city water treatments leave our tap water contaminated with synthetic hormones and PFAS, we’re not supposed to notice.

Americans don’t want a government that forcibly bubble-wraps them and treats them like children to be scolded into submission for their own good. They also don’t want government regulators and perverse incentive structures to make raising and feeding a healthy family so hard. They want the freedom to make their own, informed choices about their health — both which risks to take and which ones not to. And they’re smart enough to know that the government has a terrible track record at making risk analyses for us.

That’s why Kennedy is so popular. He seems to understand that holistic health is not the same thing as maximum protection from risk. And if he wants to swim in a questionable creek instead of public pools contaminated by dirty diapers and forever chemicals, that’s his prerogative. Rock Creek certainly isn’t the swampiest place in the city.